To object to inane 'banter' on serious threads?

There are many things that put people off posting. Humour, even inane humour, is quite low on the list. I know who what puts me off!

MargaretX You have written exactly what I wanted to say to GreatnanI also object to inane banter on serious topics.I usually stop posting on such a thread.It's a pity if it does put people off posting-especially new members.They might have something profound to add.

To answer your question Greatnan I don't think you are being unreasonable to object to inane banter on serious threads. I object to it as well.
Perhaps it is because we live in Southern Europe? Here people are not afraid to be serious about serious subjects. As to putting people off posting it definitely does. I admire you how you keep on posting, I have almost given up.

nanban spot on!

I think that sometimes people do trivialise a thread and sometimes it's on purpose as a way of undermining it & sometimes because they just don't 'get it' or because they are not in the mood for serious stuff ! I can forgive the second two but deliberate disruption is unnecessary and a bit unkind. I take a deep breath and try my best to ignore...but not always easy!!.

nanban, agreed, and well put.

I like your style, Nanban...you make good sense.

That's a whole other can of worms - an apology unasked for, freely given is a lovely gesture. An apology on demand - worthless on the one hand, and on the other - actually there is no other - and perhaps you/we/one just has to accept that the other person views things differently and is perhaps not wrong, or so entrenched doesn't see they are wrong.

Like gracemum I've only just read all this as I've had a very busy week. I haven't seen the 'offensive' thread but would suggest that sometimes when a thread has gone on for a long time a bit of levity is appreciated and perhaps brings it to an end when all has already been said. this might be especially true on a thread which has caused some conflict.

I agree that we are all different and should be more tolerant of the way others choose to post.

Two things tend to annoy me, firstly when a new poster brings up a subject which has been previously addressed and is admonished for doing so and the second is what Tegan has said, when people won't apologise. I have asked for apologies when people have blatantly misrepresented what I have said but they have not materialised. I have noted that the posters are on other threads so it is not that they have missed my request, it is simply that they are ignoring it and clearly not prepared to admit they were wrong.

Coming late to this I am not at all clear what has led to it and do not want to stir anything further, but if I had posted something close to my heart and found it treated with no more than levity I would retire hurt and feeling rejected. On the other hand, "gallows humour" can often defuse a situation which is hard to take. If neither of these contexts fits what has been going on I apologise and will just keep my counsel.

Oh look, a couple of typos. What does that tell me about that particular memory I wonder?

Re. inappropriate humour, I can think of a number of occasions when I was in agony trying not to laugh at the wrong time.

One was when my SIL was telling me how a few years previously her father had plunged down from some scaffolding he was working on 'right on to his head'.

Another when my brother and I as young children were sitting being told off by my father who was in a rage. He was walking between the two of us giving us a slap every nopw and then and at one point said 'if you do it again you'll end up black and blue' except that he said blap' instead of 'black'. Struggled against it but couldn't helpl bursting out laughing eventually which didn't help matters much.

Another time in a church.

Bags - I am sure you know that my humour is not only confined to jokes although it does tend to be ironic. I don't like slapstick.
I don't think there is much more I can say on this thread - I made my point, some people agreed, some disagreed, and I have said that I will in future just ignore any posts that are not germane to the thread. I can do no more!

Methinks this forum has degenerated into inane banter ladies. I must go read my Guardian.

Well put Bags - I'm not sure either exactly what constitutes inane banter, since humour and wit are usually clever too.
Unless the thread is really tragic, I don't think humour is inappropriate.
I have sat through quite a lot of after-dinner speeches in my time and the best ones combine humour with a serious message.
I dread people telling me jokes because I frequently don't 'get' them

Perhaps not everyone compartmentalises their humorous streak as you do, greatnan? I don't think I do. I can see humour even in annoying things quite often. In a way, I think I often prefer accidental humour to what might be called set jokes.

And then there is always Taking The Piss, which I regard as a healthy way to cope with troubling things. Not always, but pretty often. I include laughing at/mocking myself when taking the piss, depending on the situation.

And I think one just has to accept that some people are frequently inane. Accept and move on.

I think, as well, it's really important for people to say sorry if they feel they've misjudged the tone of the thread rather than go on the defensive [especially important with us not having an edit facility; something that still concerns me about gransnet as I sometimes question why we can't have one?]

It would be nice if those who love humour would do as I do - find some joke sites and put them onto Just Jokes. With a few honourable exceptions, I seem to be doing all the work! And there's me, with no sense of humour!

I am quite sure that most members are perfectly capable of knowing when a post is adding something positive to a debate.

Ana

But, who decides?

Ana

By 'definition of inane' I mean, of course, in relation to the banter. I don't need a referral to the OED!

Is there a rule about it?

Surely it depends on one's definition of 'inane'?

My opinion is that inane banter on a serious thread is, well, inane (and generally not very funny either).