Cut out of their lives 3

Hello Smileless & Celebgran seems to be par for the course then, being up & down with the blues. Of course all our friends have GC & naturally talk about them all the time, what with all the baby sitting going on. When my friends say they are "baby sitting again!" I say "Oh you're soo lucky!" Of course they assure me my time will come, but it's been such a long time now, I'm not sure if it ever will now, and if it did, it certainly couldn't be as it was before, after all that has happened & all the time that has gone, my adorable little GC will be all grown up! So very cruel, I don't know how my D could do it to me, but she has!

Good morning and sorry yogagirl and smileless not been feeling too clever.

Smileless how insensitive of your friend. It. Must be hard to not be tactless around people like us !

I feel lot calmer since back on full hrt patch and making our decision. To walk away at last. Doesn't t mean I do t get sad especially when I see pretty little girls who give me angelic smiles my heart just breaks a bit more.

Must be time year with all grans rushing round with there grandkids, I don't hear from my sister unless I text her, she has been no support at all except to. Brag about her grandkids! It hurts but now her daughter split from partner and son also split, so horrid I know but part of me feels serves you right ! Ooh that was unkind.

We had lovely night out fri and sat, had Tor godparents her for lunch fri always bit strained with them now. Food was good though say so myself,
Fri night our good friends picked us up for evening at local club veryngood singer, but was sooooo hot inside! Got itchy arm at moment heat rash think.

Sat was even Better my dear hairdresser came gave me blo dry and we went to other social club tribute Marshall king he is very good,does Elvis, Neil diamond and Freddie mercury see. Him I. Theatre. Was with my favourite friends 8 of us so life pretty good.

Yesterday we just chilled ! Good news found dog sitter near us! Joan is getting very (is 90) dodgy now is having Rosie this week though,
Nearly upset last night as due go meet husbands 2nd cousin sat and see our son sun he is moving thursday to Chippenham. Planned for weeks then his partner said they planned take boys see their dad Sunday. Right?,! I was borderline cross, my son rang all sorted boys said see their dad every Sunday rather see us! Was bit cross that lack of communication! Thank goodness sorted when you only got one child in contact makes it so hard desperate not upset them!

Have good day all of you hope yogagirl you res settle soon, I dont always sleep that well. . [cake] remember you not alone.
Sad story lady who go contact through court grandchild just written said does t want see them anymore and husband seriously ill. Maybe just well yogagirl we did t get forced contact.

Thanks smileless husband head healing, and we see be calmer ! X

Don't apologise for all the faces Yogagirl I love them too. I did enjoy my Indian we used to have one a weekbut recently it's been once every 4 or 5 so when I do have one I really enjoy them[tgbrin].

How strange to read you post about nose diving back in to the blues about your D and GC Yogagirl, I've been exactly the same for the last 4 or 5 days. We had some very dear friends round for a meal last night. They've been wonderfully supportive since our nightmare began. They have 4 gc, 3 from one child and 1 from another. The only child has always been a funny little onion and the parents are now divorced. She was saying, at length, how difficult it is with this gc, hard work etc. She will be having her gc every day next week and it's going to be hard work and she'll be exhausted. Not the best of conversations to have with grand parents who aren't allowed to see their only gc. Must be something in the air, or water, or both.

I've had trouble sleeping; waiting ages to go to sleep and then waking up several times during the night. I'm sure your D's move is playing on your mind; my S's non move must be playing on mine. I just don't want him living down the road. If he doesn't want us to be a part of his life, why doesn't he do the decent thing (it would make a pleasant change for once) put the house back on the market, sell it and move away.

Hope you enjoyed your fish and chips, bday party and you'll enjoy the 'Rat Pack' tonight.

Hope you and dear hubby are OK Celebgran, how's his head and is your foot any better. Happy Sunday to all of you lovely ladies.

Sorry about all the faces! but I love them

Well done Celebgran's Son
Hello cat lady alias Smileless cats can be very amusing Hope you enjoy your calorie rich Indian meal tonight
I'm in tonight, which is great for me as I'm out the rest of the week teaching my yoga. ND coming round soon for a . I'm going to a friends B/day party tomorrow night, which is always really good & normally in the garden with twinkling lights & then Sunday I'm watching the 'Rat pack' with a group of friends, should be good, all preceded by a couple of yoga classes.
I have nose dived back into the blues regarding my D&GC, had a bad night last night, like I used to be; can't get off to sleep for thinking of them. even with a 'Kalms night', waking up in the middle, having to get up, as only way to get them out of my mind, & then finally wake too early with them on my mind again . Got back to sleep when my ND woke me at 8am (she phones me every morning on her way to work) & she had had a really bad nightmare about my Son trying to kill me & she was trying to stop him!! Obviously their move has hit us harder than we would have thought
I'm looking forward to my fish & chips with a glass of tonight.
Here's one for you too oh go on have another well it is Friday

Way to go*Celebgran*, 20 lengths is really good. Oooh how lovely, wish we had a picture poster of our s from Oz; I know I'm bias but he is very good looking.

Splashed out today on some new toys for my cats. I got a tower with three holes in it and a little toy mouse on elastic in each. They love it, I've been watching them play and giggling for most of the afternoon. I also got a scratch mat which is an elephant with big ears that make a crackling sound when they touch them and a lovely big trunk. Don't know what hubby will say when he sees themjust hope he doesn't ask how much I spent.

Hope you've had a better day today Yogagirl and that you and Celebgran have some fun plans for the weekend. We're out tonight with our friends' son for an Indian. Wish we weren't really as it's not going to be good for my 'careful eating plan' so I'll have to be careful what I choose. It'll be good to see him though, what with our eldest being so far away and the situation with our youngest, he's been like a breath of fresh air. Tomorrow we have friends coming for a meal so in between watching my cats I've been busy in the kitchen.

Well, seeing as it's Friday here goesandfor you all. Hope you all have a good one.

Oh yogagirl hope work went well so damn hard to try accept what we can't change but we are getting there

Got today after myn20 length swim! Trying keep up with you smileless!. Well got home and husband said this came for us huge parcel with do no bend on it, opened and heyho was picture poster of our son advertising his lecture at Georgia university that he gave last month and a spiel about him very proud of him

Hugs to anyone that needs them today! X

for you Yogagirl and a great big HUG.

Thank you Celebgran I wont be able to get the add from anyone & it wouldn't be put on FB. I do have his m&d's add where they are living now, they too live just 5mins away. My ND has washed her hands of her sister now & has said if she makes contact in the future she will not want to know her or her children! She has hurt us both too much! I don't know what I would do if she suddenly knocked on my door, either with or without the little ones, it's just the sort of thing she would do & just think nothing of the hell she has put us through the last 2yrs!!
Smileless I watch that programme too, (two to catch up on later) & I cry buckets when I watch it, as it's not just about the babies being born, it's also about the happy family unit, including the grandparents & especially the mother of the girl giving birth! so it is a very emotional programme to watch for us on here. And like you, I can't believe I have actually moved on & am getting on with my life, without thinking about them every second! Wise words re other Children.
I shouldn't come on here before going to work, I feel all emotional now, thanks for the kind & supportive words, they mean a lot.
Have a nice day love these faces

It certainly isn't easy Yogagirl but I really do think you've done the most difficult part by making the decision to move on. I understand that being able to send your gc cards etc helps make you feel as if there is at least some kind of a connection and if they move and you don't know where too, that will be lost.

Our s seems to have taken his house off the market. Because of their proximity to us, and let's be honest it couldn't be closer or worse for that matter, I'm gutted at the prospect of them staying in the village.

I don't want to catch glimpses of my gc as it's just too painful, and I don't want to see my s. We all go through so many emotions don't we, I'm just toowith him, in fact I'm soooothat at the moment I don't ever want to clap eyes on him ever again.

We will send our gc Christmas and bday cards while they remain in the village if only bec. I will not ever give them the opportunity to say that even though we knew where they were, we didn't even bother to do that. That said, I can't help but wonder if it would be better if we didn't know where they are. Wont it be easier to, as you say, 'push them to the back of our minds' if we don't know where they are and so can't send cards which will only be ripped up any way?

I'm going to keep on buying the cards so I can put them in the memory box which I haven't bought yet, but already have quite a bit to put in. It'll probably end up being a memory chestrather than a box.

I had the tv on yesterday afternoon and there was some one giving birth and I just broke down; remembering when he was born and how close we were for almost 27 years. May be we'll never be able to 'crack it' but it does get easier with time. I used to cry every day and I know you did too. I can't believe how far my hubby and I have come. I know this sounds melodramatic but I honestly didn't think my life would be worth living with out my son and only gc to share it with, but it is.

You're doing really well Yogagirl and have been through so much. Life is for living so be strong. None of us thought this would ever happen but it has and it even though we don't think it likely, it could change. But in the meantime we all have to focus on what we do have. We have another DS and you have another DD. They'll never make up for the ones we've lost or our lost gc but at least we have children to love who love us in return.

You're quite right Celebgran, we all have family and friends who want us and we have one another here on GN to share our sorrow on bad days and what happiness we can find on our better days.

I love these new faces too so here goes. It's only Wednesday which is why I haven't sent any. Naughty hubby has had two glasses but I resisted, well until the weekend anyway.

Hugs for you all.

Oh yogagirl that is very unkind of your daughter.

Is there no way a mutual friend can let you know?

To be hones trusts what I dread with my daughter but so far don't think they could afford it. She would not let me know I am convinced of it.

Is one thing being strong another not having that option to contact them.

What does your nice daughter say? Are there any family members who could help and find out for you? Or snooping on f book!?

Hugs my heart goes out to you. Remember we here for you and focus on the positives, your family and friends who do want you and us ! Xxxx

Hi Girls
Its harder than I thought, being strong & moving on, something always seems to happen when I think I have cracked it, & can push them to the back of my mind & get on with my life for the first time in almost 2yrs.
I'm feeling blue today as I've just realized that now my D has moved, I will not be able to send Xmas cards or B/day cards, or the occasional little letter, as I have been doing. It made me feel connected to them. If they are still living with his parents Xmas time & I send my GC cards, there will be 5 adults in the house to rip them up & if they are moved on by then I will not have the add. so total cut-off. It feels so bad to have two wonderful grandchildren & not to be part of their lives!
& I loves these new faces

Thanks smileless I made acquacise ! Also waked to shops and treated myself to pretty top in sale of course and then walked round morrisonsl
Did shop and bought flowers fro my dear f I law whose birthday would have been today. He would have been 97! He died nearlyn6 years ago now just before Tor cut us out so felt bit emotional.

Gra work today.

Sadly my foot been very pain ful mayn't redone walking today oops.
Take couples I killers and tried have rest.

Time for quick cuppa before collecting my dear husband,

Hope yoga and smileless had good day, you are very fit now smileless!
Yes we must give support to each other I really feel we will bp get strong again by just trying leave things in menaces especially 5 years tryingnsoooo hard take it out of us with just wall of silence to show for it.

Our so. Bought us hamper so Xmas had sloe gin in it is very nice! Left it this long as didnt think would like it!
for us all x

I'm glad you enjoyed the house warming party Yogagirl and it's good that you're once again on speaking terms with your ex f.i.l.. As you say, at least you're moving in the right direction and that's one in the eye for your s.i.l. isn't it. Thanks for your encouragement. I had a good session at the gym this morning and dear hubby bless him pointed out that I am looking trimmer and reminded me that muscle weighs more than fat, so that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Looks like your D may well have received your letter before they moved; the timing couldn't have been better could it.

Poor Gra, hope he's fully recovered now Celebgran. May be your d doesn't realise what she's done, but I'm sure she will one day, they all will. What's that old saying 'be careful what you wish for in case your wish comes true'.

Well done for sticking to your decision, it's sooo hard, but it's the only way
because waiting for the 'phone that never rings and the knock on the door that never comes is even harder.

That's what we're trying to do too, as is Yogagirl and I'm sure we'll get there eventually and in the meantime we have one another for support.

for you Yogagirland*Celebgran*and all of you lovely GN's.

Forgot to say Gra hit head when standing up under beach hut he forgot it was very low!

Bless him it shook him up quite a bit.

Oh smileless and yogagirl and it is so hard isn't it.

Glad you enjoyed housewarming party yogagirl and that some sort relation ship going with ex f I law.

I am Feeling lot stronger but today upset me bit. Was at my best friend Tor godmother she doing her treatments and having lunch In Garden, well I know Tor was her executor and of course they cut her out too even worse she would have inherited half their property etc so very had, wonder if our daughter realises just what she has done!

Anyway we still sticking to our walk away decision however hard it is only way to try move on.

Feeling tired now! Up early tomorrow acquacise booked at 9am usual lady off so different place.

My hear husband has booked. Extra weekend. Away that I fancied in October.
Yippee !

Hope monday gone well for you both x

Hello Celebran that trout dinner sounds wonderful, making me feel hungry! with a nice bottle of wine in a sunny garden, what more could you want..yes I know, some GC! It is hard to go to the park & see all the Grandma's with their GC, I can't tear myself away from looking at their happiness together & of course wishing it was me too! Hope you enjoyed your bbq & that your hubby is ok with his head cut
Well done Smileless on losing 2inchs & 4.5ibs, that's a lots So you had a a bitter/sweet time at your party, we can all relate to how that feels, for you: to brighten your day.
I went to my ND house warming/ b/day party on Sunday, my prev. f.i.l & his wife were there, we were friendly, going in the right direct, but not as we were before nasty s.i.l, before all this we would be chatting together the whole time, but we did have a little chat, so getting there.
I drove passed my D house last Wednesday evening, empty with 'for sale' board up, I called the estate agent the next day & they said it had been empty for two weeks, up for sale just a week, when I asked about the post, he said that was up to the tenants & became unfriendly & a bit short, I think he may have thought I was a debt collector or something. Anyway, that would mean that my letter would have arrived the week before they moved out, so I hope my D did pick it up & read it, it would have been good timing if she did.

Oh Celebgran, poor Grahow did he manage to do that? Glad they managed to glue him back together again. You must be careful not to over do things and learn to take things easy from time to time.

I was being a bit too hard on my self and they must have picked this up at the gym. Four grueling weeks and lost the grand total of 2 inches and 4.5lbs. Well they were very sweet this morning; told me I was going in the right direction and working as hard as I could (true) that I don't really have very much to lose (not sure I agree) and that may be I need to make some adjustments to my diet (well, they're right about that). Any way, I've begun the second 4 week stage with a new workout, even more grueling than the lastand am hoping for better results.

Went to a friend's bday party on Saturday which was great but also hard as there were a lot of children there and I 'danced' with a lovely little boy and couldn't help wondering what it would be like to dance with our little gs. And then I started thinking about all the fun we could have had, and that we'd have been good grand parents if we'd only been given the chance so by the time we got home I was feeling weepy.

I guess it's only to be expected that the bad days will occasionally rear their ugly heads. Hubby's mum said to him the other day 'but you're over it now aren't you' so he told her no, we will never 'get over it', the pain does ease with time but it will never disappear completely. Still trying to get my head around the fact that she thought we were over it.

Hope you all had a good weekend ladies and that this week is good for you too.

Sadly poor Gra hit his head on beach! Had take him to hospital, they glued it! Helpful nurse. Was worried though.

Feeling qute stressed today even though we had. NIce lunch with friends and going visit more friends tonight!

Busy Day tomorrow treatments with Tor godmother. So work and play kind of!
Hope smileless you not being too hard on yourself I am so fed up ref weight!
Foot bit sore today dancing and cleaning and walking Rosie too much!
Hope you and yogagirl had good weekend. X

Hello ladies, hope you're all having a good weekend. Finished the 4th week of my self inflicted torture sessions at the gym, only 8 more to go.

Glad your foot is feeling a lot better Celebgran, hope you enjoy your BBQ on the beach. We're off to a birthday party this evening so hoping for a good night out.

Enjoy your weekend ladies. Here's someto help you along.

I know smileless everyone seems busy minding grandkids like we would be of course but heyho we not going down the negative road!

My friend was waiting for her grandsons while I. Did lane swim yesterday it didn't upset me really but eldest same age as our Mollie so did have little pang!

Husband went out last night he hardly ever does I missed him!

We going down beach today for short while then BBQ! He working tomorrow so enjoyment today!

Still got be careful with foot but have specialist appt on 9th sept.

Enjoy sun all of you what you up to this weekend smileless and yogagirl?

It was great to read your posts Yogagirl and Celebgran. I've missed our little 'chats' on here. It's good that we're doing our best to move on with our lives, focusing on the children who love us in return and spending less time thinking of the ones who've treated us so badly and caused so much heart ache.

The summer holidays are difficult aren't they; seeing grandparents with their grand children and thinking of what might have been.

I know it's not quite the weekend but what the hellandfor you all.

Oh yogagirl your deserve we shared bottle Asti tonight out In Garden with yummy dinner to toast future !

Stuffed trout new pots sweetcorn and baby courgettes mmmm
Asda sell trout fillet stuffed I had ricotta cheese and spinach Gra had tomatoe! Mmmm

Just come In Watered all round.

So sad for us grans isn't it yogagirl just focus on your nice daughter like I do My son. Try not to send notes and cards I find it only makes me sadder.

On f book is a share from grans like us saying about not allowed photos or to watch you grow but make not mistake will always love you so it made me cry !

Keep strong yogagirl and smileless one day we will be reconciled !

Xx

Hello Celebgran & Thank you. Glad your foot is better, just the knee now!
I have decided to do the same as you & Smileless which is to get on with my life & try to push them to the back of my mind, as they are not in or part of my life any more. Trouble is, since I made the decision, which was after I wrote my letter to GC saying " Summer holidays again, wish I could take you to the beach & buy you both an ice cream as other grandmothers do", since then I have been in a bad mood, as opposed to a sad/grieving mood . Also as they have moved, I'm wondering if my letter got to them before hand & if not where is it. I would hate it to be in the Estate agents & be handed to s.i.l mother, as it's quite likely she would go in to pick up the post. She would then open it, read it & then tear it up. Of course I was banking on my D opening it & reading it & maybe some of the fog would lift from her brain & even her heart would be touched! I could contact the estate agent, but bit reluctant to, I looked in the papers & internet to see if it was up for rent/sale but it wasn't there.

Great to see post from yogagirl sorry you been in. Dark place but totally understand just glad you emerging and enjoying life a bint again
missed hearing about you.

Smileless what have you been up to? So glad that your last minute hol was relaxing and good. How is the gymn thing going!

I have been busy bee social a d hospital appts. Hurray my foot improving!
Having physio again this afternoon. He is nice chap but not that helpful we had to buy strapping from boots, seems is all about costs! He gave me lovely foot massage monday but triggered off bunion aching lol.

However i can now walk a lot less pain not sure if just finally healing, is relief, just got knee pain now!

Monday spent day with good friend but normally meet her in town when foot better sadly she smokes heavily be fair she only had 3 while i was there but whole house wreaks of it, made my eyes sore! She is such lovely friend shame! She even asked if i minded but how can you say in someone's home!

Graham my dear husband and I come to decision to try step back from our pain and focus on what we have!
Have good day everyone and so pleased again for libra chick!