Hi everyone, I'm imposting on your site again I'm afraid.
As I've said before, I am a mummy not a grandma yet and not for a very long time as our little one is only 2!
As some of you may recall, we have had an awful time with my husbands parents and now don't have any contact with them. I won't bore you with the details, other than to assure you I am not one of the nasty DILs that some of you on here have the misfortune of having and my husband is perfectly lovely also! It was after a long period of trouble that my husband made the call to go no contact, after a month or so I persuaded him to give them another chance hoping they'd change their ways but it didn't happen and my husband decided he'd had enough once and for all and sadly I agreed with him. That was at the beginning of this year.
My husband has no qualms about this and nor do I really, other than to feel wholly saddened by the whole situation, my husband doesn't share this opinion.
I have a few situations I'd love your opinions on.
A) do we send a christmas card? We have no contact at all usually.
B) we are trying for a another baby. If were lucky enough to fall pregnant, do we tell them?
For me, it would feel wrong not to tell them if there were another baby on the way BUT, and it's a big but.... I find conflict with them extremely stressful. After a particularly horrible visit from them a year or so ago, I suffered an early miscarriage which could have been entirely unrelated but I'm very worried that if we tell them, a similar situation could arise again.
Also, we don't want them back in our lives at the moment. So is telling them giving them false hope that we're doing so to make amends? Will it mean we have all the stress and pain of having to cut ties again? If we don't tell them while I'm pregnant, do we tell them once the baby comes? Unfortunately, they won't be welcome to be involved with us in any way, so is it making things harder for them to know?
I really don't know what to do for the best?