looking after grandkids

I think your DGD has the best of both worlds. I am sure she will look back on her time with both Grans with pleasure.

I would always plan activites when my GCs were small, but often they would prefer less structure. The 6 of them are now aged between 9 and 15, and all say their favourite thing here is the 10 metre length of parachute fabric on which they slide down my steeply sloping garden. I love doing it too, but the old knees take a hammering at the bottom, despite adding a large cushion and piece of memory foam to absorb the shock.

You are doing a great job, relax and enjoy it, if your DD is happy about the arrangements it is not your worry.

As long as the little one is safe I really would not worry about it.

It is good that this little lass is getting different sorts of experiences - one structured, the other laid back. She will learn to be adaptable: to enjoy the more formal activities, and also to learn how to muddle through with others and use their own imaginations to make up games. She is a lucky girl.

Not a reason for anxiety at all.

I have just had 20 month old GS to stay for 3 days and he has spent some of that time amusing himself (mainly with mud/water and a water pistol!) and some time doing things with me. He has washed the car with Papa, and found bits of train track to put together by himself. He has sat and sung to himself, having the odd dreamy "down time." Children need a variety, so please do not worry.

There never was any structure in my children's days when they were small - they drank when they were thirsty, but sat down to lunch with everyone else. They decided what they might like to do and set about making it happen - with my help when needed.

You do things your way and leave other grandma to her ways - that is fine. "Running around and shouting" is great fun and educational in its own way. She is learning that it is OK to let your hair down and go a bit wild sometimes. She is learning about other people and how they are all different. I can't say that I ever vetted my children's friends - they just worked out who they liked, and we had middle class friends and those of my then cleaner, whose life was a bit chaotic to say the least!

If your DD has no problem with it, then neither should you. Relax and enjoy your happy times with you DGD.

Some parents are exactly how you were with your own DD. Some grandparents are exactly how you are with your DGD. However life is very diverse and everyone has their own ideas of how to do things.
Your way is very structured and quite regimented whereas her other nan sounds quite laid back.
Neither approach is wrong and neither approach is right. They are just different and that gives your DGD a real insight into how life will be and she will get used to the idea of facing different outlooks on life.
As long as both grandparents love her and she is safe and happy then I wouldn't give a moments thought to how her other nanny is running her ship. You are the captain of your own vessel so steer it in a way that feels best to you and let others get on with their own ways.

Oh dear! I think they're going to get plenty if structure at school! I too put some toys out and they choose what they want to do. When they get fed up with those I get something else out. The older ones can play with whatever toys are available - they know where they are.

We have a big garden and I too like to keep an eye on them especially the nearly 2 year old but I let him run around with the others if he wants to. We have has other children to play and with a few house rules they seem to be ok. I do worry that they might hurt themselves but looking back at my own childhood I was much freer than my GC. Give them some rope is my advice - but just keep an eye on them. However if you're happier doing it in this particular way, why not? The contrast with the two grannies seem an ideal scenario on reflection.

Cress- yes just the two of them and her partner but I don't have much to do with him, they are all ive got int he world apart from a nasty grumpy old mother who complains all day and a FIL who is dying with cancer.
So I worry about them, suppose if I had lots of grandkids I would have more to think about but DD wants just the one

Silverfish, have you just got the one daughter & grandchild?

You can't really do anything I don't think, only your DD can talk to her MIL about things. If there are no bruises or cuts and DGD seems happy about her time with MIL then it may be ok.We all worry about DGC [more than our own DC !] Perhaps MIL is really keeping an eye on them all, but I think it's too young and agree with you that she should be careful with a little tot.

roses-my daughter is so worried but as she has to rely on MIL for childcare she cant argue, however she says Im too strict but I tell her its just because DGD is so young, next summer I can take her to activities etc. I fear DGD will fall and seriously damage herself but it may be me too much a worrier

BTW I think AKA was LOL-ing at the remark by aggie

I used to do much the same as you silverfish when my children were small. In any case your DGD at 2 years old is too young to be charging around with older children. Have a word with your DD about things, is she worried about this, or relaxed?

whats so funny AKA, I meant this as a serious subject, hopefully some one would give me advice

LOL

my lot run in and out , painting stuff and other games are available as wanted , but no way could I be as structured as this , I believe that they will meet all sorts at school so better get used to it . The odd hint that so and so won't share and they might get a word from me and excluded gently if they are too much of a tearaway . However Two of my DDs are still pals with the worst of the gang and have had a leavening influence on them ,and stopping my lot from being insular snobs