to feel despair at the gay marriage vote

Almost twenty five years ago, Mr soop and I were married in a register office, surrounded by family and friends. It was a very enjoyable occasion and as solemn as it needed to be. We then walked hand in hand through the charming town of Oundle. It was, for us, the perfect start to a very successful marriage.

No blood has been spilt on this thread, mishap. The only thing that's happened is that maries has apparently gone off in a huff in spite of assuring us that she was remaining quite cool and unperturbed by the subject. Things she said were argued with by several people, and a couple of things she said were laughed at by a few people. That's all.

I married in church in spite of my agnostic views - it meant a great deal to my very religious MIL and did me no harm, and it set ourt relationship off on a good footing. That can be a reason why people choose a church wedding - to please other members of the family. I regard that as a christian act!

I am sad that this thread has lost the plot a bit and that maries felt she had to float away.

Posting things that might be controversial is fine - I once posted something that was rightly interpreted as anti-dog and I got ready to duck - but there was no problem - people respected my view and the reasons that had caused it, and no blood spilt! That is how it should be.

No need to be sorry. But what you said is still crap.

I can't agree that that is possible. Sorry.

And just as solemn as a church wedding could be too. I do wish people wouldn't talk such bullshit about non-religious activities!

Rubbish! My register office wedding was as solemn as it could be.

A church wdedding gives the occasion a solemnity a registry office can't give, and therefore provide a good start, belief or not.

And they are enjoyable and pretty. Why deny anyone that?

Perhaps for those few brief moments they will believe.

Bags and Granjura. Totally agree about getting married in church or being a godparent if you are not a believer. Many times my DD has had to explain to her Grandmother why she had a civil wedding and why my DGS has not been christened. She thinks it would be hypercritical as she does not believe.

That's just it you cant discriminate and have one law or one and another law for the other.

lily

jura, I don't think heteros who aren't practising christians should be married in christian churches either. Doesn't seem to stop them, and the vicars don't seem to mind, so why mind about homos?

I agree with you, by the way. Why have a religious ceremony unless you are religious?

Thank you, Bags

I am an atheist, and yet I do not agree with heterosexual couples getting married in Church unless they are practising Christians. Out of respect- even though I disagree with them. Why spend the most important day of your life telling 'lies' and saying 'yes' to things you do not believe in at all.

Same for being a God Parent- why say you promise to help raise a child according to the Bible and with belief in the Trinity, etc - when you know full well you will do nothing of the sort?

I think you're probably right, lily. #youcancomeoutnow

Speaking from behind the sofa...I think maries was new, just misjudged the tone of the debate and didn't read enough of the previous posts. Easily done.

Well said petallus.

Hehe! I like your old fogey with a gong analogy, petallus.

Thanks, joan. I did find that my thoughts straightened themselves out in the shower, and I realised you meant there would be no "slippery slope" effect for heteros.

I think some people who are already in the institution of marriage, and think of it in a certain way, feel it's sacredness will be diminished if it is changed to include gay people.

A bit like some old fogey returning their OBE when somebody they feel unworthy gets one.

What I mean is, why object to something you never have to do yourself? Something that harms no-one and helps many.

All that carry on would only make sense if others were directly affected. They are not. Only the same sex couples are affected. Why be mean and deny them something heteros are not denied?

Personally i have no objection at all to anybody marrying in church. But then I'm an atheist so I wouldn't expect to.

However i am interested in trying to understand where those who do object are coming from.

I did get an insight from Maries' postings actually.

Please can you explain your number two point, joan. I'm not sure I understand. Is there any suggestion that "everyone" is going to go into same sex relationships? I suppose you mean that the fact that some people do doesn't mean everyone will. Have I got that correctly?

I meant hone your opinions not home.

This is a huge thread and an interesting topic. Too lazy to read through it all though.

My observations about the theme of this thread are:

1) Posting something many will disagree with is good - it helps you understand the other point of view, shows some interesting arguments, and can be a lot of fun, while helping you home your own opinions.

2) In this case I do disagree, but it is like the debate on pro-choice v pro life: just because some folks do it, ie have an abortion or marry a same sex partner, it does not mean everyone else has to do it!!!!

3) I'm a firm believer in live and let live. Same sex people marrying each other does not hurt me personally in any way. But my preventing them from marrying would certainly hurt them.