to feel despair at the gay marriage vote

bags- you grow in strength from post to post - respect!
I got married in a register office and my charming Mil was happy to come, but she would not have come if we had been married in a catholic church. As I had been an atheist from the age of 12, that was not likely to happen, but I nearly insisted on it just to spite her. It gave me a good insight into how some people think.
My daughter got married in church because she adores her future MIL, who had accepted her and her four children with open arms, and who was so thrilled to have a 'proper' marriage to attend. Both her own daughters had married abroad and she was unable to attend, although they graciously allowed their parents to pay for lavish receptions on their return home. My daughter said she would have been happily married in a tent, and 17 years later they are still deeply in love and very happy. Her own son married in church this summer, again to please his wife's family, who have a long connection with the local church. I think kindness for others is more important sometimes than principles.
I was very happy to attend both weddings and see such radiant happiness - I wasn't asked for advice, but if I had been I would have said they must do whatever made the most people happy. No christenings though, for any of my children, gc and great-gc and no religious services at the funerals of my mother, sister and brother. If anybody suggested getting in a cleric to mouth platitudes at my funeral, I would come back and haunt them.

I didn't say "superior" bags. I said a church setting gives the occasion more solemnity. Please don't corrupt my posts.

But surely, solemnity has nothing to do with religion? Am I the only one who could not 'abuse' a Church service for the sake of 'solemnity' or a fashionable setting for the photos - not just because it would feel all wrong to take such a huge and important step via a 'lie/cham' BUT ALSO out of respect for my friends who are sincere Christians and for the Vicar too (discussions with many of my friends who are Vicars indicate clearly how uneasy and uncomfortable they can feel about this- but cannot say 'no' nowadays).

We are digressing I suppose, and maybe the issue of marriage for non-believers in Church would be worthy of another discussion.

I can absolutely see your point Greatnan, re kindness for others being more important than principles. Thanks. Funnily enough, when we made the decision not to get married in Church - it did upset some members of our family. Guess who went to see them and tell them that we were doing the right thing, and that it should be accepted and respected. Our great Vicar- who really appreciated hour honesty and respect- for our vows, and for his faith and institution. The Vicar here feels just the same.

granjura I can't add anything more to the post I have already made.

(re adding solemnity to the occasion, that is)

Shut up, jura, or I will poke you in the ribs.
Not really, she might not feed me!

Getting out of here - it is just too dangerous, as GN is sitting next to me on the settee.

And I suppose we are getting round and round again.

Hate the sin and love the sinner. Love better than respect. How can you respect someone who beats up his wife? Or abuses children? Yes, round and round and round....when we got married (register office) members of my loving extended family, who weren't invited, asked when the baby was due. My elder DS was born about seven years later.

My in-laws also assumed that I was pregnant because I was only 18 but they had to wait four years for my first baby. They were right though - I was too young and if I had waited I would have had the courage to tell my fiance that although I liked him very much I did not want to spend my life with him.

When my mother told my father he was going to be a grandfather. He said ' silly b******s they might have waited'
He thought she meant my brother who was engaged rather than me who'd been married for 5years

When I was a young girl I had a conversation with my Dad about Gay people, just a light conversation, nothing heavy. He was quite a well travelled person and I wanted his opinion on gay people as I had just started to learn that there were gay people in the world.

My Dad explained that he knew a gay man that was ashamed that he was gay and would never show it and always hid the fact that he was gay, my Dad said that he felt very sorry for this man that was living a tortured life, he said that being gay is not a matter of choice.

When was that Rose? Very enlightened of him if it was in the 40s/50s.

My dad's favourite sister was a staunch/very sincere Catholic, born in 1910. She battled all her young life with the realisation that she was gay - and in the end had a massive breakdown and committed suicide when she was in her early 40s. I heard many relatives say that if she couldn't abstain, death was the best alternative. One my my nieces is gay (my dad's sister would have been her great, great aunt. She is also gay - but as a committed Catholic has made the choice to be celibate. I admire her sticking with what her religion dictates, and yet feel it is so sad that she should be denied the comfort of a partner.

We haven't got anything like this over here have we? (In the US)

Are you in the U S?

You're never an American!!

Just been reading in our local rag of a pair of emperor penguins (both male) who have been in a loving relationship for nine years and even raised a chick (surrogate?) and that 10% of western gulls are homosexual. My friend acquired her very well bred west highland terrier because he was no good for a stud dog - he was gay. It seems homosexuality is quite common in animals. Why should we be any different?

Eh? What? Crossed thread. J0 is American?

petallus! That was deliberate! #causing confusion

I meant the thing I linked to is in the US.

Just about to ask the same. I have no particular reason to think it but always assumed you were here in UK, j08?

Homosexuality was not mentioned in our family! However, a cousin of my father's was what was then known as 'a confirmed bachelor'. He lived alone though and was a distinguished educationalist. His sister, a teacher, lived, till the day she died, with another woman; their names were always bracketed together just as married couples' names are; and I'm sure they were more than 'just good friends'.

How to confuse a Granny part 1.

I am!!!

#iftherestwowaystotakeapost

Personally I don`t have a problem with homosexuality as I am very heterosexual and each to his or her own.By and large homosexuals don`t bother anyone who is not of their `faith` so I don`t have an issue with it.
As a septuagenarian male I must confess to a `liking` for ladies who are of a much more advanced age than myself if only I could find such a lady.