Why do I have such a DIL?

What is "normal"?

In a normal conversation face to face with a stranger who told us that their grandchild was being abused, we would ask whether it had been reported. If we were then told that the grandmother feared that if the mother knew that it had been reported, she would face having her grandchild kept from her, we would tell that grandmother in no uncertain terms that the priority is the child.

We might also be doubtful about the whole thing, if we had discovered before that some people had found that we could be wound up. Windups have happened on the forum. Some people even claim that they were "just winding you up" when they have posted something that made others angry. In a real conversation, there are times when the only reply is "Pull the other leg!"

OP did say she was in a remote rural area of the US. Wel done elegran for the child rotection link I hope OP finds it useful. This situation is horrifying , a clear case of abuse not to say cruelty and I hope this little boy will enjoy a better life soon. (" Pappy" seems to me to be DIL's stepfather am I right?)

I didn't report it, as I thought advising in a post was the way to do it.
Not sure of the protocol.

I am worried about this child though, poor little chap.

I believe you, jings, but am I?
I do sometimes wonder.

Perhaps people were reporting it because they were worried about the child.

Well I'm normal.

Believe it or not.

Is everyone reporting anything they think might possibly be a bit dodgy to GNHQ now? I don't really think that's the way to go, either...

I think this is a genuine cry for help, but at one time I did think it could be someone posting to get a reaction, as there are some very strange people out there.

Normal conversations between normal people - how can we be sure?

Apologies again, mrsmac, for doubting you.

Julie - don't you think it is a bit unrealistic to expect us to watch our every word on here? These are normal conversations between normal people.

msmac, the fact that his teachers are looking out for signs is comforting. Teachers see them every day.

I feel for you.

Again apologies, mrsmac. I have read your post properly (didn't read it properly the first time because it was upsetting).

I now realise that 'pappy' is your DIL's father; it sounds as if she comes from an abusive background and the abuse is being carried on by her father on his grandson.

This child must be helped and I hope this happens asap.

Good luck, don't give up.

Here is a list of Child Protection Services in the US, state by state. Find your state in this list and report this direct to the CPS. Bypass the police if they think that abusive oparents should not be stopped.

https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/reslist/rl_dsp.cfm?rs_id=5&rate_chno=11-11172

I assumed that you were in the UK, mrsmac, sorry.

The NSPCC is a British charity - the National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children. I don't know if you have the equivalent in the US.

I will say that DGD has lost two of her teeth already at the age of 5, which is quite young (and they are cleaned and she goes to the dentist regularly, so not through decay), and some of her schoolfriends seem to have lost theirs too. Are you sure they were not hanging on and they pulled them out in case he swallowed them?

If not, I really think that this needs to be reported to the authorities; if you feel unable to do so then perhaps you could enlist the help of his kindergarten teacher and/or his doctor.

'Pappy' is presumably your son; I am sorry that you may have to be in this position but this little boy is the one who needs your help by the sounds of it. Hitting a little child to 'turn him into a man' is abuse. It may happen, but it is not right and the authorities should be investigating.

My post did not assume that it was not genuine - I am ready to believe msmac. But I do not think that she can leave this as it is. There must be on the US an equivalent organisation to the one that in the Uk is called the National Society for the Protection of Children. No civilised country would allow its children to be treated like this.

I think you are in the USA msmac. We don't have "school boards" in the UK. It's difficult to make any further suggestions as we don't know the American systems but it's equally difficult to believe that there are no agencies there who would advise you. One thing for certain is that this little boy needs help urgently.

jinglbellsfrocks-thank you for at least believing me. I guess it is something no one wants to hear. I thought I could just call and report it and things would change, well it didn't and around here, the law actually gives the abused kids back to the parents and you know what happens. The kids generally get it worse than before. I want to do it the right way, so my gs won't have to keep enduring anything.
I have reported, I have a report number, I have his teacher watching him for signs. I can not make police arrest someone just because I want them. Could anyone on here?

" home visit" was what that should have read.

Ah crossed posts - I still think that even where the system is different, the people I have mentioned plus the evidence you have quoted would warrant a hime visit or investigation from a social worker. Do not give up.

I feel very strongly that this could be a child at risk - if not from his parents, then from his grandfather. Did you actually tell SS the form that the abuse has taken? After so many cases in which warning signs have been discounted, they should be hyper-aware of such information. Surely grandparents are in a prime position to notice and report - and to be taken seriously. It's just not good enough to say that they get a lot of such calls from gps. Even if some are false alarms, the next one could lead to a headline in the Mail.

You say he is 5 but that he started Kindergarten last month- not "big school"? That is why I asked if your are in the UK. And children do not lose their baby teeth at such an early age - why did the dentist not query it? You have a duty to enlist the support of your DGS's teacher, the health professionals and to take action

I don't know what NSPCC is. No one could make this up. If they do, they are sick. I live in a very rural area of the US. Again, I will leave..I certainly do not need people writing things about me. I have a bad enough situation. This place is to help and understand, not be cruel and judging. I would not judge anyone on here. I would try and give advice and understand and empathy.

Soutra- the teeth pulling was prior to starting Kindergarten-happened last month. His mother had just taken him to the dentist and so no new visit coming up.
Yes, mh, my son all know about it. No one wants to do anything. mh told me to keep out of it. But, I didn't listen and called anyway.
I have a friend who is on the school board and had advised his teacher to watch for things, so I am trying with all my heart. I can only do what I can. Please understand how hard it is for me. That is why I turned to this forum. But, unfortunately, I guess some don't think I am for real.

Just wondering if you are in the UK, msmac? if not perhaps procedures are different where you live (I note you use the words "mom" and "pappy" - US?) Not being nosey, just trying to find a way through this nightmare story.