Gransnet forums


To remonstrate with someone about bad timekeeping.?

(66 Posts)
grannyactivist Tue 12-Mar-13 13:09:35

One of my friends runs a Chinese restaurant. He works very hard to make a living and often puts in an 18 hour day. His landlord is a solicitor - and in my view is not a good landlord, but obviously has my friend over a barrel when it comes to changes to the lease or work he wants my friend to do on the property. Because my friend is not confident I act as his PA for these appointments and speak on his behalf. The solicitor has been at least 20 minutes late for every single appointment and more usually is 30 minutes late or more. Today, as usual, he was half an hour late for our appointment and when he breezed in and said his usual, "I do apologise", I let rip. I told him that his behaviour was unacceptable, that he was rude and disrespectful and reminded him that he has been late for every appointment he's made and that he obviously believes his time is more valuable than mine. I don't know who among us was the more shocked. There was a waitress in the room who ran to the kitchen, my friend looked on in disbelief (he's very 'authority compliant') and the solicitor was puce - and could do no more than to say in a subdued voice that of course he did not believe his time was more valuable than mine.
I am so rarely angry with an individual that I'm feeling quite discombobulated. I did think afterwards that I should not have berated him so publicly. blush

nanamacatj Tue 12-Mar-13 13:16:29

Oh how I wish I had been there. Bad time keeping is my pet hate in any shape or form, I think it is the ultimate in bad manners. Well done you for putting this so called professional in his place grin

glammanana Tue 12-Mar-13 13:22:24

GA good for you I bet he will not be late again and risk facing the wrath of a GNer total lack of good manners imo.

MiceElf Tue 12-Mar-13 13:27:14

Good for you GA. Lateness is extremely rude, whoever it is. Everyone deserves courtesy and respect and this arrogant person has rightly had the acceptable standards of behaviour pointed out to him.

Just possibly he might take thought about being a better landlord if he knows that you are on the case. Respect!

glassortwo Tue 12-Mar-13 13:32:39

grannya smile well done, he wont be late for any furture appointments you have, I would put my hat on it wink

annodomini Tue 12-Mar-13 14:27:08

You were 100% in the right to tear a strip off him, ga. Arrogant creature that he is. I hope this makes him think about his attitude to all his clients from now on.

JessM Tue 12-Mar-13 14:33:59

I guess assertive is better than tearing a strip isn't it? Bottled up anger with him - or was he partly getting it in the neck for someone else as well?
They - solicitors - are terribly time conscious when it comes to charging clients aren't they - but not when it comes to keeping people waiting.

gracesmum Tue 12-Mar-13 14:37:15

I wonder if he has ever heard a saying which I think goes like this:
"The while we keep a man waiting, he is able to reflect on our shortcomings"

whenim64 Tue 12-Mar-13 14:37:47

Good for you ga, you were right to assert yourself about his punctuality. I hate lateness - it's inconsiderate and disrespectful. Occasional delays can be understood, but not when it happens again and again.

Wheniwasyourage Tue 12-Mar-13 15:19:30

Yes, well done, grannyactivist. That'll do him no harm at all. I remember reading somewhere (but of course, can't remember where) that if rebukes are required for public misbehaviour they are most effective when delivered by a woman of a certain maturity, so good for you flowers

grannyactivist Tue 12-Mar-13 15:50:33

Thanks for sharing your views that IANBU. I think the reasons that I was so angry are twofold; the first being that this particular man has been very cavalier in his treatment of my friend and secondly that being habitually late is very arrogant behaviour and again, I think belittles both my friend and me. I do think that I was correct in naming and shaming his behaviour as rude and disrespectful, but would rather the poor waitress had not been a witness. I think from the point of view of the recipient of my onslaught, the most embarrassing thing is that he must know that his behaviour was rude and disrespectful - and as he is about the same age as me it is most likely very many years since he's been deservedly 'told off' for bad behaviour. shock

harrigran Tue 12-Mar-13 16:02:05

Bravo and well done flowers
I can not abide rudeness on that scale, being habitually late shows total lack of respect.

Bags Tue 12-Mar-13 16:44:14

I see you are back in fine fettle, ga. That's good smile

Faye Tue 12-Mar-13 16:44:30

Well done, he was showing his bad manners and nothing less than your wrath would have set him straight. He will think twice before being late and hopefully will be a fairer landlord in the future. He got a verbal clip round the ear. smile

Galen Tue 12-Mar-13 16:48:30

Punctuality is the politeness of princes. I hate being late so much I even turned up early for my wedding and had to wait until the vicar had finished the previous onehmm

JessM Tue 12-Mar-13 17:16:06

must have got over your cough.... to have the puff. Good. grin

Ariadne Tue 12-Mar-13 17:21:49

Good for you, ga! Such lateness is is inexcusable, and who else, in that place and that situation, would have told him? Atta girl!

kittylester Tue 12-Mar-13 17:44:52

Great ga I'm sure some people are late to make themselves feel more important - silly man angry

Bags Tue 12-Mar-13 18:15:13

I read somewhere recently, in an article about what constitutes passive aggressive behaviour, that being consistently late for appointments is just that.

JessM Tue 12-Mar-13 18:38:48

could be bags
I do know some people who are habitually late. Over-optimism about how long things take is a factor for them. Just terrible at estimating how much they will get done and how long it will take to fit all the tasks in. And getting distracted and absorbed in something instead of focussing on getting out of the door. I don't think in these people (i know them so well... as the song goes) they are trying to dominate or show their importance.
It sometimes feels as if they are not thinking about other people though, she muttered, between gritted teeth.

Galen Tue 12-Mar-13 18:43:47


Bags Tue 12-Mar-13 18:46:26

Perhaps it has to be deliberate to count as p.aggressive.

goldengirl Tue 12-Mar-13 20:02:28

For a professional person to be late is unacceptable unless they have a good reason. Well done you for saying your piece!

fillygumbo Tue 12-Mar-13 21:01:34

Very brave grannyactivist!

grannyactivist Wed 13-Mar-13 09:44:42

Uh oh - is there something in the water? My student is 15 minutes late for his lesson this morning and I've gone to a bit of trouble to juggle other things in order to fit him in. I have a horrible feeling he's going to be a 'no show'. Aargh!