I find that I increasingly dont like being together as a family. I get on well with my children as individuals, but when they are all together somehow I often find myself feeling hurt or upset. The end result is that I am increasingly avoiding being anywhere where they are all together.
I dont like crowds and I increasingly hate Christmas.
Its small things, which, if I had any common sense I would ignore. For example, I coloured my hair. My elder daughter invited us all to meet for lunch, but when we were together my younger daughter told me she didnt like my hair. The others agreed with her. My younger daughter had a party at her house, when I arrived my family were all together as a group ie my children - two other sons and a daughter plus one partner. The first thing they did when I joined them was to all spend a couple of minutes joking about how aweful my hair was. I felt that I was under a barrage of criticism. Of course after a couple of minutes I went to sit down on my own..
On Christmas day as a present for under the tree I had made my daughter a cushion. When she opened it she made no secret of the fact she didn't like it. I was left on the staircase. Sometime during the day it disappeared completely. I noticed it was nowhere in her house. I suspect she had just thrown it out with all the other rubbish.
Later on I went to the loo, all my children agreed that I had made a horrible smell. I didn't notice any smell myself, I may have done, but I left the toilet clean.
A few weeks ago it got back to me that at a meal I wasn't at they had been joking about my toilet in my house being covered with crap, even on the seat. I won't go into how it got back to me, but I did ask my younger daughter if it was true, who denied it strongly.
Am I being over sensitive? Somehow I end up really not wanting to be with them when they are all together, as it seems to give people permission to say or do these things.
I have tried asserting myself back, and I have tried telling them it upsets me, both to no avail The result is that I increasingly just don't want to be around, however that just cuts me off. I just end up feeling hurt. I just wonder how they would feel if I said the same things to them.
because you need some kindness.