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To expect my DDH to put less in his pockets!

(55 Posts)
Flowerofthewest Wed 18-Dec-13 21:09:08

My DDH is a wonderful, delightful and loving man but he has one habit that drives me to distraction. His pockets are so full in his trousers that he looks like he is wearing saddlebags. Goodness knows what he needs all this crap stuff for. We weighed them one day and the total was over 5lb.

When he was in hospital last year they needed two, yes two trays for his personal items.

One problem is that the weight of the pockets pulls on his back pocket which in turn rips at the seam. No amount of pleading will make him reduce the contents.

2 x hankies (one for nose and other for cleaning specs)
Key wallet with at least 6 keys inside.
Caravan Keys
2 sets of car keys
shed key
large Swiss Army Knife
magnifying lense (to identify insects etc)
coins, coins, coins
mobile phone
old film case (to pop specimens into)
nail clippers
(sometimes toenail clippers)

I despair, does anyone else's beloved carry such a jumble of stuff around?

When changing from one pair to another it takes an age while he fill the saddlebags pockets. When he was weighed at the hospital the other week the nurse looked astounded as he emptied his pockets onto a chair.

Deedaa Wed 18-Dec-13 21:15:58

I seem to have been too successful in nagging my DH about the junk in his pockets. Now when we go out he hands half of it to me and I have to lug it round in my bag!

Flowerofthewest Wed 18-Dec-13 21:18:10


Granny23 Wed 18-Dec-13 21:20:36

I have one of these too. He doesn't car a magnifier nor an old film case but does have several old 'lucky' coins, a miniature tool kit, cough sweets and not one but 2 lucky stones. That's not to mention his bulging wallet with notes 2 dozen cards, DGC photos and around a years worth of old receipts. I comfort myself that at least he does not stand with hands in pockets, jingling his keys and loose change, when having a conversation. My old boss and a couple of male friends did/do this constantly, driving me to distraction. I think it is a male status thing -'Hear me! I've got more keys and cash than you'. [GRRR]

Nonu Wed 18-Dec-13 21:26:36

Granny OR they could have been playing a leetle pocket billards .
Just saying !


tanith Wed 18-Dec-13 21:28:06

Man bags? could that be the solution, maybe if you hinted you are buying them one as a present the horror of the suggestion might make them have a clear out...grin

Grannyknot Wed 18-Dec-13 21:32:05

It sounds as if he has a 'pocket-sized' hoarding habit. wink

What's he like otherwise?

Grannyknot Wed 18-Dec-13 21:32:31

I mean re hoarding habits. You've already said what he's like generally smile

Bellasnana Wed 18-Dec-13 21:37:32

My DH is the same. I dread it when we go through security at the airport and he has to divest himself of all the paraphernalia he carries in his pockets. Despite filling the tray with stuff, he usually manages to set the scanner 'beeping' and has to go through again. It then takes him another fifteen minutes to re-assemble himself at the other end. Anyone would think he had never travelled before! blush

merlotgran Wed 18-Dec-13 21:53:16

I was watching the Christmas Sewing Bee last night (DH was hiding behind his fishing magazine) and one of the former contestants was making a bag for his partner. This brought forth a snort from DH - not because the man was gay but because he was making a manbag!

I have spent all my married life mending worn out pockets, picking up nuts and bolts from the bedroom floor and hyperventilating when the washing machine sounds like a Sherman tank negotiating a flight of stairs. I've watched Swiss Army knives being confiscated at airports and seen him smile broadly as he posts a handful of washers in a Guide Dog for the Blind collecting box. He boasts that his pocket knife - a farmer's speciality with a castrating blade - has been in his family for over sixty years!!

Whenever he picks up my handbag he mutters, 'What the hell have you got in here?' tchhmm

jinglbellrocks Wed 18-Dec-13 22:03:06

I love the handful of washers in the guide dogs for the blind collecting box!tchgrin Sounds like the blind leading the blind. tchgrin

janeainsworth Wed 18-Dec-13 22:12:09

Merlot tchgrin

janerowena Wed 18-Dec-13 22:15:26

I had the opposite problem - and solved it with a very smart leather manbag! He gave me everything to carry and I was buying larger and larger bags and eventually I had problems with my shoulder. I rebelled at that point. Looking back, I can't believe how I let it creep up on me like that. He too carries, or would have liked me to carry, camera (insects, mainly butterflies) hanky, glasses case, sunglasses, wallet, keys, binoculars, the odd bit of shopping - I was a veritable beast of burden, he was quite appalling. He had to start carrying my bag for me, it was so heavy, so I think it was a case of, a manbag was the lesser of two evils. Now he loves it and it just looks like a rather posh dark brown leather satchel. I would only take a very small bag out with me when my shoulder was in pain, he had no choice, because I didn't forget and just take his bits and bobs out of habit.

merlotgran Wed 18-Dec-13 22:16:06

He's registered blind, jingl Lost his peripheral vision thanks to a stroke but he can sure as hell see straight in front on him!!!

'It's in my blind spot' is often a good excuse for CBA syndrome.

jinglbellrocks Wed 18-Dec-13 22:30:33

Oh merlot. sad and grin

JJay Wed 18-Dec-13 22:57:52

What does DDH mean ?

Mishap Wed 18-Dec-13 23:06:00

Your posts made me laugh out loud. If my wee OH filled his pockets like that he would not be able to stand up!!

What does exasperate me beyond measure is his constant search for his glasses, accompanied by suitable oft-repeated expletives! I have bought him various device to keep them upon his person, to no avail as he forgets to use them. Perhaps I should just suggest he puts them in his (entirely empty) pockets!

Flowerofthewest Wed 18-Dec-13 23:23:13

janerowena interesting regarding the other items you were expected to carry. I often used to carry the tripod when bird watching also a scope. he trundled along with a 600mm lense (not digital then) He also has three cameras around his neck. (used to be three) one black and white - in the old days, one landscape and one close up. Now it is just two. A camera bag, a little bit of a nuisance when trying to man the Puffin cross roads at the Wick on Skomer Island. His camera bag is likely to sweep enthusiastic visitors off the path and DDH is supposed to be manning the public. Binoculars too.

Interesting that your DDH also photographs butterflies, my dear one has written a book entitled The Butterflies of Hertfordshire. Dedicated to moi.
Dedication reads 'The butterfly lives not days but hours and has time enough'

Love that dedication.

May buy him a man bag for Christmas

Flowerofthewest Wed 18-Dec-13 23:24:42

jjay DDH means Dear Darling Husband.

TriciaF Thu 19-Dec-13 09:46:15

These replies have made me laugh!
I had a similar idea to a man-bag: what about one of those leather belts with a pouch on each side that are used to carry small tools when working on a job?
DH has one.

Skylark Thu 19-Dec-13 09:59:25

This gave me a good laugh, too! My OH hardly uses a mobile, but has just acquired DS's old iPhone, so that may change. He has an indescribable hanky which I make sure gets replaced whenever I notice it's beyond decency. And an ancient falling-apart wallet that he's reluctant to give up as it has a zipped compartment for coins, and we've found that new ones seem to have a popper compartment, which he doesn't like.

If anyone can guide me to a wallet with a zipped compartment I'd be most grateful!

annodomini Thu 19-Dec-13 10:15:00

DS1 has a man bag. When last seen, he was still using a rather tatty canvas satchel, but I think he was on the lookout (probably on Ebay!) for something more sophisticated. OTOH, his brother prefers to fill his pockets, his computer case, his bike panniers... No wonder he can never find anything. grin

annodomini Thu 19-Dec-13 10:16:19

The Scots have a solution - a sporran, but it's not a good look with trousers. wink

Flowerofthewest Thu 19-Dec-13 10:27:26

My DDH's trousers look like bike panniers. May try the sporran, he will need a rather large one though wink

JessM Thu 19-Dec-13 10:40:39

NT shops often do quite suitable manly bags.
My DH has a neurotic fear of damaging his pockets which leads to an obsession with getting rid of change. The more useful aspect of this is that he stashes it in the car so there is nearly always change for parking or supermarket trolleys. Less useful is the dumping change on the kitchen surface when he comes in or insisting on getting rid of all those pennies when paying for things in shops grin