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AIBU

91 year old father

(35 Posts)
ninathenana Sat 16-Mar-13 11:05:25

No help to offer sorry. Good luck with your quest.

This is something I hadn't even thought about. My mum is in EMI home. I have no idea what their smoking policy is.

Granny23 Sat 16-Mar-13 02:33:44

The LA authority run home where ancient uncle lives has a smoking room with armchairs, a TV, coffee table and magazines. Certain areas of the grounds are designated as smoking areas. My understanding is that they are obliged to provide these facilities as the residents are in their own [care] home - it is where they live and not a nursing home or hospital.

I have spent a lot of time over the past few weeks visiting and waiting at Forth Valley Hospital and the Beatson in Glasgow - both totally non-smoking buildings, grounds and car parks with signs everywhere. The paving around the entrance and the patio beside the cafe is covered in cigarette ends, no ash trays or bins are provided and nobody sweeps up the area. Patients in their pyjamas huddle under the canopy at the door and obviously distressed relatives light up as soon as they come out - except one elderly man, with tears streaming down his face who reached for his cigarettes, only to have his wife say 'No smoking here, you'll have to wait until you are home'.

The blanket ban does not work. It annoys non-smokers and is cruel to smokers at a time of great stress. Surely a little compassion could prevail and a small covered and screened area could be set aside and bins provided instead of the current farce which benefits no one.

Grannyknot Fri 15-Mar-13 19:41:30

kassi that is tough. Interesting too how times have changed and the world has become a different place around him.

Family members of mine actually found a specialist care home in South Africa for their elderly father who had an addiction to painkillers - in other words a substance misuse care home for the elderly. I remember at the time, I was amazed.

So (not being flippant) there seems to be a similar gap in the market for a care home for smokers. There must be lots of people in the same situation as your dad.

They shouldn't have left him 'crawling the walls in withdrawal' in hospital, he should have been started him on NRT whilst in there, a missed opportunity?

FlicketyB Fri 15-Mar-13 19:37:02

My aunt is in a care home where smoking is allowed outside so there are some care homes that will permit it.

granjura Fri 15-Mar-13 19:33:59

Could you arrange for somebody to take care of him in his own home. It can actually be a lot cheaper.

JessM Fri 15-Mar-13 19:29:10

oh that is tough. An elderly cousin of mine was in hospital for ages and it was very difficult for him. They gave him nicotine patches.

kassi Fri 15-Mar-13 19:12:32

They are not even allowed e cigarettes! We have found a lovely home for ex servicemen, but the smoking is the stumbling block. He has been a smoker for 79 years since he was 12. There is no way he will be able to stop. Just don't know what to do.

Grannyknot Fri 15-Mar-13 19:05:54

Nicotine replacement therapy? Some of the e-cigarettes now have nicotine in them ...

Mishap Fri 15-Mar-13 19:04:07

What a very difficult situation; although I can see the care home's difficulty. He has done very well to get to 91! I do hope you can manage to find a solution - I am not at all sure what it might be.

kassi Fri 15-Mar-13 18:56:09

My 91 year old father needs full time care. The problem is that he smokes 30 a day. No care home will take a smoker. Even smoking outside is no longer allowed. I am at my wits end with what to do. He has all his faculties and is totally aware of what is going on, but is nicotine dependant. A recent overnight stay in hospital saw him crawling the walls with nicotine withdrawal. Any suggestions welcome.