Gransnet forums


to expect car salesman to keep sexist opinions to himself

(20 Posts)
shysal Tue 23-Apr-13 11:53:13

I am fuming, turned into a dragon this morning. I took my car to be serviced and was in the waiting area when one of the salesmen came to use the coffee machine. He then proceeded to speak disparagingly about the driving of a client's wife, and to make sexist comments about his own wife and women in general. This was aimed at a man also waiting for his car. I couldn't resist putting him in his place although I am normally shy and placid. When the male customer was replaced by a young blonde woman with a dog, it was as if he flipped a switch and proceeded to gush about dogs!
I am afraid I put in a complaint which will be relayed to the manager (hope he isn't the manager!).
The complete opposite also occurred. The young man who has sold me my last 3 cars recognised my voice and came to the desk to say hello, remembering my name as usual. He is so pleasant and respectful, and made no attempt to sell me anything! He is the reason I stay with the same company.

glammanana Tue 23-Apr-13 12:03:37

He sounds like the sexist plank who tried to sell mr.glamma my sports car he told me I would be the envy of the neighbours being driven around by my hubby ( who am I the little wifey)? after I told him the car was for me we left and went to another dealer where I got a better deal anyway,his loss I think.

whenim64 Tue 23-Apr-13 12:06:24

Good for you shysal! The sexism displayed by so many men seems to be growing again. When I took my car in for its service recently, the young man who came for my keys was soooo patronising, but changed his behaviour when speaking to a male customer. I complained, and when they emailed an after-service questionnaire, I complained again.

Grannyeggs Tue 23-Apr-13 12:06:26

Well done shysal , it's important to be a dragon at times like that, and it was right to make a complaint, that kind of sexism in the work place mustn't be seen as normal behaviour .

BAnanas Tue 23-Apr-13 13:12:27

Remember booking a holiday to America a few years ago with a male travel agent, remember those not too many travel agencies around these days. My husband was trying to factor in some golf, and the travel agent thought I should be compensated by being near a shopping mall, because being a woman that's what we do of course! I like shopping, but in small bursts I don't want the sort of wall to wall shopping experience you get in American Malls, especially on holiday I'd much rather immerse myself in history or something I am not likely to see at home so that wont be shops! I hate being pigeonholed it drives me nuts!

ginny Tue 23-Apr-13 15:00:29

BAnanas that is one of my pet hates too. We often go on organised tours and you can bet your life we will be told there is plenty of 'shopping for the ladies' a few times. I hate shopping and like you, I go on holiday to do different things.

When we bought our last touring caravan, I had to remind the salesman that WE were buying the van not just my husband.

BAnanas Tue 23-Apr-13 15:16:57

I know what you mean ginny I hate "ladies" being used in that sort of context it's kind of patronising. Don't expect that's the intention of those who express the sentiment that being female we can only relate to certain things, but it's expressed in such a way, it's as if we haven't moved on from the delicate feeble ladies of a bygone era who constantly needed reviving with smelling salts!

annodomini Tue 23-Apr-13 15:59:47

Perhaps these salesMEN have to pass a test on how to be really patronising. grin

marigold1 Tue 23-Apr-13 16:23:26

I know of a few salesMEN who would pass the patronising test with flying colours, brings to mind when Mr M and I were looking for a car for me, I showed an interest in a "Small" car, just a passing interest, when Mr Patronising sweeps along, gushing what a perfect car for a woman driver................ red mist time, I looked him straight in the eye, ( he was about 5' 5" and told him he had just lost a sale, really made my day!!

ninathenana Tue 23-Apr-13 17:20:10

When I bought my last car about 7 yrs ago, we got back from the test drive and as I parked up the salesman commented how surprised he was at my confident driving.
Seems he thought driving with a 50+ female would put the fear of God into him!!

Nanban Tue 23-Apr-13 21:16:09

Neighbours came around for the year's first bbq and after a glass or two The Husband came up with 'you ladies do like a man you can mother and organise' - he left with all his teeth intact but only because he didn't add 'little'! What a plank!

Galen Tue 23-Apr-13 22:06:03

I very rarely find myself being patronised by a man! In fact I have been told that I'm 'quite scary' I don't know why. The only reason I can think is that I am tall, on the large side (imagine a galleon bearing down on you under full sail with crutches and you might get the picture )
In actual fact I'm quite shy. I obviously disguise it welldragon

Mishap Tue 23-Apr-13 22:19:00

I can identify with this. We always register cars in my name - don't know why - just a habit! But the last car salesman we had spent a lot of time making jokey comments about "the wife" and did a bit of a double-take when we said the car we were exchanging was in my name and that I would sign all the papers referring to that and the new car.

He also hated the fact that I haggled over the price and the px offer, after doing my research on the net.

Is this kind of attititude bred into car salesmen in particular?

Sel Tue 23-Apr-13 22:30:23

Galen I can identify with that being tall although I'm going for racing yacht rather than galleon smile. I really can't recall being patronised by men since the 70s.

Ana Tue 23-Apr-13 22:34:10

Sel, I'm sure no man would dare to patronise you! wink

Sel Tue 23-Apr-13 23:12:45

Ana I'm taking that as a compliment grin

Reddevil3 Wed 24-Apr-13 11:52:17

A long time ago, in the 80's, newly and very happily divorced, I was getting quotes (ballpark) for replacement windows. I had measured one particular one as an example, but 1) the salesman insisted that one of their people came to check my measurements and 2) I had to make sure my husband was there when the man came so that he could agree to the work!
At that point I told him very politely that he had just lost a sale! angry

Stansgran Wed 24-Apr-13 12:01:52

That happened with me over a kitchen and the salesWOMAN wanted my husband to be there to sign the agreement .i asked her who she thought budgeted the accounts in my home and said goodbye w ith out giving her a chance to retract.

Nonu Wed 24-Apr-13 12:15:00

I am of the same mind as SEL , I cannot recall being patronised by any man.

perhaps i don"t look for things that are not really there .


JessM Wed 24-Apr-13 12:47:55

My SIL has a house letting agent that, having expressed doubt about her ability to reverse up the drive, gave her advice on how to clean the floor.