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Roadside memorial bouquets

(189 Posts)
NfkDumpling Thu 11-Apr-13 19:56:45

Nasty bend on the coast road and must have been another fatality as a lovely old oak tree is festooned with coloured cellophane. There's probably flowers hidden somewhere in there, but all that's visible is the wrapping.

If people go to the trouble of buying flowers to mourn the loss of a loved one - why can't they take the b****y wrapping off? Is it so no one knows they've been cheapskates and only got a petrol station bunch? And in a few weeks time when the contents have long disintegrated, the b****y cellophane is still hanging there.

It makes me really, really annoyed. Is it me?

POGS Thu 11-Apr-13 20:19:28


I do agree with you.

However there may be a reason why they are there. Perhaps it's somebody's loved one and they were killed whilst a long way from home. Maybe they cannot return to remove them and they just get raggy.

I don't think after a respectful period of time and the flowers have become to look in an obviously poor condition it would be unjustified to remove them. I think that way because the effect and reason is actually lost at that point and they actually look like an unkempt grave and that in turn can make the lovely thought appear hollow.

absent Thu 11-Apr-13 20:29:12

Apparently there is evidence that bunches of flowers, teddy bears, etc. put on trees, walls and lampposts to commemorate someone killed in an accident also cause accidents because drivers slow down to have a look. I think some police forces remove them but I'm not certain.

gracesmum Thu 11-Apr-13 20:41:40

Agree absolutely. Flowers - yes, cellophane wrapping, teddy bears and other tat? NO.

merlotgran Thu 11-Apr-13 20:55:22

Flowers are the most natural way of expressing sorrow, grief and sympathy. When they are spent they return to the earth from where they came.

Teddy bears, plastic, photo frames, wind chimes on the other hand....hmm

NfkDumpling Thu 11-Apr-13 22:20:23

Placing flowers as a mark of respect and memory of a loved one is a lovely thought but why hide the flowers? Plus, of course, if the wrapping is removed the flowers fade and return to the earth naturally. The cellophane seems to be left for months - I don't think anyone likes to remove it.

Movedalot Fri 12-Apr-13 10:04:30

I have made it clear to my DSs that if I should die in a road accident they are not to mark it in any way. I feel that I would rather be commemorated properly with a bench on our lovely hills or something else appropriate. I don't object to others doing it if it makes them feel better but think it should be biodegradeable.

gracesmum Fri 12-Apr-13 10:13:49

Not the same thing, but I have been surprised to see flowers still in their cellophane wrapping in our village churchyard - surely people know better? (Obviously not, on second thoughts)

shysal Fri 12-Apr-13 10:34:34

I have seen people dicing with death to place flowers in the centre of a busy roundabout. Surely the dear departed would not wish to be the cause of another accident.
A local dangerous bend has a rose bush planted, which is always attractive and better for the environment.

vampirequeen Fri 12-Apr-13 10:54:44

I find roadside memorials very distracting when I'm driving.

Movedalot Fri 12-Apr-13 11:44:57

How do they manage to put them on motorways?

Elegran Fri 12-Apr-13 12:13:43

Risking their own lives as they do it.

janthea Fri 12-Apr-13 13:02:06

Surely, if they were your loved ones, you would put the flowers or whatever on their graves or memorials. Why on the side of the road? I suspect quite a few of these flowers are placed by people who have no connection whatsoever with the accident victim.

absent Fri 12-Apr-13 13:06:25

I think this is a tradition among young people. Young drivers and/or their passengers are often killed in road accidents and their contemporaries mark their deaths with flowers, ribbon bows and other stuff.

glassortwo Fri 12-Apr-13 13:22:14

My FIL takes flowers to the crematorium on birthday, anniversaries, Christmas etc, I dont like leaving flowers at the crem, I like to see them at home and remember the person in the places they loved and not among lots of other flowers in some cold crematorium, which is the last place my MIL would be if given the choice, so I dont understand the flowers by the roadside thing, but everyone to their own I suppose.

NfkDumpling Fri 12-Apr-13 14:01:50

Around here discrete little crosses have started to appear. I think these are much better than cellophane heaps and do bring home accident black spots. They make me think about how I'm driving.

petallus Fri 12-Apr-13 14:44:04

I heard there is an organisation that takes it upon itself to place these flowers.

I agree they could at least take the cellophane off.

Gally Fri 12-Apr-13 15:25:47

There's a 'memorial' near my village which is festooned in football kit, scarves and heaven knows what else, still there after 5 years. It looks as if someone has dumped a load of old clothing by the roadside. I really do think that 5 years is long enough and, if they must, the family could lay flowers on the anniversary of the accident.

Nonu Fri 12-Apr-13 15:31:45

When we are driving round the States we very often see floral tributes + crosses . Particulary on bends where the Bikers love to drive.
I think it is nice because if it happened many, many miles from their home , people are possibly not able to visit regularly.
I do not seem to have seen them so much in this country .

glassortwo Fri 12-Apr-13 16:16:18

nonu there are lots in this area, but we have lots of narrow country lanes which are popular with bikers and fast cars.

Nonu Fri 12-Apr-13 16:52:05

Perhaps they are safer drivers in this area Laugh !


jennyjay Fri 12-Apr-13 16:54:33

I'll admit some displays are quite a distraction, but in the fraction of a second that you see an obviously organised flower arrangement for mourning, I don't know about you, but my mind straight away thinks ''an accident happened here'' and that I suddenly become more aware of my actions at that precise moment in time - either slowing me down, or taking that extra precaution looking around for bikes etc.

In a away.. possibly like those new 'flashing 30' lights along the roadside - you could be in a world of your own until that catches your attention and brings you back to reality.

However! I know this article is about some arrangements looking unsightly which I quite agree with - there are some lovely flower arrangements available without loud wrapping.
It's always a sad thought seeing a fresh bouquet though sad though a collection of withered forgotten flowers shares the same sad thought too..

harrigran Fri 12-Apr-13 17:41:44

I don't like to see flowers by the side of a road. I would not go to a hospital ward and tie a bouquet to a bed. Flowers belong in vases in a place that the deceased loved.

positivepam Fri 12-Apr-13 22:15:30

Gosh when I read some of the views posted on this thread it made me quite sad. People have usually died at these places, by some means or another and if it helps people to place flowers or whatever there, what does it matter and what has it got to do with anyone else. When my son was murdered by a church, many people placed flowers, some friends, some strangers and I was really touched by their thoughts and kindness. These are acts of kindness, if you don't like it don't do it but don't knock the people that do please. flowers

NfkDumpling Fri 12-Apr-13 22:31:04

Positive your loss is truly terrible. Leaving tributes is very laudable and touching, my point is that the tribute is hidden by coloured plastic. The flowers inside my be lovely - or may not actually be there. All that is visible is a pile of multi coloured cellophane. Several times I've thought some one had been fly tipping. I know in other countries the wrapping is removed to show the flowers. Why can't people do it here.