Grandson Won't Talk To Us

Why isn't he allowed to watch television?

No I don't understand it either! Thats why I have been moved to write on here. Ok, when I pick him up from school he usually just runs off with his friends without saying hello to me. Sometimes he says "not you again" when he sees me. On the way home in the car I will ask him questions but he doesn't always answer me. He's not allowed to watch television during the week so when we get home I will read to him or sometimes we make cakes, he will engage with me then. When my son comes home from work he just wants to be with daddy which is understandable as he does not see him every day. When my husband comes home from work and says Hello xxxx how are you today he is met with silence. When he goes to bed and we say goodnight we do not get any response. In the morning its the same with no response from him to our good morning how are you today sort of questions. He then goes off to school without a goodbye. Its all very strange and I just wondered if anyone else out there had come across the same thing? Thanks everyone for your input, its much appreciated.

kittylester Oh no! - that's when you want the ground to open up and swallow you

GA, DS2 hated going to parties and, when invites came, he was always given the choice of saying yes or no. Having made a choice he had to stand by it. He threw a 'wobbly' about one party but I took him anyway. When I collected him I asked 'And what do you say?'. His reply was 'I didn't want to come anyway!'

mistrel If he is generally sociable and polite with other people, I really don't understand this at all. Do you have any views as to why he behaves like this with you?

What happens when you pick him up from school? Does he say hello then? What happens if you ask him if he's had a good day at school? (or, as Jess suggested, whether he'd like an ice cream ).

I don't understand how this works. You pick him up from school and he is silent? He stays at your house and he talks to his dad but not to you? Ever?
What happens if you say "Would you like some ice-cream?"?

My youngest son was very reserved with other people (still is in fact). I used to get slightly irritated when people wanted him to meet their expectations instead of accepting him as he was. He was always polite, but found it very difficult to join in conversation. Good manners; saying hello and goodbye, thank you for having me etc. were non-negotiable however.

As Eloethan says, is he like this with everyone other than his parents? If he is 5 he must have started school, what is he like at school? Has the school raised any concerns? Could he be autistic or have other spectrum disorders that cause communication problems?

He's not at all shy and he is not like this with everyone else. His teachers say how polite he is and he always seems to speak nicely to them. I pick him up from school once a week and we see him every other weekend when he stays at our house with our son. I see my friends having loving relationships with their grandchildren, kisses and cuddles etc. and I wonder why I can't have that with my own. Its just very hurtful but perhaps I just have to learn to live with it and not stress about it too much. The sad thing is that he is moving away with his mother and her new partner very soon so we will not get to see him as much and I wonder whether I will ever have a typical grandma/grandson relationship with him.

He's only 5 - some children are very shy at that age. Do you see him regularly and is he used to being with other people? What do his parents mean "it's just the way he is?" - the way he is with everybody? If so, although it must be very hurtful to you, hopefully it's something he'll grow out of.

It does seem that his parents could gently ask him to say hello/goodbye to grandma and grandpa, but it's probably not worth risking having an argument about it.

He has always been the same.

Is this a recent change in behaviour? Or has he always been this way?