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To feel cross with OH

(48 Posts)
Mishap Tue 19-Feb-13 21:13:52

When I went out to a meeting this morning, OH, who has PD, announced that he was going to put some big heavy pitcures into the loft. The last thing I said as I went out of the door was "Please don't do this - you cannot manage it by yourself. Please wait till one of the SILs is here to help."

What do I find when I get back? - he has broken a rib whilst trying to do this!

I suggest some paracetamol to ease the pain and get huge flea in my ear! Later he gives in and takes it and is in less pain.


I am trying to be sympathetic, but finding it hard. I must sound like a very hard woman, but this sort of thing happens all the time and sometimes I get a bit exasperated. I cannot help it.

Galen Tue 19-Feb-13 21:19:09

Typical man! And no doubt it was your fault!

kittylester Tue 19-Feb-13 21:35:56

Probably Galen

Mishap - flipping men, eh! They still think they are strapping youngsters don't they! Just think about the cookery course! flowerswinewine

nanapug Tue 19-Feb-13 22:09:24

You have enough on your plate at the moment Mishap and certainly don't need this too. Poor you. Hope you let him know you are really cross. I used to tell my Mum (who used to try to do things that she shouldn't) that she would be more of a bl**dy nuisance if I had to visit her in hospital or nurse her than if she asked someone to help her. She never did get it though. Hope he is ok though xx

j08 Tue 19-Feb-13 22:23:42

It's good that he keeps trying. Encourage it. Cracked ribs heal.

Ana Tue 19-Feb-13 22:28:53

I don't agree, jingl. Sometimes they over-reach themselves because they're in denial about how limiting their particular health problems are or can be. Cracked ribs are bad enough - could be a lot worse.

Ana Tue 19-Feb-13 22:49:42

Having re-read my post, I realise that sounds a bit patronising - it's not just men, it can be ourselves as well. The trouble is that it's natural to want to protect your OH from potential harm. (And of course, it's you who has to pick up the pieces!)

Deedaa Tue 19-Feb-13 23:39:38

It is typical though. My husband who can sometimes barely walk across the room insisted on carrying a new carpet from the car to the house and ended up in a state of collapse. Apparently waiting for our son to come and do it wasn't an option!
My 90 year old godmother hurt herself quite badly when she stood a chair on a table and climbed up to get something off a high shelf !!! It's definitely not just men.

Galen Tue 19-Feb-13 23:47:12

I confiscated my grans steps when I found her using them to rehang curtains at age 84!
I won't even look at my feet in case I get giddy when I've my specs on and can see them over my bulge.(not the duchess of Cambridgeshire sort)

Ariadne Wed 20-Feb-13 06:42:09

Oh, do I understand right now! Theseus is now using just one stick, just over a fortnight after the hip replacement. Every so after, like yesterday, he tries to behave as if he isn't recovering from a fairly major operation, by doing too much. The two little GSs and their parents are with us, and I am sure that he was determined to show everyone how well he was doing. So, he was in bed by 8.30, absolutely exhausted!

absent Wed 20-Feb-13 07:12:05

j08 Cracked ribs do indeed heal but they hurt like stink while they are doing it. I broke two ribs slipping over on the ice a week before Christmas and even now they twinge quite painfully from time to time. If Mr Mishap already has mobility and stability problems, he can do without anything that causes extra physical stress when he moves around.

Mishap Exasperating and worrying in equal quantities, I imagine. flowers

JessM Wed 20-Feb-13 07:27:15

I's not just men. I remember MIL, while waiting for a hip operation, putting up xmas decorations, standing on dining chairs etc. But it is hard for anyone to lose an ability they previously had I suppose. And common sense does not always increase with age.

ginny Wed 20-Feb-13 08:21:05

I do sympathise with you Mishap. I used to have the same problem with my Dad. Afterwards I think embarrassment makes them need to blame someone else .

However, My DH and my DDs are always saying 'well, why didn't you ask one of us?' Independence is so hard to give up, even in little things.

j08 Wed 20-Feb-13 08:23:25

Absent there's not much you can tell me about the pain of cracked ribs. I still feel it's best to keep trying to do all of the things you have always done. Obviously within limits.

Each to his own I guess.

absent Wed 20-Feb-13 08:23:29

As someone who climbed a step ladder to wash the tops of the kitchen cupboards while my leg was in plaster and pins were holding two broken bones together, I sympathise with Mr Mishap's desire to get on with things.

Nelliemoser Wed 20-Feb-13 08:52:42

I remember my dad then into his 80s wanting to get rid of an old 3 piece suite and not pay the council to remove it. I helped him take it out into his garage which did not help my back, and he proceeded to pull it apart saw it up and take it bit by bit in his car to the tip.

He took great glee in keeping a tally of the money he found down the back of the seats.

My sister was a bit worried about this but he thoroughly enjoyed himself!

annodomini Wed 20-Feb-13 09:53:31

I've been putting off changing a light bulb on the landing because I feel insecure on a step ladder. Silly, I know, because the upshot of having one of the lights not working is that the stairs are darker. Which is the more dangerous?

j08 Wed 20-Feb-13 10:08:03

I feel more steady on a chair than on a step ladder. I know that isn't the accepted wisdom!

Tegan Wed 20-Feb-13 10:44:21

Totally agree about the chair. I 've got a small wooden child's chair that is far too uncomfortable for a child but very sturdy and it's great for standing on to do certain jobes [eg changing light bulbs], or, I sometimes use it next to a dining chair so I can get a bit higher [my knees can't climb stragh onto a dining chair. My problem with changing light bulbs is that I get a very slight dizziness doing things like that. As for stepladders, I'm quite capable for forgetting which step I'm on blush. Mind and body going awol I'm afraid sad...

Bags Wed 20-Feb-13 11:03:17

anno, use it as a way of training yourself to find your way about your house with your eyes shut. I often do that. It's fun as well as confidence-building. Bit like learning to read medicine packets in Braille. Very satisfying smile

Movedalot Wed 20-Feb-13 11:10:32

Mishap I can understand his frustration, and yours! Sometimes I think men do feel the need to prove something but then I do things I shouldn't out of frustration of waiting for someone else to do them. Somewhere there is a happy medium but I have not yet found it. I went out last night and am suffering for it today but then if I don't do anything that is bad too.

I can join in the competetive thing about ribs too, I broke 3 grin

j08 Wed 20-Feb-13 11:14:27

"competitive" grin

j08 Wed 20-Feb-13 11:15:32

I will willingly lose this one! grin

Galen Wed 20-Feb-13 12:05:38

Absent that was very very silly!

JessM Wed 20-Feb-13 12:49:13

absent!!! washing the tops of kitchen cupboards! that is a job that would not even cross my mind once a decade.