To think he should knock.......

Yep!!

I with your DH! Not sure I'd say anything but, maybe, lock the back door when he is due - now the clocks are going back and everything!!

Wouldn't bother me in the least, when he's expected and come to collect his boys. My SiL has his own key though the situation is different as there's no family split. If he was just turning up without a reason, then perhaps he ought to knock.

Why are your doors unlocked anyway? Anyone could walk in.

I think it would be a bit sad, understandable but do you want to make him feel awkward? Because he will feel hurt.

I think he should knock and then walk in, if the door's unlocked. But as jane says, it's not worth making an issue out of.

It wouldn't bother me unless the split was acrimonious and he was trying to make life difficult for DD

He's done plenty to upset DD. DH doesn't care if he upsets him I'd rather keep the peace.

Anya Our back door is always unlocked it is the other side of a 6" solid gate.

I'd just lock the door so you have to let him in.

I can understand why your OH feels he ought to knock - but it certainly is not something to rock the boat over - keeping a good relationship so the GC can still be a part of your lives is far more important.

I agree with Mishap. Making him knock could make the situation seem more strange to the GCs.

Also you might need his help over something in the future. FiL always says to me, leave the door a little bit open, so I do try to, and he has been right.

FarNorth thank you. I have just read your post to DH, his response.....

"Hmm, I suppose that's true"

Hmmm. Interesting. My son and daughter and their partners always ring the front doorbell before they come into my house, and tell me off if I open it without having to unlock it. They expect it to be locked. They have keys which they can use to get straight in, but even so they would ring then unlock.

If Ex-SiL can get past your 6ft high gate to reach your unlocked back door, then so can anyone else. My move would be to lock the doors for safety, that would force him to knock or ring, but without singling him out.

nina Lock your doors, it's a nasty world out there (quite apart from the sils that are about!)

I suggest you tell him a little 'porkie', saying that a neighbour found an intruder at the back of their house, therefore you are starting to lock yours. For safety you should be securing the gate and all doors anyway.

In the interests of security, the Police recommend locking all doors because bogus callers often work in pairs. One knocks or rings at the front door while the other slips round the back to see if the back door is unlocked. While you respond to the first, the second walks in and ransacks your handbag. You can legitimately quote this recommendation to your ex-SiL. Oh, and keep a chain on the front door.

My sons would be livid with me if I didn't lock the doors. They expect to have to ring the doorbell. I can see that you don't want to rock the boat with sil though. It's a tricky one. But on balance I think you should lock the doors and therefore he would have to knock.

The idiot doesn't come on our house at all - don't know why - but DD has to take the children out to him on the drive!

Oh heavens I never have an unlocked door!!

I don't understand about the gate. Is the gate locked? How do people get in through it? (I don't want to burgle your house, just trying to understand the set-up!) How is the gate any protection from intruders if SiL can get through it?
Personally we keep everything locked, even upstairs windows if we are out.

Starling we do too. It's in the Terms and Conditions of most house contents insurances.

We haven't had anything stolen in our village for years and years, so no-one I know locks there doors apart from incoming Londoners. They give up after about two years because everyone looks at them in amazement when they hear they lock their doors. The last 'burglary' was three years ago, of two boys bikes left on a grass verge somewhere.

Our front and back doors are never locked during the day. Our children, their partners and close friends just walk in and shout for us. I understand the fear of burglaries but we've lived here 25 years with no problems at all.

I sympathise with nina, but I'd try and keep things as normal as possible, for the sake of the children.

When I was a young mother we lived in a big detached double fronted house in a quiet street which had never had any burglaries. I habitually left the front and back doors unlocked.

One day I was changing sheets upstairs in a bedroom and I heard the front door open and close. I looked down the stairwell to see a man climbing the stairs.

I asked him what he was doing and he mumbled something about thinking it was flats and he was looking for a friend. I told him to get out and luckily he ran off down the stairs and back out the front door.

My two young children were having their lunchtime nap in their bedroom, so I was very shaken. After that I always locked the doors. You just don't know who is out there.

None of us should leave outside doors unlocked due to basic security concerns. It's a situation opportunistic bag snatchers love. If I am not round and about in the kitchen I keep that door locked as well.