You cannot be proud to be…

It was a joke. You know, one of those light hearted things........

Oh, perhaps you don't.

Where did this "controversy and debate take place"? Were the pm' s flying?

I think you're doing really well soop, to be back on the bike at all. Build up slowly. Don't overdo it.

I'm sorry as well absent, that your AIBU was responded to by some posters as "bollocks" etc.
I've enjoyed the thread it generated. I grew up with "pride becomes before a fall" as a childhood message, and also never to see myself as more important than anyone else. I see pride in family, as a positive but arrogance as a real negative.

Oh eerr absent I can't believe any of us would tell anyone to shut the f.... Up. That's horrible. I hope your not too put off posting. I think the post caused some controversy and debate. But isn't that what some post are meant to do? I sometime reply on instinct It's often a gut emotion. After following the post I can often see things from another angle. At the very least it makes me think about the issues that are raise. I enjoyed this one. Ps can I be ever so quietly proud. I'll keep it to myself honest!

Just to clarify, I chose to put this under AIBU not Pedants' Corner or any other heading because I wondered whether I was. While I am perfectly well aware that words change their meaning with time, I still think of pride in its traditional form – "high or overweening opinion of one's own qualities, attainments or estate; inordinate self-esteem". (OED) Hardly, surprisingly, no one has admitted to feeling this way or to extending such a feeling to other areas of their lives, such as their children.

In fact, it is clear that most posters regard pride, whether in themselves, their families or, in a few cases, in their countries, as a positive rather than negative emotion, encompassing respect and admiration as well as a level of self-satisfaction. It seems, therefore, what used to be called "proper pride" to distinguish it from the seven deadly sins type of pride has superseded the main definition of pride in the majority of minds so deliberately not to use it in that way is probably wilful and, indeed, unreasonable.

I am sorry that some posters dismissed my post as "bollocks" and "silly" and advised that I "should get a life" we should "shut the fuck up". I am surprised and slightly hurt that my genuine but harmless query should provoke such an aggressive response and unpleasant language.

agree janeainsworth. I'm also a bit grumpy about the use of low self esteem as an excuse for bad behaviour, but that's probably another thread init. I am proud of being part of a loving family. We all work at it, as we're fortunate enough to know, that relationships don't appear out of the ether

ffinnochio yes, I think you're right re humility/ low self esteem.
But it also seems to me that humility isn't recognised as a virtue perhaps as much as it should be, these days.
I used to get CVs from young people wanting jobs, and they had obviously been advised to 'big themselves up' for want if a better expression, when in fact a little modesty about their achievements (or lack if them usually) would have made me far more likely to take their application seriously.
Self esteem seems to be an end in itself these days, which seems sad to me

bags visited me in hospital. She provided a picnic. A true friend.

Rowantree It's my term for a rectal prolapse. Not something I would want to experience again. Surgery was up through my backside and walls of the protrusion were trimmed and stapled. I was informed that surgery might not cure the problem...it didn't...but it's less troublesome.

By the way, I admire and respect your resolve.

Soop - what's 'drop bot'? looks furtively at her own vast posterior and wonders if that's dropped off anywhere

A start is progress though, innit. That's got to be good

Hi jings just barging in to say...yesterday I mounted my exercise bike for the first time since "drop bot" surgery. All my muscle power has deserted me. My legs felt like jelly. After five minutes I was cream crackered. Anyways, just saying, I've made a start. Bye!

I think Bags there might have meant - now shut the f--- up.

Another thought: when MrB first got to know DDs 1 & 2, he said he thought they were "impressive". So people who don't feel they can be proud of their offspring or of their offsprings' achievements can just be impressed instead. They don't have to tell anyone else if they are embarassed to admit being impressed by someone connected to them.

Problem solved.

Dusts hands.

Spot on, bags and a virtual posy of spring

Oh! I'm proud to be a Brit. We do things so well!

thatbags, totally agree with your view on this - as with many others.

Er - who's Lizzy Yarnold though?

Being proud to be Scottish, French or whatever is a different matter....nationalism makes me feel VERY uneasy, especially given that my father's family, like so many others, was ripped apart because of what extreme nationalism led to (and still does in many places). HOWEVER - I am very glad I live in the UK!
My children's achievements are nothing to do with me in the sense that they achieved what they did under their own steam, so to speak, but we did encourage them as best we could. We also made a lot of mistakes and I'm not too proud to admit that to them and to apologise and accept responsibility for them, even when the memory of them makes me wince!

Yes, I like that bags.

Well put bags.

Here is a short extract from Saira Shah's book, The Mouseproof Kitchen :

Your love for that baby shines through everything you do. I'm so proud of you for what you've done with her. You get out of babies what you put in, you know. That's what being a mother is – not getting things right all the time, not being a bloody saint.

Hands up anyone who doesn't understand that. Nota Bene, I said understand, not agree with. My point is that whether we agree or not, we understand that use of the word proud, therefore that is one of its uses in the English language. We can be proud of our offspring and of their achievements because, at least in part, they and their achievements are part of us. This pride is part of our self-respect and need not be insufferable for others to contemplate.

Ok janeainsworth. If you really are that tender in this day and age, (and God help you if you are!) then I will put it this way.

The original post is silly. IMO

Thank you ginny. Yes I realised he wanted me to say I was proud of him - so I did (but maybe a bit late).

I think of humility as being willing to learn. I never think of it as linked to self-esteem.

* Nightowl* I agree that you have no right to take pride in your sons' achievement but I do think you can be proud of him for his acheivements.
Your DS seems to be of the same opinion.

janeain Perhaps it's a matter of choice? I hadn't thought of the juxtaposition of humility and low-self esteem. One can choose to be humble in life, and be content and comfortable to hold some of that - a good and strong place to be sometimes, but I don't think one would choose to have low self-esteem, which promotes unhappiness and discomfort.

Interesting musings.