This is a dilemma I have been dealing with for many years.My grandson is 17 now and his parents split up when he was five.His Mother just disappeared out of his life one day and did not return for 8 months and this set her pattern until now.She come and goes with no warning ;sometimes he lived with her part -time sometimes not .
My son has been consistently there.Sadly he is only there physically as he has lived a full life,despite being a single parent, engaging in many political and other activities as well as his job as a University lecturer.His method of parenting seemed to me to be shouting at his son to be quiet from behind a book or a newspaper.My grandson has spent his life distracting himself from the emotional pain of losing his Mother and having a father who is not really present.He has been full-on, pushing the boundaries,hyper- active a
The situation with his Mother has never been discussed with him and I have had to watch more times than I can count whilst she let him down.
The issue I would so appreciate help with is that since she is around sometimes and as my son lives with him, I can do very little to remedy the difficulties for him. I now see the damage it has caused.He did not do well at school despite being bright .He had learning support as it is possible he is dyslexic but my son denies there is any thing wrong apart from the fact his Mother deserted him.Now he has left school and I moved to be near him to help support him as his relationship with his father was becoming more and more strained.My son is constantly loudly angry and hostile with him and highly critical of him.He gives him very little money and buys him few clothes or shoes so I step in and do those things and I give him pocket money.Now my son is shouting at me for giving him money as he says he buys beer with it.
I am supporting him in getting a place at college but his Mother encourages him to drink and laughs when he goes partying.She is like an immature pal to him not a parent.
Tonight I have just had my son on the phone shouting at me again about how irresponsible my grandson is and an endless list of criticisms of him.I am at my wits end.His grandfather on my son's side, takes no part in his life.He has a sister,my grand daughter, who is 5 years older and she has survived better, graduating this year and now living with her nice boyfriend and working.
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