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My usless SiL !!!!!

(46 Posts)
ninathenana Tue 08-Oct-13 10:54:12

DGS had his procedure done in London on Saturday and was sent home that evening. Sunday afternoon he was in distress and was rushed to local A&E by ambulance. Despite being a cardiac baby and having arrived by ambulance DD waited in A&E for 2hrs ( but that's another story).
I have had older DGS over since Friday afternoon. SiL collected him last night and is day off today and tomorrow so was due to take him to school. He has rung the school and told them child is sick. To say I'm fuming at the waste of space that is SiL is an understatement.
I do more than my fair share of child care but now DD has asked if I will be responsible for getting DGS to school and collecting whilst she is staying at hospital. Aaaaahhhgggggg!!!!!!

Iam64 Wed 09-Oct-13 18:55:59

LizG - apologies,I must have misunderstood. I agree, the written word doesn't always accurately reflect the feelings behind it.

LizG Wed 09-Oct-13 18:03:14

smile (((hugs)))

ninathenana Wed 09-Oct-13 17:56:15

LizG you have nothing to apologize for. But thanks anyway grin

Greatnan Wed 09-Oct-13 17:14:33

It looks as things might be improving for you Nina, and I am sure everybody here appreciates what you do for your family and understands why you are annoyed with your SIL.
LizG - I am sure Nina has not taken offence as your comments were kindly meant. I agree that sometimes things don't come out quite as you meant them.

LizG Wed 09-Oct-13 16:52:05

I am very sorry my comments caused upset, that is something you certainly do not any of you need at the moment. It just goes to show how thoughts when written down do not necessarily come across as intended. I am very pleased that your DD and DGS are coming home soon.

ninathenana Wed 09-Oct-13 16:29:09

Iam64 can I hire you as my spin doctor grin

Iam64 Wed 09-Oct-13 13:32:41

thanks for the update nina, that's good news.
Your response about being more than willing to help with child care,and doing so at least 3- 4 times a week sounds defensive. It was probably triggered by the comments LizG made about how willing she'd have been in similar circumstances. Perhaps she didn't read the whole thread, and hadn't realised your worry was about your sil not supporting his family properly at this time, and expecting you to do things the majority of father's in his position would be doing, willingly.

j08 Wed 09-Oct-13 11:31:34

You do sound like a lovely nanna.

j08 Wed 09-Oct-13 11:30:45

Hope all goes well with the little feller. smile

whenim64 Wed 09-Oct-13 11:09:58

That's good news, nina. You sound very busy already with the help you give. Let's hope he bucks his ideas up, otherwise, like in so many separated couples, he will find he isn't needed.

ninathenana Wed 09-Oct-13 10:58:50

Just to let you all know DD and DGS are coming home today with a care plan. They are on standby for the surgery in London.

Of course I'm more than willing to help with child care and do at least 3-4 times every week. It was the fact that SiL collected DGS from me and said he would take him to school the next day and then couldn't be bothered that annoyed me.

annodomini Wed 09-Oct-13 10:11:01

When DS2 was in hospital for 5 weeks at the age of just 2, I was in Birmingham with him for most of that time. When I had a cold, my H took over Meanwhile, DS1 was farmed out with various friends and fortunately the college where H worked had a creche. All GPs lived well away from us. I believe he was the real casualty of the situation although, being a fairly easy going child, he never seemed to begrudge the attention his brother was getting.

LizG Wed 09-Oct-13 09:53:06

Sorry, I meant to add flowers for you at this difficult time.

LizG Wed 09-Oct-13 09:51:31

It must be very worrying and upsetting for you all Nina and I do hope your DGS is recovering well now. Not knowing any of you personally, particularly your s.i.l I can only see it from how I would react. My DD3's two week old son had whooping cough and was put on a ventilator in the Bristol Children's hospital ( wonderful place). Both parents wanted and needed to be with him and although they took it in turns they had very little sleep for the time he was there.

I understand your worry would be for your DD but there is little we as grandparents can do in these dreadful situations other than support where necessary. Had my daughter had a second, older child then I should have been willing and even grateful to focus on him giving the parents time to put their efforts into the sick child. It would have helped to get me through my own worries. My DGS is now a happy and healthy toddling 18 monther I am pleased to say.

On a slightly lighter side and I hope you don't take this amiss, my daughter has a cat and during those dreadful weeks it was the best fed, loved, cuddled cat ever. It was let out regularly and talked to like a human. The cat and I remain friends still and I don't really 'do' cats.

Faye Wed 09-Oct-13 08:57:49

All adding to the stress of having a sick baby. I hope the baby is okay now nina and things have sorted themselves out. flowers

glassortwo Tue 08-Oct-13 23:11:00

nina sorry to hear the little one is back in hospital again, hope things settle down quickly for you all. flowers

ninathenana Tue 08-Oct-13 22:24:12

Iam64 Thank you for that

Iam64 Tue 08-Oct-13 18:12:47

Nina - sorry to hear about your worries. It sounds as though you feel your sil doesn't pull his weight, and expects others to do what he should be doing. You and your daughter have enough to worry about without having to step in to do something the children's father should be prioritising. Best wishes that the baby gets well soon, and that sil starts fulfilling his responsibilities to his children, and his wife.

j08 Tue 08-Oct-13 17:19:10

Perhaps been ignoring it for too longhmm

Never mind leave it


thatbags Tue 08-Oct-13 17:06:16

Couldn't you just ignore it?

thatbags Tue 08-Oct-13 17:05:57

Oh. Whoops, thatbags!

Gagagran Tue 08-Oct-13 16:56:15

Nil desperandum jings. Some of us knew what you meant. wink

j08 Tue 08-Oct-13 16:42:20

Oh I Wasn't thinking about the bawling them out thing

j08 Tue 08-Oct-13 16:41:10

No. I asked about walking. GN said "it is irrelevant etc"

Never mind

thatbags Tue 08-Oct-13 16:32:38

Er... whoops, jings. 'Twas I who commented on a comment of thine. #specialrelationship (you said that too) [tongue sticky out emoticon] smile