Political incorrectness I do miss it!

I guess I just don't dine with the sort of people who would make the sort of crass 'jokes' we are talking about.

Why on earth should anyone feel they might change their names to be helpful? How about people making the effort to learn how the names are pronounced? Some words are difficult to say when they use sounds not made in British or American everyday language, but so are some of our words for other people whose first language is not English. A bit of effort goes a long way.

Very difficult when you are part of a group of friends for all that time. However, others have drifted away

Going off at a slight tangent but this is something that's bothered me for ages but don't quite know how to address it. I have a good pal that shares my interest in music so we swap cd's etc and we also [in general] have the same sense of humour. But he sends me jokey emails that are racist and often mentions the BNP in conversation. I never respond in any way but he doesn't seem to have twigged that I don't share his views. I'm not very good with nipping something in the bud comments and the emails are always round robin types. I know it sounds as if he's someone I shouldn't really have as a friend but in all other ways he's a nice bloke [loves animals etc]. Should I just keep ignoring the comments? We've been pals for years....

I am NOT saying whether it is right or wrong . just Telling it like it is!!

phew

Tegan can you say / email something like 'you're a great bloke and I don't want to offend you but I don't like this type of joke'? or ask him not to send you round robin emails as your inbox is getting too cluttered (if you don't want to actually address the matter directly)?

"Don"t shoot the messenger" !

I have had emails like that from people who seem quite nice and probably wouldn't make those sorts of remarks themselves - I think some people just receive them and then shove them out to everyone, why I don't know. I usually just delete them.

I'm not very good at that sort of thing . I feel better for getting it off my chest. I just feel a bit of a coward for not standing up for my own principles. Maybe if he sees me leafleting for the Labour Party at the next election he'll get the message . I can't say 'he's a bloke so he probably won't' as that proves that I'm as politically incorrect as he is . Which I probably am .

You can vote for the Lib Dems, Greens, Conservatives etc and still not be racist

Cool it nonu. No-one blamed you for making anyone change their name - you just brought the issue up and it was relevant to this discussion!

Tegan I'd love to introduce him to my BiL. They sound like a matching pair!

rose; what I meant was that by knowing that I was a Labour supporter he would know that I wasn't a BNP supporter. In no way was my comment meant to imply that Conservatives, Lib Dems et al were racist. Don't put words into my mouth please.

He sounds like the sort of friend to whom one could say, "I wish you'd shut up about the bloody BNP. I'm fed up hearing about them."

That sounds like a good plan .

Hello Janeainsworth I have just read your post in response to mine about the 2 men dressing up as The Williams sisters.

Perhaps it would have been more sensible for them to not have blacked up and just gone to the Carnival as women tennis players, they would have still looked very funny IMO.

I think what I am trying to get at is that modern day humour has been sanitised. People seem to take exception very easily. In days gone by it was seen as a good quality to be able to take a joke on yourself.

I do not agree with being homophobic or racist.

I sometimes feel there is very little left that we can have a good laugh at without someone complaining.

I doubt we will ever agree but I do like to be able discuss such subjects in a civilised way as we do, most of the time, on Gransnet. Thanks for replying.

I don't believe 'we' have lost any of our sense of humour. Being more sensitive about what constitute's rudeness, with overtones of the old colonial days isn't about lacking humour, it's about respecting others.

It isn't ok to expect people to anglicise their names to make life easier for others. Thankfully, that's another thing that happens less and less in this country.

I find that there are any number of things that are amusing, humorous, funny without going anywhere near expecting people with disabilities, BME people, LBGT people , older people and women to be able to 'take a joke on themselves'. 'Jokes' against beleaguered and/or disadvantaged groups are usually an expression of the power differential and the response that they should be able to laugh at themselves is a perfect example of this. The changes that have occurred in my lifetime in this respect are changes I am thankful to have seen brought about. Some of the racist comments and overt racism expressed on this thread is far from civilised and a disgrace to GN

just got back from dress hunting with my friend,enjoying a nice chilled glass of "Rose" poured for me for by my DEAREST aka Mr N.

She got a really nice outfit, really looked good on her, and you know what she bought me a gorgeous bunch of flowers by way of a thank you , which she really did not need to --such sweet people about!

I do believe it is not correct to expect folk to anglicise their names, but hey if that is what they want to do who am I to tell them different !

Different strokes eh !!

Some folks are determined not to accept it's possible to oppress others to the extent they name change to fit the dominant culture.

Take away someone's name, and you remove part of their identity. It used to happen in workplaces/workhouses/slave plantations. It happened in children's homes and foster placements until relatively recently. Children with names from their countries of origin were re-named Tracey or Jason, overnight.

Our parents gift us life, and choose a name carefully. We may not all approve of the parents choice of name, but that's the gift they give their child. It's just wrong to take that away from them, or to create a culture within which someone will name change to make life easier for customers, and has nothing to do with Different Strokes.

Quoting bensma - "Oh my lord, what a pompous lot we are on here"

Totally agree!

And why my post on the subject of "chinky" food has been singled out for deletion, I'm blowed if I know.

Gransnet does seem to have aspirations to be a forum for middle class, supposedly educated, pompous individuals only.

What a bizarre remark. Or were you referring to yourself when you commended Bensma's contribution?

I've looked at the front page of this site and I can't find any reference to middle class, supposedly educated pompous individuals. But perhaps you have privileged insight into the future direction of GN.

Hold on.....I'm getting confused now. Lefty loonies, bleeding heart brigades, pompous and supposedly educated middle-class........ I don't fit all the criteria! Oh no!

(Rocking in a corner and sucking my thumb - I will will never be a true Gransnetter!)

I've never heard such bunkum. Can't people talk about being treated fairly and with respect, without being name called?

Oh when - if they could, that would make it a forum for pompous, educated, middle class people - perish the thought

What we all really really want is a forum for racist bigots who laugh like drains at blacked up people