Wrong and utterly stupid pronunciations...

We chose a new sofa from those on show, then called the assistant over to make the sale. "I see you have chosen the Kezaney", said he.

Umm, no, we had picked the Cezanne.

Me again! I worked in a grocery store when I was a teenager.One of the assistants there always asked for more supplies of "dedicated coconut" and "coronation milk" she was always deadly serious!!

I have always found the word 'caramel' difficult to say. Yep, it's become camarel.

And my dear gran was Gar, because my eldest cousin couldn't say Grandma.

And my son regularly confused apparently and allegedly (He was 3 at the time) and came out with apparegdly.

But there are current awful mispronunciations too - "nucular" "jullery" "pronounciation" "chalislands" (SW local weather forecaster) and so on.

This really should be in Pedants' Corner, should it not?

My mom used to say "Anty Queues" instead of Antiques!

Going the other way - I was talking to someone about Audrey Hepburn's gorgeous yellow coat in Charade, said it was designed by Gi-ven-chy (english pronun.)
She corrected me "Ji von shy".

My ex says All-dee-berg instead of Aldeburgh. Secatary is another pet hate, I am sure I can think of a few more

DD: Ballballs instead of Baubles
Uncle: Chimbly (chimney) thilthy (filthy)
Beach hut friend -again - Gillett (hard G and pronouncing the t's)

A good friend always mispronounces tickle as 'tittle' and ankle as 'antle'. I know she would write them correctly, so I think it may be a local dialect thing.

Old station dog was Alsation as far as my grandfather was concerned.

Until fairly recently I thought cotoneaster was pronounced cotton easter.

I have great difficulty keeping a straight face when my brother talks about his 'prostrate' but he'd be put out if I laughed.

My grandmother used to pronounce Fibogel 'Fi bo gul' with the emphasis on the second syllable which I thought suited the product more somehow.

Incidentally, when somebody mispronounces a word, is it best to use the correct pronunciation when it is your turn to say it or tactfully repeat their error?

Is she from Manchester, anno

I have a friend from there and she always says 'lickle' and 'hospikal'
(the other way round of course)

petallus I used to say it correctly when MIL pronounced words incorrectly (she was very good at Spoonerisms as well) but she didn't notice and carried on happily. I never told her.

I think I have related this tale before, so I apologise first off.

My dear mum said one day. "You'll never guess what they said on the radio today". 'What mum". 'Well they said a man was walking his dog in Abbey Park and it ran into a bush and came out with a 'condiment' in his mouth". She thought it was very funny bless her. I said "What do you think a 'condiment' is mum". She said "You know one of them Durex thingies men 'wear'".

We always said Hilda Baker must have based 'She knows y'know' on mother.

We always put our condiments on the table

Well, it's good to get round the table and get things out in the open once in a while, rosequartz!

As a girl I often went to the milk depot to buy an extra pint for my grandma but never saw it written. Playing with my younger cousin he was writing notices for a game we were playing an said 'I'll write the depot sign' I remember blushing as I thought what a clot I would have looked if I'd written it, deppo!

And at Christmas we wished each other the condiments of the season. My dad loved spoonerisms and one of this favourites in wet weather was 'it's roaring with pain'.

When I was small we had a traveling shop call. It was from the Home and Colonial but I could never get my mouth around that and always called it the Home and Tickle only. Amazing the memories that bounce back when you read postings on this forum.

my daughter used to say beetfruit for beetroot, diangle for diagonal and 'old timers disease' for altzheimers (not sure of spelling).

Could someone please tell me the correct pronunciation of assume? I was brought up with assume, but so many people now say ashume.

No, rosequartz - she's from Barnsley.

In the geordie accent we say ;Hood; food etc but we used to tease my late MIL because she tried to talk 'posh' saying 'hud', fud' etc.
Anyone else wear a 'hud' or eats their 'fud' ?

My youngest grandson (two) enjoys nothing more than rolling out and cutting shapes with Plato. However, the most delightful mispronunciation that I have ever heard was Gordon Brown being very serious about the terrorist threat from alchy Ada.

It was years before I discovered that hyperbole was NOT pronounced hyper bowl and that parabola wasn't para bowl! I'd only read them and never heard them spoken! In our family we always talk about things being pictureskew or antikew I find that deliberately mispronouncing something in my head helps me remember the correct spelling.

I have given up trying to correct my SiL's pronunciation of Nucular and Aluminum!

My Nana, re DS1 "He's got a bit of nappy rash on his little peanut"

My sister IL's MIL convinced that Pavarotti was to blame for the death of Princess Di (paparazzi)
Mind, she also thought it was really cruel when they allowed one dinosaur to kill another dinosaur in front of the cameras during Jurassic Park.