bettering oneself

Oops silly me thinking AIBU was a question which you could answer or even <whisper> express an opinion. but no, the thought police say "no can do" so just because it is not hurting me one iota I may not comment. How do you know that? And what if your censorship did hurt me deeply?
What price Free speech???? And who made you the universal arbiter?

'ethel' is honest in her views and says she would find it hard to change now; her experiences have formed her views and how many of us have not changed one jot as a result of life experiences? How many Gnetters have true friends who behave badly and use bad language in general conversation in public? Come on, be honest!

We do.

17.58.
To KATY by the way.x

There you go sweetie, we gals know what"s what eh?

My DB referred to each other as 'our kid' ( accent from a few miles further north than Brummijum)

I think you should leave ETHEL to have her own thoughts Soutra,
It is not hurting or affecting you one iota , IMO.

Yes Nonu - We have always said 'going into town'. Younger folk now say 'going into Birmingham'. It will always be town to me

Mind you KATY , I have theory that true "Brummies " call Birmingham City Centre TOWN. It is just the newbies that call it the City Centre .

I am Birmingham born & raised by the way.

Ethel I am surprised that you can be so judgmental of other people when you admit you set out to "better" yourself in your early years. Both in your judgement of yourself and of others, your "criteria" are so flawed they belong in a different decade-like the Fifties.
Surely you must see that you cannot judge the real worth of a person or their value in our society by externals like jogging bottoms? Look around you and try to see through your prejudices-I am sure you would be a more tolerant and ultimately a happier person.

I'm a right Brummie me our kid (which incidentally I have never heard a Brummie say) We now live very near to the Black Country. Most people assume that all Brummies speak like Black Country people, especially in TV dramas, adverts etc (and that most of us are thick) but the accents are very different. When we first moved here and went shopping in the nearest town, I had no clue what anyone was saying. We went into Woolworths and asked the assistant if they had a tin of paint in a certain colour. Her reply was 'If it ay on the shelf we ay gor it'

Juliette duck, as I have lived in various parts of the country I'm sure my Midlands accent has been modified over the years.
Someone who lives nearby recognised it as she went to college in the Midlands and pinpointed it quite accurately, however my Midlands friends think I sound Welsh now .

Yay, numberplease, my mam was a GPO telephonist and she insisted I spoke GPO English at home. I spoke 'Ull when lurkin out wi m' ma'es because it saved me from geddin me 'ed kicked in for being posh.

I am afraid I tend to start using the accent of the person I am talking to if it is pronounced, I do this quite unconsciously. After time with my 2yr old DGS I start to use Yorkshire vowels.

Thank heavens very few people now speak like BBC Announcers in the 1960s. I still remember a woman on a bus in the late 1950s who said "orf" instead of off.

I like our regional accents but it does help if they are modified enough for most English speakers to comprehend. Some intense regional accents can be so heavy only locals could under stand them.

When I lived in Bristol, which has a very distinctive west country accent several school friends were sent to elocution lessons. I was considered to talk posh as I didn't have a Bristol accent, just my East Midlands flat vowels.

I don't think now elocution teachers try to abolish regional accents but just make sure diction is clear and not mumbled.

I would hope that as we get older, we learn to judge by appearances less. Some people have terrible tragedies and learn to hide it well and paint on a smile for the world. Some are less able to do so.

I learned never to judge by appearances when I worked for a charity. I regularly visited two ladies. Both would greet me at the door with a smile, well-dressed made-up and looking the picture of health but I knew that one was in constant severe pain that meant once a week she was driven to take a painkiller that gave her 24 hours of diarrhea, nausea and dizziness, but did reduce the pain and she reckoned the other symptoms were more bearable then the pain. The second was deaf, had severe meuniers disease that meant at times she had to crawl round the house and became incontinent, plus other problems. Yet to see them at the door, or the second one walking down the road during a good phase, holding her husband's arm for support, no-one seeing them could possibly realise just how ill and how difficult their lives were.

ethelbags If you wish to look down on certain people for their mode of dress, the way they speak, etc., etc., then you presumably accept that some people will also look down on you for similar reasons. Personally, I would prefer not to categorise people as "inferior to me", "equal to me" and "superior to me" because I don't want to feel bad about myself or make others feel bad about themselves.

Unless you know the entire details of a person's life, I don't understand how you could possibly assess who is a legitimate benefit claimant and who is a "scrounger".

When I was in my teens and twenties, I`d often go into town shopping with rollers in and wearing a headscarf, but wouldn`t dream of it nowadays. And hubby goes everywhere in jogging pants these days, because ordinary trousers don`t cover his stoma bag.
When I first left school, I was a GPO telephone operator for 4 years, for which I was required to speak "proper", but it came and went as I arrived at, and left, work, the rest of the time I was as common as the rest of them.

rosequartz we speak a little bit as you describe up thread but only indoors you understand.

Choosing to change how one speaks to one particular person is not doing so unconsciously

I worked in a government department for 37 years and the way some of the higher grades treated the lower grades was truly appalling.

I think changing one's accent is not so often a case of snobbishness (although it will be in some cases), it is more a case of some people being more natural mimics than others and they probably do so unconsciously.

A person can 'speak posh' and not be a snob in the slightest bit.

Another person could still have an accent (without realising it!) and be an insufferable social climber.

My cousin - now retired - has a broad Cornish accent, and Oxford University, The Treasury and the IMF had not a jot of influence on his accent. However, he moved to the IMF after a couple of years in The Treasury as he couldn't stand the snobbishness by the people there.

rose - I wouldn't wish the sight of me in mine on the great British public, I stay firmly indoors. They do a good job.

KatyK perhaps I need to look for mine, to tame my hair!
but I won't go down to Tesco in them