taking to nursery

Your DD needs to check out flexible working, as she is entitled to request this with children under five. Shorter work breaks or use of leave days (eg using one 8 hour leave day divided up into 16 x 1/2 hour slots) so she can start 1/2 hour later, would probably resolve this for her without you having to put yourself out.

Not unreasonable at all , I agree with the others if you don't want to then don't do it . I'm sure if it came to it having to leave half an hour later isn't going to ruin your daughters career.

I am reading this thread with some interest as when I emigrate to be near absentdaughter in New Zealand (and for other reasons too) helping with childcare is part of the plan. She has five children ranging in age from nearly one to eleven and is planning to go to university. I am certainly prepared to help but do not want to find my entire life tightly scheduled by someone else, much as I love her.

I feel very strongly about this issue although it is the picking up from school is the problem not that we love to see our gs our day is governed by the pick up and it is almost as if we are some how priveliged to be doing this does any one else feel the same?

I'm sorry but if you DD has chosen to have two chidlren then it is up to her to sort this out. You should not feel quiltyand you are not ruining her career.We all like to help out when we can but to expect you to be available every day is just taking advantage. I am hearing so much of this attitude these days.Every action has a consequence and people need to learn to be responsible for their own actions and decisions not expect others to rearrange their live to make thing easier for themselves.

Hi fillygumbo, well personally i do not think you are being unreasonable at all. I think our dds are sometimes very good at laying on the guilt and of course many times we accept it. I wonder why they never see it as their responsibility to look after, bring up and arrange childcare and that it is not our responsibility to do this for them. The thought of getting up and getting reluctant youngsters ready fills anyone with dread and especially so early. I wonder why we let them do it to us, but we do and i know of many in this position, you are not alone. I am sure there will be many other GNs who will be adding comments. Look forward to hearing how you get on and resolve this.

I know that my DiLs who have no grandparents nearby have successfully managed without. If they have to they do. An arrangement with other parents can work well.

I don't think you're being unreasonable filly. Are there any other options?

Could the children's father take them to nursery?
Is there a different nursery that opens at 7.30 so your daughter can take them?
Could your daughter start work half an hour later and only take half an hour for her lunch break?