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Unwanted pregnancies - why so many?

(58 Posts)
granjura Mon 04-Aug-14 11:42:34

In my grand-mas day, and my mum's, until the late 50s- it happened all the time. But why do I hear of so many unwanted pregancies now? There are so many different means of contraception, which are very effective- and the after-pill too. So yes, it can still happen- a contraceptive can fail, and rape does happen- extreme and very rare occurrences in the 'First' world - so why?

thatbags Tue 05-Aug-14 14:47:31

'Accidents' never happen?

Actually, scrub that. What I meant to say is sometimes contraception fails so unwanted teenage pregnancies will happen just as unplanned non-teenager pregnancies still happen.

Tegan Tue 05-Aug-14 14:39:51

I worked for a Catholic doctor several years ago that could still be awkward when it came to prescribing the morning after pill sad.

granjura Tue 05-Aug-14 14:34:48

Totally Hilda- the difference being nowadays that no-one needs become pregnant unless they want to- with all the education, adivce, free clinics and free contraception, etc, etc. So why does it happen so often still today? Rates of abortion are indeed coming down slowly- but why so slowly? Thew should practically have disappeared and become very rare events indeed.

As said, it is linked to low aspirations perhaps, low self-esteem- and perhaps a sort of need to play Russian Roulette with one's body and hormones (talking about NOW- not in the past when contraception, support and education were not so freely avaialble). I suppose I am VERY lucky, that even as a younger teenager I felt I could take responsibility for my actions, take my courage in both hands and go and see GP ans ask, and feel empowered by the fact I was in charge of my body- and note 'good or bad luck'. Rates of unwanted pregnancy and abortion are much higher in UK than most of Europe (perhaps all, must check)- and I am often asked why- and don't know how to respond. Thanks all for your very interesting comments.

thatbags Tue 05-Aug-14 14:32:10

Still happened when it was seriously frowned upon though, didn't it? Disapproval wasn't a very successful deterrent. There were just more babies for adoption. It would be interesting to see the figures from, say, a hundred years ago and now and compare the proportion of teenage pregnancies to population size.

HildaW Tue 05-Aug-14 13:29:20

HollyDaze, agree with much of what you say and although I'd never ever want a return of the days where girls lived in total terror of falling pregnant and facing family hostility, social disgrace, and the loss of a baby to adoption or worse, I do wish that the down sides of being a single parent before your education is complete and you have started to live your own life where better understood by those who view it as simply another option to the lives they have. Parents have a real duty to guide their growing children into slowly understanding that although families can be all sorts of variations, there are huge drawbacks to certain configurations. No need to scare your children into forced celibacy until they are married/30ish but, on the other hand, being almost complicit through lack of guidance or indifference, to a school girl of 16 becoming a mother is not doing them any favours.

HollyDaze Tue 05-Aug-14 12:55:07

It may happen as there are no real consequences anymore to having a baby out of wedlock or even as a single parent. At one time, it would have been seriously frowned upon and the baby more than likely given up for adoption. If the baby remained with the mother, the family rallied around and supported it. Now, with housing and income (and child care paid for?), I doubt it's seen as a huge problem; until they realise they can't go out as much as they used to! So where is the necessity to bother with contraception?

HildaW Tue 05-Aug-14 11:54:00

I think my point is that once there is HONEST 'mutual respect, affection/like and a sensible attitude to birth AND STD control, you have pretty much taken it out of the 'casual sex' range. If people are honest about the level of the relationship and whether there is a risk of pregnancy then the sorts of incidents that is being discussed on at least one of the threads on GN would not be happening.

thatbags Tue 05-Aug-14 08:03:44

When you say "so many", you do realise teenage pregnancies in developed countries have been falling steadily, if slowly, for some time now? So long that continues we're on the right track.

The US is a special case, "case" being the operative word.

Eloethan Tue 05-Aug-14 00:33:02

I have no strong views about "casual sex" provided both parties respect and like each other, are not bowing to peer pressure and take steps to avoid unwanted pregnancies/sexually transmitted infections. Equally, I see nothing wrong with people who prefer to be in more committed relationships - or wish to be married - before embarking on sex.

petra Mon 04-Aug-14 20:33:04

Numberplease. That must have been terrifying. I can't imagine what was going through your head. No surprises for me when I got older. I was about 13 when a friend told me what happens in the sex act.
And I was 14 when my Mums water broke while we were all watching the telly. LOL. If the ambulance had been a bit longer coming I think I would have helped deliver my Brother ( with my Mums help, of course)

granjura Mon 04-Aug-14 17:35:41

btw I really don't think that makes you 'old-fashioned- at all.

granjura Mon 04-Aug-14 17:01:51

Indeed Hilda- so sad really. I am very lucky to be able to say I only had sex with very special people in loving relationships, even though i started quite young (but took responsibility so was not too young I suppose). No regrets- whatsoever.

HildaW Mon 04-Aug-14 16:54:41

I'm probably a bit old fashioned.....though I had my day and can distinctly remember praying nightly on a few occasions that I was not 'in trouble'. However, my mad passionate stages were always with someone pretty special (at the time) and not that dreadful thing nowadays called recreational sex. I worry that there is a whole generation, or at least a sturdy chunk of it that have, through peer pressure and modern media influences, grown up as seeing sex as something akin to a hobby or a the ending of a good night out.

granjura Mon 04-Aug-14 16:50:49

I realise that often happen then for the older ones among us. But in the 60s we all knew what's what and what to do, no? And I lived in a rural area of Switzerland... not London.

I was terrified of going to the GP, my parents' friend, with one of my mum's best friend as receptionist- but even at 16 I knew that if I was sexually active- it was my responsibility to ensure I didn't get pregnant until I and partner were ready. Not saying this to boast- but that just the way it was for me, and my partner. The GP was wonderful- and gave me the pill. He shook my hand and said how pleased he was I took responsibility, as he was fed up with organising abortions or adoptions.

But, as said, talking about NOW- as all youngsters know how and what's what.

I'd say £25 is very cheap, really- and there must be birth control clinics that charge less. I do wonder what the possible effects could be on girls/women who use a post sex pill on the regular basis??

Tegan Mon 04-Aug-14 16:48:23

The biological urge to have sex gets a lot stronger at certain times of the month, though [or, at least it did....]

Riverwalk Mon 04-Aug-14 16:25:51

Nonu grin

Nonu Mon 04-Aug-14 16:23:37

I emember when I was attending ante-natal classes and being shown a film of a baby being born.Nearly died of shock TBH, know it seems strange , but that is perfectly true!
shock

Riverwalk Mon 04-Aug-14 16:21:50

Elegran I think it's the strong biological urge to have sex that's at the root of it! smile

As an aside, last week I overheard a smartly-dressed, well-spoken 20-something ask for the morning-after pill at the pharmacy .... it costs £25.

number shock

numberplease Mon 04-Aug-14 16:09:21

Petra, in reference to your question to Gillybob, I was 19, nearly 20, when I got pregnant for the first time, and no, I didn`t know till then just how babies were made, I thought you could get pregnant by kissing! And, shocking though it may sound, I only found out how babies were actually BORN, a few weeks before I had eldest daughter. I lived with my grandma, who flatly refused to discuss such things, and all that was covered in biology at school was what happened with frogs!

Elegran Mon 04-Aug-14 16:06:40

Human nature and hormones don't change though, granjura. There is still a strong biological urge to reproduce, even when the conscious mind knows it would not be a good idea.

granjura Mon 04-Aug-14 16:02:36

Not talking about then- but about now. Every one has access to sex ed and advice re contraception- no-one is clueless (mind you, how can you be clueless if you are having sex, really? ;) )

Tegan Mon 04-Aug-14 15:40:57

It was more luck than judgement that stopped me becoming pregnant in my teens, so much so that I assumed, when I was older and wanted to start a family, that I wouldn't be able to. One thing does stick in my mind though, an entry in my diary when I was concerned that my luck had ran out which said 'am I pregnant; do I want to be?' Given that, until modern times, women would have expected to have had several babies by the time they were twenty there must be a very strong biological [albeit subconsious] urge to concieve when quite young [by todays standards, that is].

petra Mon 04-Aug-14 15:19:09

I have to ask the question,gillybob. When you were 17+ did you not know how babies were made. Just curios.

gillybob Mon 04-Aug-14 15:03:45

I agree with you there Elegran when I had my son at 18, I was probably one of the only girls in my class who was not using birth control. Not because I was careless but because I wouldn't have had a clue how to get it. My GP at the time was a family doctor and I just know he would have told my parents. Also I would have been terrified to even approach him to ask for it. He would have looked down his half glasses at me as though I was some kind of trollop. I was the only girl among my friends who's parents sent a letter to the school refusing for me to see a sex education film. I was completely clueless.

suebailey1 Mon 04-Aug-14 14:51:40

I understand from my friend who is a Director Of public Health that the latest research links high 'unplanned pregnancy rates to low aspirations in young women and feelings of hopelessness in times of low economic growth and poor job prospects although teenage pregnancy rates are dropping. It is however a personal mystery to me as in my youth all we wanted was not to get pregnant.