Mothering Sunday

Agree with Mishap!

The past few years...i have my mum and my nan to buy for..i then have to buy for them off my dds.
Then my DH and his mum and off the dds.

And not to mention myself.

Its very stressfull trying to fit everyone in and you cannot keep everyone happy.

I have 2 young dds so DH has said its my year this time as ive allways sorting everyone else and forgetting I am actually a mum too.

These days with special labels cause so many problems. Two of my DDs live locally and are married therefore have two lots of mums each to try and keep happy. It is very hard!!! Let us not expect too much of them!

Did she see you last year on Mothers day?
Maybe they're trying to alternate between people?

Also yes, she is a mother too and maybe wants to do her own thing.

Saying that i couldn't imagine not seeing my mum on mothers day. Try and have a word with her about how you are feeling, she might not have a clue!

Trendy - YANBU at all. I can't begin to imagine how I'd feel if I'd lost a daughter and of course Mothe's Day will make it worse and especially without your DH. Do you and your older daughter talk at all about both your feelings of the loss of your daughter? Perhaps you need to have a conversation with her about your feelings about not seeing your dd and dgc very much. You are in a very sad situation and as others have said perhaps your dd just hasn't appreciated that with her busy life.

However , having said that , you might just mention in passing that you felt a wee bit neglected, in a sort of casual throwaway .
Don"t believe it hurts them sometimes to just Think on, you are her Mum after all , she owes her existence to you after all !!

Trendy , don"t be too hurt , you will not be the only one on this forum, if that is any consolation.
Having said that I would be hurt also , I am lucky as my DD lives round the corner and her MIL lives in Lancashire , so NO chance of them going up there , so we are going to lunch at theirs !
I have sent you some with ((hugs)) , keep your pecker up !

I'll be on my own as well

I'm the same. I hate any sort of a fuss and my children know that but sometimes they take it too far. I got really upset a couple of years ago when I didn't get a card from my son as he is always to one who remembers such things but it turned out to be a misunderstanding. But I'm more likely to be asked to babysit so they can go out than be invited round for a meal [can't remember the last time that happened other than when we have an occasional curry night when we all buy our own].

I do think it's a pity that these occasions seem to have become hyped up in recent years, because then anyone who can't be with their family for whatever reason is made to feel upset and left out.
My mother specifically forbade us to buy her anything on Mothering Sunday, because she didn't want us 'wasting' our money on expensive flowers. I don't think cards had been invented then. We were allowed to take her an early morning cup of tea.
People just didn't go out for meals in those days either.
We have never done anything special with our children for Mothers' Day .

Trendygran I am so sorry about the daughter you have lost. I can't imagine how that must feel. I agree with Mollie, your daughter probably has no idea that you feel so upset - I hope you can talk it through with her and do something special with her on another day soon.

It must seem a bit like they've forgotten you Trendygran but I try to remember that my children are mothers, or married to mothers, and that must be their priority.

As it is, DS1, who is unmarried, is coming for lunch and, as I enjoy cooking, that suits me fine. DH and I plan to go out for lunch at our favourite restaurant when the prices are being inflated for mother's day - can you arrange something like that with your daughter?

trendy don't forget that she is a mother too.
I don't always see my dd and ds on Mothering Sunday, as my dgds like to treat their mum, and my dil goes to see her own mother.
from me to you, for Sunday.

Oh dear Trendygran, I am sorry that you'll be on your own on Mothering Sunday. If it's any consolation there will be lots of us not with our children for all sorts of reasons. Personally, I like to be remembered but hate a fuss, I want to know I'm the centre of the world if only for that one day but I hate the busy restaurants and the over-priced gifts etc. and my family know it. As long as a card arrives and maybe a call on the day, I'll be happy.

I wonder if perhaps you've let your daughter think that you don't want a fuss on the day too - it's easy to give the impression you aren't fussed while all the time wanting them to surprise you and make a big fuss. If that's the case then I'm sorry they seem to have taken you at your word. If not, maybe you need to let your daughter know how you really felt about being overlooked on the one day of the year meant for Mothers when you next see her. I hope it was just a simple misunderstanding and that she'll do something special next time.