To all,
I am sorry about the very nasty comment. I did not give people enough time to respond. I was very sharp. I was also hurting and not thinking correctly.
I can answer some of the questions:
We have tried to sit around the table, everything is "ironed out" and in a reasonable, adult manner, but then when my DIL gets a bug up her butt (and it doesn't take much) all bets are off and she's right back at it.
Yes, this situation has been going on for awhile. Everything will be fine, they like us, come visit, we can visit with our grandson...until they get what they want, ie money, help with bills, something fixed, do her wash etc. after that, they don't know us again.
My son comes up to yell because his wife tells him to make us do things and he feels the need to yell about these things if we do not do as she wishes-I will give you an example, she text me and said we do not call our grandson, well yes we had been calling every other night, but no one answered..they only use cell phones and our grandson does not have his own, so we call the DIL and our son's. We left messages and they never returned our calls. She then sent the text saying we were not calling, and then sent my son up to yell about it. Go figure.
Yes, princess is a 3 week old that the 5 year old has been tossed aside for. My DIL will not put her down and yells a lot at the 5 year. No she is not post partum and was not when she has done some pretty horrible things.
Her father was actually teaching my grandson to call me a B----, because he doesn't like me or so I was told.. She did not even get upset. Imagine, teaching a 5 year old to call someone that name. I may be one at times, but never to my grandson and he should not be taught to call me that.
I do not interfere, give unsolicited advice, show up unannounced, all the stuff you are not suppose to do. I also will not be a door mat. I have just begun to take this attitude though. I was one for a long time until I realized that I was being used.
She has made it so that the 5 year has never met or spoke with anybody except my husband and me on the paternal side. It is all her family and step-family. My mother has never spoke with or saw him. They have driven past her house numerous times though.
When I was "doing things for her on a constant basis, taking them to dinner, my husband fixing things...all was well. When she decided one time because she could be, she did not let us see him for two months.
And repeat, and repeat... you get the idea. I feel like I am on a roller coaster and can't get off.
Again sorry to be so rude yesterday.