To refuse to put up a friend again.

39 other GNetters like to join me on a trip to the Brussels Christmas Market???
Last time we were in Brussels it was a present to us from my sister-in law to both of us for our 60th birthdays. DH's family lived in Brussels for 4 years when he was about 7 or 8 till 12 (I think) and we had fun finding his old house and especially enjoyed the Tintin museum - you can tell how very culchered we are !!!

Thanks everyone, I have let DD read your posts and she feels vindicated in telling me to back off on providing accomodation. I do love entertaining especially cooking, my career was cut short at 52 just when my own little catering company was really taking off, and friends seem to love getting an invite to eat here. The last time my 'friend' was here I did a buffet for 40.

I had a similar situation with a relative who lives in the USA when she came to stay for a fortnight. She sounds just like your 'friend' Felice. Yet when my son was working over there he asked her if he could come and visit one weekend and she made it quite clear she was 'too busy' to have a guest staying for two nights.
She rang up only last week and said she'd be back in England in the Spring and was quite put out when I told her I wasn't able to put her up again as I was 'too busy' but I'd find her a nice hostelry instead. I suggest you do the same.

Gracesmum, if you want to visit the Christmas Market here in Brussels you would be made very welcome.

Felice I agree with Elegran she can self cater or be waited on in a hotel. I do not think that you should have the trauma of her staying with you again, expecting you to cater to every whim.

That was a kind act paying for the trip to Prague but this is the real world and you are nobody's skivvy, least of all hers.

Enough is enough I say! In your shoes I wouldn't even meet for coffee. Let her stew for a while. She sounds like the sort who doesn't take a hint. You might need to be blunt! She doesn't deserve your hospitality.

It sounds as though she makes a great friend but not a good houseguest. Keep the friendship on that basis and you will stay friends.

Is it possible that she is getting older and has a touch of personality change? Sometimes people can change with age.

Spending all that time sending for room service and paying everyone to put her wants first could have had its effects, too.

I think Elegran's suggestion is excellent. She may think she is a friend but such selfish behaviour is inexcusable. Living alone has made her self centred and perhaps there has been nobody to point out her selfishness. If you do enjoy her company by all means meet up but you are NOT a hotel!
(But if you'd like to email me your B&B rates I rather like the sound of the accommodation and facilities!! )

Hello Felice good friends are to be treasured and it's a shame someone you've known for such a long time doesn't realise this. I think it is extremely generous of you to be prepared to meet up with her for lunch or coffee and attempt diplomacy by putting her off next time, and not telling her how she made you feel.

Perhaps living alone for so long has made her selfish and unable to think of others. I certainly wouldn't have her to stay again. If you want to remain friends maybe the stress of having her to stay would do more harm than good to your relationship. to you for being such a good friend.

Well this is the strange thing, she has always under the hard shell had one of the kindest hearts ever, she bought me a 5 day trip to Prague when she retired just for being a friend, no strings attached nothing, the whole thing is upsetting me as I feel I have lost a beloved friend.

She sounds awful, felice, and doesn't deserve you as a friend.

I would be too busy to have her to stay again. Tell her she will be far more comfortable in a hotel with lots of staff to look after her, or in a self-catering apartment where she can do just as she likes. If she is perceptive enough to take that as a criticism of her attitude when she was under your roof, well, if the cap fits she can wear it.

If you enjoy her company, there is no need to fall out, just make sure you are not used as a free servant. Meet her for coffee or a meal, but don't take the trouble to provide them yourself, or to entertain her friends. If she wants to entertain, she can either do the work herself or pay for it.

There are givers and there are takers. This woman is a taker. No wonder she likes to visit you, a giver.