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To remonstrate with someone about bad timekeeping.?

(67 Posts)
grannyactivist Tue 12-Mar-13 13:09:35

One of my friends runs a Chinese restaurant. He works very hard to make a living and often puts in an 18 hour day. His landlord is a solicitor - and in my view is not a good landlord, but obviously has my friend over a barrel when it comes to changes to the lease or work he wants my friend to do on the property. Because my friend is not confident I act as his PA for these appointments and speak on his behalf. The solicitor has been at least 20 minutes late for every single appointment and more usually is 30 minutes late or more. Today, as usual, he was half an hour late for our appointment and when he breezed in and said his usual, "I do apologise", I let rip. I told him that his behaviour was unacceptable, that he was rude and disrespectful and reminded him that he has been late for every appointment he's made and that he obviously believes his time is more valuable than mine. I don't know who among us was the more shocked. There was a waitress in the room who ran to the kitchen, my friend looked on in disbelief (he's very 'authority compliant') and the solicitor was puce - and could do no more than to say in a subdued voice that of course he did not believe his time was more valuable than mine.
I am so rarely angry with an individual that I'm feeling quite discombobulated. I did think afterwards that I should not have berated him so publicly. blush

Nelliemoser Wed 13-Mar-13 09:57:06

GA Good for you! I would have loved to hear that confrontation.

My DH is always late. Will you come and tell him please! wink. Its so bad I prefer to go to things alone.

annodomini Wed 13-Mar-13 10:30:57

One of the things (among many) that I abhorred about my ex was his extreme unpunctuality. Many was the time I had to hang around waiting for him on a street corner after a Saturday morning shopping trip when he'd given me the slip. I got wise to this and if I wanted him to be there by midday, I'd tell him 11.30. This was, of course, in the days before mobile phones.

JessM Wed 13-Mar-13 11:22:26

oh well anno I was only reminding myself the other day don't arrange to meet a man in a public place
With DS2 in shopping centre:
Me: I am meeting someone and will call you when I'm done. If all else fails I WILL be outside Carluccios at 11.
11.20 still outside Carluccios, no response on mobile. He's wandering around in John Lewis where there is no reception. He eventually picked up call when I was stomping off to car park.
And then did the same thing trying to arrange to meet DH in IKEA. Re-run. 15 minutes late - no sign. doh. went home. "where were you?"
there is no phone reception in those big metal boxes.

grumppa Wed 13-Mar-13 15:57:32

Good for you!

Gally Wed 13-Mar-13 20:46:46

Good on you GA. People need to be told.
We have friends who are always late - well she is and he is by default. The final straw was when we had arranged for a mini bus to take a group of friends to a restaurant to celebrate the late Mr. G's birthday and they were 30 minutes late - everyone else sitting on the bus waiting...... Result was we arrived too late for the drinks and canapés and had to welly straight in to the dinner. I was angryangry More angry that she never realised her mistake and never apologised. I always arrange things now with at least a 3/4 hour leeway so she is more or less on time!

annsixty Wed 13-Mar-13 21:02:52

Well there is no way my group of friends would be sitting on a mini bus waiting for 30 mins when I assume you had paid for said drinks and canapes.A text would have been dispatched telling them to make their own way there . What bad manners!!

Galen Wed 13-Mar-13 21:59:41

I get a little annoyed when we have cancellations on the tribunal so we ask the last one to come earlier to fill a gap? On several occasions they have said,' no. I'm coming at the arranged time!" Then fail to attend at all[hm]

Galen Wed 13-Mar-13 22:00:02


nanaej Wed 13-Mar-13 22:23:35

grannyactivist you did the right thing. I do think that some people use lateness in these types of situations as a clear strategy to try to unnerve the people waiting. It also implies a lack of respect. If he was genuinely held up his PA should have contacted you to let you know! That at least would show some level of courtesy! Respect GA

gillybob Wed 13-Mar-13 22:41:44

It's funny how certain professions think it is perfectly acceptable to keep you waiting . I used to think that whenever a doctor kept you waiting it was probably because "he" was in theatre or dealing with some very serious case, until an acquaintance (married to a consultant gynaecologist) told me that the hospital had to send a taxi to pick him up virtually every morning as he couldn't get out of bed and was always late for clinic. shock

Galen Wed 13-Mar-13 23:01:01


Bags Thu 14-Mar-13 08:39:30

My GP was a bit late for my early morning appointment the other day. He did apologise. The very early appointments are something new the surgery is trying and nobody had told him there were some on Tuesday, so he was happily unclogging his garden shredder before going to work grin.

absent Thu 14-Mar-13 08:42:50

Isn't punctuality said to be the politeness of kings? What makes this lawyer thing that he is more than royalty?

absent Thu 14-Mar-13 08:43:04

thing not thing.

Galen Thu 14-Mar-13 08:43:13

Perhaps I should add to my post.
Unless it is very early morning!
(I don't do mornings, not compos until third coffeegrin

absent Thu 14-Mar-13 08:43:25

still wrong – think not thing.

Galen Thu 14-Mar-13 08:44:21

absent I said that ages ago! But I say princes not kings

absent Thu 14-Mar-13 09:01:48

Sorry Galen, I must have missed it. Wasn't the original attributed to Louis XVIII – L'exactitude est la politesse des rois?

dorsetpennt Thu 14-Mar-13 09:27:27

I am always on time if not early for appointments, meetings etc. When you are like this late arrivals are extremely annoying. As a family we are all on time.
I have a friend who is never on time and she makes an affectation of it - always saying with a cute little giggle ' sorry you know what I'm like'. BTW she isn't ten minutes late but half an hour late - we've missed trains because of her. The last time, when it was obvious that if we waited any longer we'd miss a train, we went on it anyway. I then received an irate phone call berating me for going ahead. The next time she was on time - so the plan is that if she's late we don't wait [ooh poetry]. smile

absent Thu 14-Mar-13 13:25:19

I went to a school which considered unpunctuality a sin on the same sort of level as patricide so I have always been obsessively punctual – half an hour early rather than half a minute late.

harrigran Thu 14-Mar-13 15:47:08

We had reason to be grateful to one of DH's colleagues from work. They missed the train because he was late yet again, had they caught it they then would have been on the underground train that was devastated by a bomb.

rojon Thu 14-Mar-13 16:37:54

My son is always late because he doesn't allow enough time for things. The last time we arranged to meet I deliberately arrived half an hour late only to find he hadn't arrived. Doh!!!

Grannyknot Thu 14-Mar-13 19:26:46

dorset you're so right "if not early" - nothing like a calm arrival in good time.

I like that phrase "in good time". smile

Greatnan Thu 14-Mar-13 19:36:55

I suppose my obsessive need to be, not just on time, but early for every appointment is indicative of my general desire to control my life - I am usually at the airport a good three hours before take-off!
I think regular readers will know that I love my dear sister almost unreservedly, but over the years she has caused me so much worry and inconvenience by her lateness - missing buses, trains and planes when I have made careful arrangements for her (and paid the fares!).
When I ask her why she is late, she says she had a lot to do - I have tried suggesting that she starts doing it sooner!

I think this so-called professional man needed a darned good telling off and I hope he appreciated it!

NfkDumpling Thu 14-Mar-13 19:52:22

Oh dear, I confess, I am a latey. . When I was for work I was punctual and managed my time really well - but appointments were all within walking distance. Puntuality just never spread over into real life. However hard I try I am perpetually five minutes late for hairdressers etc. Something always crops up. Mother rings, every traffic light turns red, road works appear out of nowhere. Coming home takes half the time and all traffic lights are green. Sod's Law.