Gransnet forums


to be annoyed with DH

(51 Posts)
MamaCaz Tue 12-Nov-13 17:41:12

I used to have a bowl that was specifically designed for making steamed puddings. It also had a lid, so I didn't have to fiddle about trying to tie greaseproof paper over it with bits of string before it went in the steamer. Apart from being very practical, it had been my grandma's, so it also had sentimental value.

One day when I wanted to use it, all that I could find in the cupboard was the lid. A mystery - until some time later I found it in DH's workshop, full of turps and dirty old paint brushes. Completely and permanently ruined. Grrrr - am I being unreasonable or not in being angry with him?

gracesmum Tue 12-Nov-13 17:45:43

The answer to that is always NO (What was the question? grin)
Typical man IMHO ! Have some cupcake and a glass of wine!

Elegran Tue 12-Nov-13 17:48:12

Perfectly reasonable to be angry, MamaCaz If you had used one of his perfectly maintained and sharpened chisels to open a stubborn tin of paint, and chipped and bent the end, what would he have said? And what would your grandma say to him if she could come back to give him a piece of her mind?

Is it really completely ruined? Could he redeem himself by cleaning off the paint, removing all trace and smell of turps and returing it to you almost pristine?

merlotgran Tue 12-Nov-13 17:53:00

Sounds like my DH, MamaCaz.

Are you sure it's ruined? You'd be amazed what I've had to rescue from the workshop and clean up.

I would find something he's particularly attached to and set fire to it use it as a door stop! grin

Tegan Tue 12-Nov-13 17:53:09

Why couldn't he have used a jam jar like wot I do? I thought that's what empty jam jars were for confused.

MamaCaz Tue 12-Nov-13 17:54:20

Oh yes, believe me, totally ruined. By the time I found it, large parts of it were covered with several coats of very well-dried-on paint plus several other unidentifiable substances!

Elegran Tue 12-Nov-13 17:57:21

Even well-dried-on paint sometimes comes off when soaked in turps and then scraped (but don't scratch the surface)

MrsSB Tue 12-Nov-13 18:04:21

Definitely not unreasonable. I don't think I could use it for steamed puddings again however well it had been cleaned. Why do men do this sort of thing? Mine would do exactly the same.

Nonnie Tue 12-Nov-13 18:30:24

Very reasonable! Tell him how upset you are and how much sentimental value it had. Men will learn but we just have to make them understand how hurt we are.

HildaW Tue 12-Nov-13 18:40:34

MamaCaz....most definitely annoying.....however I can trump it....a neat little enamel dish that's really useful for small puddings that was used to soak owl pellets - so that he could separate out all the rodent bones!!!!.

Yes, OHs have a very strange idea of what they can help themselves to without so much as a 'please may I?'.

Penstemmon Tue 12-Nov-13 18:49:52

Wont a hot wash in a dishwasher save it?? but I would be cross too!

Penstemmon Tue 12-Nov-13 18:50:55

sorry Won't not Wont!!

ninathenana Tue 12-Nov-13 18:52:12

I read the op to DH, 'I wouldn't dream of doing anything like that' says he. 'No you wouldn't, because you value your life too much' says I.

To give him his due, he wouldn't.

BAnanas Tue 12-Nov-13 19:02:19

I'd be annoyed, I've got a few side plates the only items that remain from a dinner service that belonged to my grandma, they are very pretty. I think they are from the 1930s as they are very art deco, no one is allowed to use them. I can understand wanting to hang on to something like that MamaCaz.

Agus Tue 12-Nov-13 19:36:53

Angry is putting it mildly MamaCaz but I successfully cleaned a terracotta bowl, us by DH for the same purpose, thankfully not a precious piece but I liked it. Because it was only emulsion paint, I washed it a few times in very hot water and the paint peeled off.

Weed Tue 12-Nov-13 19:41:05

Couldn't resist first post too

All may not be lost have you (or has your DH) tried brushing in a paint stripper?
This should soften the paint enough to be able to wash it guarantees though....but worth a try Governor has used my chisels, screwdrivers for all manner of jobs they weren't designed for

Grannylin Tue 12-Nov-13 20:32:03

I searched everywhere for DGS's sandcastle bucket when he came to stay in the summer.Found it this week in the chicken house full of corn..and it wasn't DGS who had been using it shock

FlicketyB Tue 12-Nov-13 20:33:51

Nitromors MamaCaz will remove anything. It is used to get many layers of old paint of furniture and woodwork and any other substances on them. It would not damage a ceramic bowl. You can buy it in any DIY store. I would certainly give it a try before you throw the bowl away.

Flowerofthewest Tue 12-Nov-13 20:50:06

I would steam his favourite pudding in the said bowl and serve it up. Paint, turps and all.

Agus Tue 12-Nov-13 20:54:36

Welcome weed hope you enjoy Gransnet and look forward to your posts.

Deedaa Tue 12-Nov-13 21:06:07

I could list several saucepans, a bun tray and more than one attractive tea towel used to soak up overflowing drains!!!

MamaCaz Tue 12-Nov-13 21:35:48

I will have to own up now: I should really have named this thread, "... to still be annoyed with DH after 30 years".

Yes, that is about how long it is since DH committed this dreadful crime. blush

I regularly let him know how annoyed I still am. The most recent occasion was two days ago, when I was preparing a huge, typically English Sunday dinner for some Russian visitors, and wanted to make a steamed sponge for dessert. I know I can make a very passable "steamed" sponge in the microwave, but as I have said to DH umpteen times, why should I have to when I have had the perfect bowl to make the real thing?

To all of you who suggested ways of cleaning said bowl, I apologise for wasting your time, but believe me, it was well past cleaning when I finally found it.

Now, so you still think I am reasonable? I'm not sure - even I can see that 30 years is a long time to hold a grudge for something so trivial in the great scheme of things. Not that I have any intention of letting him of the hook yet grin

Gracesmum, I think you might want these back now you know how unreasonable I really am cupcake wine (Sorry, I did have a sip of the wine)

grannyactivist Tue 12-Nov-13 21:46:35

Wow MamaCaz - respect for remembering anything after thirty years! grin
But talk about 'nursing' a grudge; time to let it go I think.

gracesmum Wed 13-Nov-13 12:31:20

30 years is nithing MamaCaz. DH still reminds me of when I used his gold Parker 51 pen 40 something years ago to unscrew a curtain track - note: it didn't work - the pen got unscrewed and cost me a lot to repair .Because of that I have a lifelong reputation as a bodger whereas he has to go and get the special gizmo/gadget for any job that needs doing, that takes at least a day, by which time he has gone off the idea and we have a heap of useless gadgets and pay somebody else to do the DIY. Have another wineand cupcake you're worth it!!

gracesmum Wed 13-Nov-13 12:32:10

WHY can't my fingers sort out "O" and "i" on the keyboard?? You know what I mean. blush