To have got a bit cross and shouty...

Thanks, LizG, bit unfortunately no! She did put an alarm on outside her room. Good. But when it rang she got up, switched it off, and went back to bed. Not good. So she was still asleep at 0745, fifteen minutes before she had to scarper down the hill for the school bus.

Afterwaking her, I emphatically suggested that a better idea would be to carry on to the bathroom after switching the alarm off and do wakey uppy things like cleaning her teeth and splashing water on her face. Blank look from her.

It'll be the wet sponge tomorrow and if that doesn't work I reckon I'll just have to let her be late, waste her money on bus fares, and get into trouble at school.

This is the twelve year old who says "I'm not a child!" Aye, right!

vegas a dachshund puppy - how fantastic! Lots of fun ahead when this little one comes to stay

Galen hope your visitors were not too stressful and vegasmags enjoy your GS's stay

Thank you LizG

That sounds perfect vegasmags have a lovely time with your DGS. Hope things have improved today thatbags

galen and nightowl - I am up with the larks today preparing for a visit from my DGS, who is coming to stay for a few days without mum and dad, who will be collecting him next weekend. He is 9, and is apparently dying to show me how he has learned to make a cup of tea - a very valuable skill in this house. I need to have a day of baking and cooking and getting things put in the freezer, so that we can have lots of fun without worrying about domestic stuff. I also have to get the spare room in some order as a young friend of mine who is getting married next April and has sold his flat very quickly so that he and his fiancé can start house hunting, is coming to stay for a few weeks to avoid having to rent somewhere. I have also heard that the dachshund puppy I have been hoping for has been born and will be ready at the end of October/beginning of November. So there will be lots of noise and mess in the next few weeks - and I am really looking forward to it

I rather miss my son's Ukrainian ex. She was brought up to look after the "old" people and was always washing floors and tidying up.

Vegas I'm in the same situation, except that this weekend I have a very rare visit from DD and DGD age two!
DD is obsessive about sell by dates , hygiene, diet and vegetarianism!
I'm stressed!

vegas so sorry, it must be hard to listen to us complaining when you would give anything to have some life back in your home. I guess that's the way of things, we don't know what we have until it's gone

Wish there was an edit button on here - I would like to correct those glaring errors I've just spotted.

For six years, both of our sons were independent, and I didn't think that either would be returning to live with us. It was great!!!

DS2 (the untidy one) was first to come back, supposedly only for a couple of months, but it turned into over three years. While everyone assumed that I would be over the moon at having him home, the truth was that I dreaded it. And it turned out to be just as bad as I was imagining. Meanwhile, DS1's marriage broke down so he also returned home for nearly a year.

Now we are alone again, and long may it stay that way. Does that make me sound like a terrible mother?

Actually, I consider myself really fortunate - both sons have great partners and live only a few miles away. And we now have two DGCs to dote on too. We have our home - and sanity back - but are 'closer' to our sons than we could ever have hoped.

I remember many years ago when I was complaining about my teenagers , my darling elderly neighbour said , "DON"t worry dear they will in years to come have their own teenagers , and will come to you complaining about the youth of today !

gally what a relief to realise that someone else has a DD like mine. I cringe when I go, not often I admit as they live 300miles away. I am a very tidy being and have to bite my tongue and as you say she certainly does not follow my example. Is there a moral there? The sink and draining board in particular make me shudder.

When I complained about my teenaged children, a very wise and older friend of mine said this: Before you know it, they'll be off and gone, and then you'll have the rest of your life to sit in a palace, if that's what you want. How very true. I now live alone, and the house is clean and tidy, but also sterile, without the mess and noise of my family. You people who are complaining about the shortcomings of your husbands and children should maybe think about how you would miss them!

Mine does. The number of times I've spotted him wearing one navy and one dark grey sock....mind you, I think he's a bit colour-blind anyway.

I'm beginning to think that Mr P has a condition, bin allergy.

He's a good man in so many ways, (his bath robe has "Best Chap" embroidered on it) but although he brings me a cup of tea most mornings, I often find the teabag on the edge of the sink. He also has a bit of a thing about milk. I buy a new carton, the old one may still have enough in it for a few cups of tea/coffee, but no, the minute he sees a new carton, that's the one he has to use. Depending on the supplier, there is either a plastic strip thing that you pull off from the rim of the cap, or a pull back white thing under the cap. Whichever, it is always left on the work surface.

I also refuse to gather his washing. We have a perfectly functional wicker basket in the bedroom, but he seems to prefer the floor, then wonders why his clothes seem to be covered in cat hair

When I am preparing to do a load, I place a plastic basket on the landing and ask him to put in whatever he wants washed. The number of odd socks that I find at the end of my laundry time is pretty impressive!

I have a secret place that I keep them in until they can be reunited with their matches! If I didn't, I'm sure he would adopt a "near enough" attitude.

Sorry. Mispelled your name!

She'll have succeeded because of your good grounding, mamcaz. It went in even though he resisted it. Well done!

DS1 was always quite tidy. DS2 was the opposite. He was bad, really bad.
It was a relief when he went off to uni, but when he came back home to live at age 24 he was even worse, if that was humanly possible. He was still stroppy like a teenager, too. There were some horrendous rows.
Then he met the girl who is now his partner. 18 months ago (age 28) he moved in with her, and overnight he became a different person. He cooks, he cleans - totally domesticated. I don't know how she's done it, but she's certainly done a good job on him!

DD1 was always an untidy child - really untidy and she hasn't improved. She and her DH live in a very small house with 2 small children but it is like entering student accommodation. They are inveterate hoarders of anything and everything - mostly useless or broken, there is 'stuff' everywhere - piles of clothes both clean and unclean, washing up teetering on the draining board, piles of papers and thousands of books. I don't imagine they will change now. It isn't as if she was brought up like that (she says huffily)

kitty lester, that bugs me too !

Ella I used the same method to get my youngest son out of bed in the mornings.

I know what you mean, bags

Going back to finocchio's remark, which I know was said lightheartedly , I don't think real tantrums usually have reasonableness on their side. I did .

And when I said shouty, I only mean slightly louder than usual but a whole lot more forcefully – what might be called, jokingly, as a "takes no prisoners" voice.

I gave up on my DDs bedrooms! i did not enter them for a period of time..just let them fester! They grew out of it!

Their homes now are lovely!