Actually is DD being unreasonable?

Thanks for the advice Soutra I have put aside the voddy already (and may well suggest that she has some mulled wine at the ready)

I will be slugging away and may even be embarrassing the parents at the 'tea' party - which might teach DD not to invite me at the same time as a group of toddlers!

She does have a separate room in which the little ones will not be playing in so yes there is scope to 'escape' as you suggest but as my 48 hour Xmas invitation is primarily to see and play wth DGS (I live a long way from them and don't see them often, you may understand why I am miffed at having the time taken up by little ones he sees all the time)

Meanwhile DD no 2 is going to flip when I tell her (I can see her refusing to come with!)

Not Christmas related but on DGS2's first birthday DD thought it would be nice to have both sets of GP to lunch (OK so far) and THEN she had invited 15 NCT buddies plus their children for tea in the afternoon. We were welvcome to stay and mingle or to retreat to their sitting room where there was Formula 1 on TV and the Sunday papers. (Bit of a no brainer) I stuck it out for about 15 minutes, DH and the other GPs retreated but the collected noise of nearly 30 children happily playing with DGSs toys intheir huge kitchen diner (everybody had one plus a baby/one year-old or a bump) defeated me too and I took refuge in the quiet zone where there was also a sleeping baby in his car seat. After a little while SIL peeped round the door and asked if he could join us, 10 minutes later DD came in too for a bit of peace leaving the 2 DGss to entertain their guests!!!
I strongly recommend arriving towards the end, yes there will be clearing up and yes the little ones will be up to high doh but you will be just in time for the mulled wine or G&T.

Lucy I always used to have several glasses of sherry to see me through the children's birthday parties

Nah...Mishap can't agree with tonicful....more of the vodka and less of the tonic surely?

GNHQ where is our emoticon of a glass with a red hat on it?

Yesssssss, Lucy go for the vodka jelly for the kids!!!

I do not think she is being unreasonable - but I do understand that it seems a bit daunting for grandma!

I would take a deep breath, tell myself I am lucky to be invited and head on in there after a dose of something tonicful!

Aka thanks! I think I will do both - arrive late with vodka to hand - could even make my vodka jelly for the kids (that really makes me a naughty granny lol)

She loves kids so prob won't find it a problem having them all - but I will NOT be helping with the clearing up nor the calming down of an overexcited 15 month old!

She obviously thinks it's a great idea, bless her! She'll learn probably hasn't a clue what it will all entail. You on the other hand know exactly the pitfalls, having been there and done that (haven't we all?). Either arrive late or commandeer the sherry/vodka/gin bottle and retreat to a safe place until its all over.

I don' t think either of you is unreasonable, if that's what she wants to do then let her go ahead your grandson will have a ball but I see no reason for to join in if you don't want to just get there when all the hubbub has died down. DGS is going to be over excited at the thoughts of Santa coming anyway so no change there really .