hi every one....
I joined Gransnet just now.... Basically i am feeling suicidal and am desperate to get some help regarding ESA.. failed medical assessment.
i was on the ESA for over 2 years. I went away to try to get help as i felt i was deteriorating mentally and physically... unfortunately it caused more problems.as i went away over a month.. So my ESA got suspended/stopped. ........ I reclaimed........ but cant get any pay until i go thru medical interview (ATOS) I was back in london 22nd December 2012. I havent been paid since...now its 5 months without regular income.. What do people do until we get any benefits of any kind
I dont have any other income... after a lot of phone calls and finally CAB i got an interview 11th April.
Meanwhile i got more depressed and now suffering more anxiety. Ive not been going out of the house much...(no cash...fear of spending ) .. i am eating less..I cant afford to buy regular full meals.. this has an effect on my health as i am diabetic, blood pressure is high .. cholesterol .. I was diagnosed with fibromialgya so i have a lot of physical issues ..
I borrowed money to travel there. I been living on borrowed money which i have to pay back... Crisis Loan is not an option anymore. Local authority help cant help becoz i said friend lent me money. friend can help once twice.........but how can i expect friends to lend me money for 5 months ....she is not working either ..she lives on pension.
I FAILED THE MEDICAL ON THE 11TH APRIL. I just got letter today to inform me.. I feel suicidal.. they are doing their job...meanwhile i am so out of my mind ..i feel like am at the end of the road, I cant stop crying. I've reached the end of the road.... I cant work........but they believe i can......... what do i do besides killing myself.? I cant see any way out..... no one to help or support I am sorry i am blabbering.. I cant think straight... I am preoccupied since i received the letter.. with suicidl thoughts.. visions of thames... and overdose...i got enuf tablets around.. my life has no value anymore.. ESA..obcentre whatever...they are pushing me overedge. If i dont get help soon ...................i don tknow..i feel my mind has a will of its own now...
Can any one please tell me what to do?. Appeal takes a while....i cant fight anymore.. Sorry if this sounds too much .. i already feel stupid
if anyone can help or even advise....... i will really appreciate.........
I wish you all ladies and gents here all the best...
Thank u for reading .............dont worry if u cant help...
bybye
sapna
I am in Southwark, London South East. Live alone