Not really had much of this except youngest daughter was horrified when I let her 18 month old have honey on some bread and butter ' not until he's 2 Mum!' she cried in horrified tones. He now at age 10 eats all his food covered in gloopy sugary sauces!!!
Neither of my daughters are at all encumbered by anything I have ever said.
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AIBU
I can honestly say that having looked after my three DGC 2 days a week from them being just a few weeks old I have never received any list or set of instructions on how to look after them. The occasional concerned text maybe if one of them has been under the weather, but nothing more. The difference might be that my son and DiL rely on me to have the children so they can work on those days plus the occasional night out, so perhaps they have thought that if they bombard me with instructions I might decide not to have them afterall. Or maybe they just trust that I will make the right decision as to the care of my grandchildren? My DiL is very laid back and never stresses over anything unless it has 4 legs, neighs and eats oats 
I can understand you being miserable about this silverlining48 you must feel like pointing out that to be a grandma you are also a mother . Sorry can't offer any useful advice but I do hope someone comes along soon with some experience of this.
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