Gransnet forums


Car/friends, the latest! (Cross warning!)

(69 Posts)
Anne58 Tue 01-Oct-13 18:36:16

Evening all,

Phoned the friends (B&J) yesterday, as I still haven't been given any idea as to when I can expect to get the money. No reply, so I left a somewhat "brief" message on their machine.

Just had a call from him, which is unusual as it's normally J who rings me, I expect she was busy hmm They are still waiting for the cheque. Mentioned that I had been given the impression that once the insurers received the go ahead, there would be a cheque in the post the next day. Errm, no, the paperwork was sent out the next day, which B & J dealt with and then took into the local branch. From where it was sent to Bristol (WHY, FFS?). Bristol have confirmed receipt. (Oh whoopy bloody doo!)

So, B & J STILL haven't received the cheque, which means of course that they haven't banked it, it hasn't cleared, therefore they cannot transfer to me, etc etc.

Biting my tongue, I asked B if the car was still there. No. Asked him if he had managed to take the radio/Cd player out. Stunned silence. I had asked J on at least 4 occasions to take it out. At one point she said that B had tried but couldn't do it, but was going to ask their SIL to help. B's reaction indicated that he knew nothing about my request, so yet more lies from J.

I then asked if they had removed the rear number plate as I wanted to photograph it for the listing when I sell it. No. Again this is something that I asked J to do. (The plate valuation was surprisingly high, although I do appreciate that it is only worth what someone will actually pay, however my mechanic and I ran it through various sites together last week, and it's about 3 mortgage payments! shock )

I am so very upset at all the lies, there is no need for it, I am a reasonable person, I appreciate that what happened to the car can't be undone, but lying to me is just adding insult to injury.


Sorry for long rant, thanks for reading.

whenim64 Tue 01-Oct-13 18:45:10

Oh, Phoenix I can't believe how badly this has gone. I guess it would be easier to bear if they were apologising profusely. Can your own insurance company put the wind up them? When someone backed into my parked car and ruined it, then messed about sorting out payment transfers, Direct Line leaned on them for me until it was completed. I didn't ask them to - they realised I was in difficulty and took charge. I hope it's resolved soon.

Anne58 Tue 01-Oct-13 19:17:18

No, when the contract is between them and their insurers.

JessM Tue 01-Oct-13 19:18:09

ow phoenix. Don't think the friendship can survive this can it.
Whither the registration document - do you still have it?

Agus Tue 01-Oct-13 19:41:18

Phoenix, I really don't understand people like this nor how they can sleep at night.

If I was in their situation I would be falling over myself with apologies and rectifying the matter whilst keeping you informed step by step without any phone call from you.

To upset you in any way is bad enough but to add insult to injury by telling you lies, I'm sorry, but that is not the way a true friend behaves.

I suppose it takes all types but I could not forgive a friend treating me like this.

Hope for your sake that it is all settled very soon.

Ariadne Tue 01-Oct-13 19:56:19


Anne58 Tue 01-Oct-13 19:58:34

Thanks Agus I just hope that we can still be "friends" after all this, but it will never be the same!

JessM the new document confirming that the registration is held on a retention certificate is in B & J's name. When I lent them the car, it seemed to be easier all round to put the V5 into their name. This has actually turned out to be a bit of a blessing in disguise, as they insured the car fully comp, so were able to claim on their insurance. (Which I had to tell them to do, heaven knows how much longer the car would have sat on their drive going nowhere, both literally and figuratively)

Once I have actually got the money transferred into my account, I will push them to transfer the retention certificate to me. Don't care if it costs them money, not my problem. Then I will advertise the plate.

W90 KAT, any offers?

MR P and I have just been discussing the whole thing over dinner/supper whatever. He is the most mild mannered chap, too laid back for his own good at times, but he is not at all happy about this, mainly because of all the completely unnecessary lies.

Hebs Tue 01-Oct-13 20:04:57

phoenix please don't think I am intruding in your life, but, I, being a total outsider see this perhaps differently to you, If you read all of this in a newspaper you would think, like I do, and some others may do, That these people are "ripping you off" Its terrible that so called friends can put you through, and lie to you as they have. Stop being so nice and do every thing you can to get your car back into your possession.

Agus Tue 01-Oct-13 20:10:09

Probably won't be the same sadly but you are not to blame for spoiling the friendship. You were being a very good friend and tried to help them.

Anne58 Tue 01-Oct-13 20:11:48

Too late, hebridean the car has been collected from their drive by whoever their insurers appointed.

Ariadne , thanks, I think you know how much of a problem it is at present! I could have sold that damn radio/cd player! B did say that he had a spare car radio I could have, but it's hardly the bloody point, is it!

Aka Tue 01-Oct-13 20:53:35

I wouldn't believe a word they say ... and that includes the cheque, which presumably is made payable to them?

Aka Tue 01-Oct-13 20:54:42

But then, I have a nasty suspicious mind when it comes to people like that hmm

Ana Tue 01-Oct-13 21:03:13

I'm concerned about the number plate. If B said it was still on the car when they took it away, how will you get it back? confused They are not friends to treat you like this! angry

gracesmum Tue 01-Oct-13 21:07:59

Some thing just beggar belief! I am shocked and horrified at the way you have been treated by people who clearly have no conscience at all about taking advantage of you, screwing you and then screwing you again. It makes no difference that you could do with the money right now it is the principle, but if I knew friends were in a situation like yours, I would put their needs a long way before my own. No, the friendship cannot survive this. sad

JessM Tue 01-Oct-13 21:44:54

makes you want to "send the grans round" dunnit gracesmum.
Failing us turning up en masse on their doorstep do you have any large imposing friends, preferably in the police, phoenix?

glassortwo Tue 01-Oct-13 21:45:31

phoenix they have cast aside someone who has bent over backwards to help them through difficult times, you could not have been a better friend if you have tried, even though you were going through your own troubles. They have betrayed your trust and kindness, get back what is yours and draw a line. angry

Tegan Tue 01-Oct-13 22:01:04

Amazed by their behaviour. Even though I'm on the S.O's car insurance I never drive his car because I would be mortified if I damaged it in some way. I don't know how these people can sleep at night.

Anne58 Tue 01-Oct-13 22:43:23

Thank you all, your responses are appreciated. Unfortunately there seems to be nothing I can do to speed up the process.

Meanwhile, the financial situation here is not getting any better, to say the least!

(trying to be a bit Buddhist, stay calm and focus on the things that you can change)

PS If anyone can tell me which those are, I'd appreciate it!

Ooom mani pad me hom (or something like that)

Of course, I could always give up and have a glass of wine, .........if of course I had wine, of which to have a glass. (up yours, pedants! grin )

Aka Tue 01-Oct-13 22:49:52

I'll drink to that wine

Deedaa Tue 01-Oct-13 23:15:15

I've always believed that if something goes wrong, and it's your fault you do your utmost to sort it out as quickly as possible. Never mind being able to sleep at night - I would be feeling so guilty I'd hardly be able to breathe!

Although we are down to one car since DH retired I have always avoided asking to borrow my daughter's or my son in law's because I know they really need them and I wouldn't want to risk damaging either of them. (Especially her's which is nearly new!)

kittylester Wed 02-Oct-13 07:57:18

It's a bit early phoenix but I'm sending you [wine:]winewine just so you have some available.

Iam64 Wed 02-Oct-13 08:17:19

Phoenix- I've caught up with this sorry tale over my morning cup of tea. I do hope you're enjoying your morning drink of choice (too early for wine, or I'd send some) . What a dreadful, sorry mess. True friendships grow out of trust and how can you ever trust these two again? I like the idea of a gransnet gang going round to pick the cheque up on your behalf (jessM 13.21). As for knowing the things we can change - the one that I've tried to work on is the way I respond to things. I now accept that no matter how 'good' I am, it won't stop bad stuff happening, but I focus on the way I respond to that stuff. I do hope this saga is soon resolved on the money front, the emotional impact will take a bit longer I expect.

Anne58 Wed 02-Oct-13 12:12:22

Morning all

Thanks for the support, it is much appreciated.

Apparently they have the document to show that the reg. number is held on a retention certificate, so I will be asking them to have that transferred into my name asap. As this will probably involve them having to pay a fee to the DVLA, I'm not going to hold my breath!

I'm going to speak to DS later to get some advice on the best place to advertise the number plate.

B & J are both on a day off today, and apparently plan to chase up their insurers. I have asked them to phone me once they have.

No call so far, how surprising! hmm

Bez Wed 02-Oct-13 13:10:12

I would go round there and ask them to put the phone on speak while they make the call.

Anne58 Wed 02-Oct-13 13:13:43

I wouldn't trust myself to behave at the moment!