Car/friends, the latest! (Cross warning!)

[speechless]emoticon

I have missed the beginning of this, where is it please?.

Thank you all.

Well, she has just phoned, all bright and breezy and telling even more lies!

The radio? Well, B, couldn't get it out, the SIL had a go, they even asked the mechanic in the village, but no-one could get it out. Odd that, seeing as Mr P and I took it out of my previous car to put in the Suzuki. We must just be exceptionally talented in that way, perhaps we should consider a change of career. Plus when B phoned me last night and I asked if they had taken the radio out, he said "radio?" in a puzzled sort of way.

The insurers? Well, they rang them, were passed from pillar to post, you know the way these things are, eventually spoke to someone who said it was all in hand and being processed. Strange, only last week J was telling me how good they are, you always get to deal with the same person......

The plate? Last night B told me that they had the documents confirming that it was now on a retention certificate. Well, actually no, they have had the documents to sign, had to send them off with a cheque, you know how long these things take..........

Of course, if it hadn't been a private plate it would all have been done so much quicker, and aren't we lucky that they insured it fully comp?

There is one hell of a lot that I would like to say to her, but I will have to wait until I get the money................

I agree - get that list of adjectives written down, disappointed, upset etc and also "I am really skint and I need the money immediately please" Don't accuse and blame, just stick to how you feel and what you need.

Oh Dear! It reminds me of a story a lay preacher used to tell the kids in assembly at school. It was about telling a lie and how the lie got worse the longer you left it and made you tell more lies. As he told the story he tied himself up in a long piece of rope until he was not able to move any more. He then told the truth & because of the way he had wound the rope round himself he was able to let go of one piece and it just fell off!

phoenix J needs to just tell the truth, apologise profusely for making a bad situation worse and at least buy you a bunch of flowers! it won't change the bottomline but you will feel respected a bit more!

I am fairly new to the forum but I have been following your story. I am astonished at the way you have been treated and I would not be able to think of these people as friends. To my mind friends would be considerate and understanding which seems not to be the case here.

There have been a couple of occasions at least when I have forgiven a friend for something huge because I valued the friendship enough to want to keep it.

I can't believe how patient you have been phoenix and how you have repeatedly given your friends the benefit of the doubt, in spite of evidence that they have lied.

Perhaps you are hoping to be able to keep the friendship going in spite of it all which must mean you get enough out of it to make it worthwhile putting up with the hassle, in which case good luck, it's up to you.

'More in sorrow than in anger', phoenix? You might take the line of 'how disappointed I am that you've taken advantage of my friendship...'

I think you have been amazingly patient with these people. Are you sure you can trust them to transfer the plate back to you. They may just sell and pocket the money.

I would not want anything to do with them once everything is sorted out. They are definitely NOT friends.

Good idea, but may have to wait until I can trust myself NOT to lose it completely!

Good advice - do you need help with the adjectives phoenix [innocent] emoticon

Much better, Jane

I would deviate sliughtly from your advice Elegran, rather than phoenix telling J what she thinks of her(which would make J defensive/aggressive), she should tell J exactly how J has made her feel (I'm sure you can think of at least 20 adjectives, P) which just might make J feel guilty and remorseful enough to do something.

Say that to J. Then tell her what you think of her for treating you like this. She is taking advantage of you not wanting to upset B. Emphasise that it is not the accident that bothers you, it is everything since.

Problem is that I don't want upset B, he really hasn't been the same since his stroke, feels he is useless etc. J I could cheerfully throttle!

Agree Elegran. Being too polite doesn't always work!

That could be a good thing, Phoenix. You have been very forbearing, probably too much so. A glimpse of how angry you are inside might not go amiss.

I wouldn't trust myself to behave at the moment!

I would go round there and ask them to put the phone on speak while they make the call.

Morning all

Thanks for the support, it is much appreciated.

Apparently they have the document to show that the reg. number is held on a retention certificate, so I will be asking them to have that transferred into my name asap. As this will probably involve them having to pay a fee to the DVLA, I'm not going to hold my breath!

I'm going to speak to DS later to get some advice on the best place to advertise the number plate.

B & J are both on a day off today, and apparently plan to chase up their insurers. I have asked them to phone me once they have.

No call so far, how surprising!

Phoenix- I've caught up with this sorry tale over my morning cup of tea. I do hope you're enjoying your morning drink of choice (too early for wine, or I'd send some) . What a dreadful, sorry mess. True friendships grow out of trust and how can you ever trust these two again? I like the idea of a gransnet gang going round to pick the cheque up on your behalf (jessM 13.21). As for knowing the things we can change - the one that I've tried to work on is the way I respond to things. I now accept that no matter how 'good' I am, it won't stop bad stuff happening, but I focus on the way I respond to that stuff. I do hope this saga is soon resolved on the money front, the emotional impact will take a bit longer I expect.

It's a bit early phoenix but I'm sending you [wine:] just so you have some available.

I've always believed that if something goes wrong, and it's your fault you do your utmost to sort it out as quickly as possible. Never mind being able to sleep at night - I would be feeling so guilty I'd hardly be able to breathe!

Although we are down to one car since DH retired I have always avoided asking to borrow my daughter's or my son in law's because I know they really need them and I wouldn't want to risk damaging either of them. (Especially her's which is nearly new!)