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My grandson Harry

(31 Posts)
susie2907 Mon 30-Jun-14 16:12:28

Harry has lived with us, his grandparents, on and off for most of his 14 soon to be 15yrs. His mum and dad divorced, acrimoniously, almost 10yrs ago. His mother has recently met her new partner and is to be married in Aug this year.His dad remarried almost 7yrs ago and has had little contact. My daughters new partner has persuauded my daughter that Harry should live with a parent, and it is to be Harry's choice, except.....he can only choose between his mum or his dad. which will mean a school change either way, his older sisters live with us, they are both over 18. I dont want to upset his mum, but feel this is unreasonable. HELP I NEED SOME FEEDBACK, thanks x

kittylester Tue 01-Jul-14 07:41:16

It seems to me that it would make sense to suggest that things stay the same until Harry has finished his GCSEs and then a rethink might be in order! Lots of things could have changed by then!

A big worry for you! flowers

Soutra Tue 01-Jul-14 08:50:07

If Harry agteed to it would a trial year (say) where he stays with you in term timr snd spends some of his school holidays with his 'new" family be a practical idea? This woud provide some continuityin his education as well as his home life while not closing doors. A family row could have disastrous consequences all round and Harry's father's opinion also needs to be hear. The bottom line is of course Harry's happiness and well being and I can imagine the poor kid is feeling very confused and pulled in differenr directions.

GillT57 Tue 01-Jul-14 11:57:39

Does this new man have any children of his own? If he has he is gravely mistaken if he thinks they can all suddenly live together like one big happy family! Or is he one of those people who have no children but are experts in raising children, we have all met people like him with their theories angry

Tegan Tue 01-Jul-14 12:44:31

I'm seriously worried about why this man wants a teenage boy living with them; imo men in a new relationship want their partners all to themselves. The only reason I can think of is that, perhaps this man is searching for some sort of happy family life that he's never had [perhaps he was an orphan?] or he's an engineering type [like my ex]who had dreams of having a son that he could strip car engines down with etc [which never happened; they both like taking engines apart but not in the same garage].Either way, it's totally unfair on the boy.

HollyDaze Tue 01-Jul-14 13:11:28

Speak with Harry to find out how he feels about it all and reassure him that you will do everything you can to ensure that his wishes are adhered to.

If he wants to remain with you, then, as others have said, you need to seek legal advice quite quickly to find out exactly how you stand.