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AIBU

demanding husband

(67 Posts)
Hermia46 Tue 06-May-14 09:28:49

My husband is driving me potty! - he is retired, as I am I, but whereas I am more than happy with my own company, hobbies and pastimes and don't expect constant attention, he seems unable to do anything without approval. Barely downstairs this morning post shower when it was 'come and have a look at this on the pc'...at 6.30 am!! When all I want is my breakfast and a cup of tea! How do I get him to stop this childish demanding behaviour ? It is making me very grumpy ...can't seen icon for grumpy!!

Fairhair Fri 09-May-14 03:17:43

My partner at the moment....and I'm not sure for how long .... hmm just woke me a moment ago with a loud snore! Now I'm awake. I'm here to mention his disease of stating the obvious! I have eyes! Maybe he should find him a vision impaired partner...he'd be doing her a service I don't need!

Agus Thu 08-May-14 23:01:35

Galen and Elegran flowers

Deedaa Thu 08-May-14 22:52:40

I have always done most of the decorating in our house because DH was often away or working nights. NOW I am forbidden to do any painting or papering because I don't know how to do it !!!

harrigran Thu 08-May-14 22:47:50

We have been together 51 years and it is our 47th wedding anniversary this Autumn. That is an awful long time to be doing housework and I didn't realise until DH retired that I had been doing it wrong all those years grin

Elegran Thu 08-May-14 22:13:18

May is a hard month for you, Galen flowers

Mine is April, but we first met on May 5th, which we remembered as an anniversary as much as our wedding day. We did not make our golden wedding, but we did celebrate together after 50 years from our first meeting.

"April is the cruellest month, breeding lilacs out of the dead earth"
"I had not thought death had undone so many."

Penstemmon Thu 08-May-14 22:12:07

flowers for you Galen.

Galen Thu 08-May-14 21:55:52

Widowed for 11 on 23/5/14

Agus Thu 08-May-14 20:51:46

I should add though, this was when DH first retired and we eventually got used to working together with both of us at home all day.

I couldn't have had better care as DH took over and looked after me as I have been housebound for 8 weeks due to an accident.

granjura Thu 08-May-14 19:44:13

A shame Ariadne LOL ;)

Nonu Thu 08-May-14 19:39:04

43 and a half here !

[]smile]

Agus Thu 08-May-14 18:37:32

When I had had enough of DH 'advising' me how to run a home and raise children I reminded him that, as he couldn't remember what he had for lunch the day before, he hadn't a hope in hell of remembering his lack of input for the last 40 years when I would have appreciated more help but, guess what, I managed it all regardless smile

Ariadne Thu 08-May-14 18:32:42

I am quite lucky, I think; we both have our own interests and a big shared one, so we don't get on top of one another. He is still very busy.

But I have noticed recently, as I recover from the knee op, that he can't retain more than tow requests, and has to come back and sy "What was the other thing?"

I have posted this before, but it is a) funny and ?) true!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=L29KmQxEA3E&feature=youtube_gdata_player

But he is looking after me so well! (The new cleaner starts tomorrow..)

granjura Thu 08-May-14 18:26:54

44 years together here too smile

jeanie99 Thu 08-May-14 18:23:04

It's not possible to alter our husbands.

After 44 years I've given up even thinking about it.

But then he isn't going to get me to change my ways either.

The things that do annoy are when he try's to tell me how to cook or do something else that I have been doing before I even met him.

granjura Thu 08-May-14 18:02:43

All I can say is that I am extremely lucky- pheew- would drive me absolutely potty too. My dad was lovely, but also needed constant attention and approval from my mum- and it drove her nuts. She would be reading or playing the piano, etc- and he would constantly ask her to pass him something, come and admire any little job he had done, or even a lettuce in the garden- etc.

Bunch Thu 08-May-14 16:59:27

Does anyone have another half who asks 'who's that from?' as soon as/every time your mobile pings with a text? Or who looks over your shoulder when you are reading/writing emails (not at the moment needles to say!). Frankly I find it hugely annoying and, although this sounds harsh, an invasion of my privacy. Solutions welcomed!

HildaW Thu 08-May-14 14:14:42

yes that's exactly it Gill!

KatyK Thu 08-May-14 12:41:29

Aka grin

GillT57 Thu 08-May-14 12:37:31

I love the expression on women's faces in the Supermarket when they are being advised' by their newly retired husbands.grin What is the expression? twice the husband but half the income?

Aka Thu 08-May-14 10:53:31

I have the opposite problem in that Mr Aka relies on me to tell him what to do and how to do it. Problem is I then have to go and admire his work and exclaim how wonderful it all is.
But I'm learning fast. I've just sent him down the allotment with instructions on which bed needs turning over next. This will get rid of take him at least an hour and with a bit of luck he'll meet some other boring old farts retired men down there and they'll get chatting so another hour of peace and quiet smile

Hermia46 Thu 08-May-14 09:58:30

Brilliant Gransnetters all, I love the comments and I am so glad I am not the only one who thinks like this. I particularly like the advice to either go 'deaf' or to simply lay down some ground rules for his time and my time, on the other hand I also like 'I know the bloody way I have been doing it for forty years'....

smile

Deedaa Tue 06-May-14 22:02:27

When DH became too ill to work we sold his car and I now do all the driving. On the rare occasions when he comes with me he will insist on directing me! It took us half an hour to find the crematorium for his mother's funeral because he told me not to take the turning which I knew was there, but to carry on and go down one he thought he'd seen years ago! It didn't exist so we had to take the scenic route!!!

FlicketyB Tue 06-May-14 20:27:51

The best cure is to get them involved in some outside activities. It could be a hobby, voluntary work or anything else, preferably involving a social side to it. DH took up short mat bowling after he retired as it happens in the local village hall. He now knows far more local people in the village than I do!

Be firm about not being interrupted when otherwise occupied. It is a pain to begin with but the message gets through eventually

apricot Tue 06-May-14 18:25:36

Men retiring now were too often brought up to do nothing in the house and carried on that way during their working lives. I know someone who plans every day around "looking after" her husband, which means doing exactly what he wants and never having an hour to herself.
Thank goodness today's young men have to take equal shares of running a home and childcare. They won't expect their partners to treat them like another child in retirement.

numberplease Tue 06-May-14 17:48:26

Mine will quite happily leave daughter and me twiddling our thumbs in boredom whilst he watches lengthy sporting events, but woe betide him having nothing to watch and us doing something on our laptops, or reading, he suddenly needs our attention for something or other, can`t bear it if we have something to occupy us and he hasn`t.