Roadside memorial bouquets

nanej, not wanting to show your feelings in public does not preclude talking and crying in private, when my sister died there was a lot of talking and crying in private but we preferred to be more controlled in public. As I have said previously, what use are the flowers to the deceased? Send them to the grieving family, they need them most.

I talked to the widow of someone who had died in the Falklands and she told me that the PLACE where her husband had died became of huge significance to her. In fact she said she didn't emotionally move on until (thanks to the Royal British Legion) she was able to go and visit the exact spot where he was killed. Memorial places can assume great significance for those who grieve.

I can understand that GA. It's why the WW1 cemitaries scattered over northern France are so poignant.

" just as some people scrape up dead hedgehogs from roads and give them a 'decent' burial."

No!!! I can't believe that.

Think of the Red Kites! Don't take their dinners away.

O M G !!!

I've done it again haven't I? #headinhands

Crows too. I don't bury hedgehogs, but I read a book about a man who did. Literary licence, wot?

Done what?

inane banter on a serious thread sssh! perhaps nobody's noticed.

#paranoidnow

Pish. It'd got to that stage anyhow. Besides, there's nothing inane about reminding me kites need to eat too and will eat carrion if there's any around, as there used to be in the streets of London, DH tells me. Kites were common there once.

They probably didn't till you pointed it out j08

It didn't start as that serious a thread - just me having a whinge about the piles of cellophane that appear on the side of roads looking like fly tipping but which are hiding bunches of flowers. Why don't people take the time to take the wrapping off!

Are there really people who bury road kill?

I wish I could remember what the book was called, nfk. Perhaps it will come back to me....

Bags I have to say you speak such thoughtful, caring and unbiased comments and considering you say you do not particularly like roadside memorials, you portray a very understanding view point. I stated earlier in this thread about my DS murder and again, I do not find it offensive upsetting or any other feeling when people leave floral tributes, this was done for our DS at the site near the church where he attacked. We just thought how kind it was for people, mostly strangers who had done this and I know they were cleared away when needed. The thing is as Bags said it is an individual thing, some people do it and are not upset by it, such as me and that is ok and then some people such as FlicketyB do not like it and get upset and that is ok to. We are all different and we should be allowed to have diverse views. I think sometimes people do not know what to do or perhaps do not know where the relatives live, so this might be the only way to show some kindness. To some who have said they do not understand why you would want to go to the scene of a fatality, I can only say, we had to. I needed to see exactly where my DS spent his final moments of his shortened life and yes it was and is the worse thing you can ever go through and I cannot put in to words what I felt, imagining what my DS went through and the guilt that any parent goes through when you feel you should have been there to protect your child. But, you see, those are my feelings, but I can totally understand someone else having different views and so they should. I am sorry that I have veered off course because the OP was, I suppose about fatalities on the road. I just wanted to possibly explain an alternative side and view. I have to say, I just love the fact that we are on GN such a diverse lot and have such varying views. I say, as long as it doesn't get personal keep it up girls.[and boys.]

Positive it must be truly devastating to loose a loved one in a violent way, especially when it's someone young with the prospect of a good life before them .
Personally, I am in favour of roadside memorials. They are touching reminders of a life cruelly shortened - for whatever reason, through whoevers fault - and causes passers by to remember too.
I wrote the OP having passed on the way home what I thought to be fly tipping (another grouse of mine which never fails to raise my hackles) draped around and up a tree only to realise as I passed that it was a memorial for a traffic accident. But no actual flowers could be seen - just the tatty wrappings. They needn't have bothered with the flowers at all - just screw up some paper and cellophane and leave that there!

(These people who deprive kites and crows of their dinners - do they bury toads too? We used to have a lot of squished toads around here - they're dying out now though) (this is a joke - they don't really - do they?)

positivepam
I understand what roadside memorials mean to the bereaved. They have gone to a shop, chosen their flowers with love, gone to their chosen spot and laid their offering there in pain and sorrow. So they don't think to remove the cellophane. Other people will just have to live with that - compared to their enduring pain and loss feelings about a bit of cellophane hardly matters does it?

You may be right Aka, they're probably the same people who throw empty coke cans from their car windows believing they vanish into thin air. (Sorry - the rubbish state of our roads is a bit of a soap box for me)

I don't think they are necessarily the same people, nfk . Aka described thoughtful people.

I have never deliberately dropped litter in my life and I am annoyed by those who do. However I would not describe those who go to the trouble and expense of leaving flowers as litter louts.

I think that's a horrible thing so say nfk.

At the end of the road where my grandsons live there is a roadside memorial. A young man rode his motor cycle one night into a tree.

I have to admit that at first I hated it being there. I was worried it would be upsetting for the boys to have to pass it each time they went to school, and, of course, there were the inevitable questions. I felt it was unfair for other people to impose their grief on my grandsons. And (shamefully) I felt less sympathy than I should because speeding, danger to others, and careless youth, came into my mind. But looking back, the boys were totally unconcerned. It was just me being over-precious. It is still there several years on and it does get renewed, very ocassionally. Perhaps the family have moved away and have to make a special journey. I don't know.

I have mixed feelings about these memorials. I think a few flowers soon after the event - no cellophane - is reasonable. But I do agree that a continuing memorial may serve as a warning to others.

Also a silly assumption to make, since I expect there is absolutely no evidence to support such an idea.

I'm a litter hater too, but I don't think wild accusations help anyone with anything.

There is another of these memorials on the way to my daughter's house. It has the football scarves/flags/badges, and cellophane. I think that is going too far.

I can see where Nfk is coming from. Some people do seem to have no inborn awareness of the unsightliness of some old discarded things.

I'm not a fan of these memorials - locally a post was festooned with them and nearly caused an accident as it covered yellow strips - the Highways people do not like them at all for several reasons. Firstly they do often cover traffic signs and of course as the wrappings and teddies crumble it goes all over the road and roadside.
There was a very good drama about a couple whose lawn was covered in memorials as there had been an accident outside their home.