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Am I unreasonable in being irritated by children playing ball games very near to my home.

(53 Posts)
jo1book Sat 07-Feb-15 14:46:05

We live in a barn conversion of six homes,where 3 homes have pensioners, 1 out at work couple and two with families. During the Summer we find the noise of the children playing games very annoying. It is not all the time and I am well aware that my own grandchildren come and play. It is the thump of balls up your walls and flying over the wall that is unnerving. We are both big readers and like a quiet home. Perhaps we should move into a flat. Am I just getting grouchy or what?

tanith Sat 07-Feb-15 14:48:05

I can imagine its annoying but they are just children playing.. did you take into account the families living there when you bought/rented your home?

durhamjen Sat 07-Feb-15 14:49:18

Yes, you are being unreasonable. Children have to play.
Move into a gated compound for over 55s if you do not want kids kicking balls around.

granjura Sat 07-Feb-15 14:57:33

Agreed dj- but within reason. I love to hear kids play, laugh and even shout- but when they scream for the sake of it and start f'ing and bl'inding- it is no longer funny. And before 9am and after 8'mish is out of order too. Children should be allowed to play, but also be taught to be considerate.

When we lived in a small cul-de-sac, 1 kid would come out at 7am on a Sunday morning, and start shooting his football into the metal door of their double garage- again, and again. If my OH had been out on calls all night, it would be more than annoying. And it would drive my older next door neighbour wild with rage- despite the fact he had 3 children of his own, 1 football mad- because, yes, it was truly anti-social. The parents were asked, politely on a repeated basis, to not allow him to do this before 9am- and to play with other kids rather than the garage door- but they totally ignored it (yes, VERY middle-class owner of his own factory and butter wouldn't melt pillar of society).

soontobe Sat 07-Feb-15 15:02:58

I think that you may have to move jo1book. You say that you like a quiet home.
There is nothing to stop you ending up living alongside 5 families, not just 2.

GrannyTwice Sat 07-Feb-15 15:08:49


jinglbellsfrocks Sat 07-Feb-15 15:25:58

They should not be throwing or kicking the balls upagainst the walls of the shared barn conversion. That is unreasonable.

whenim64 Sat 07-Feb-15 15:40:29

How about a council house semi? grin

merlotgran Sat 07-Feb-15 15:41:14

DD2 lives in a close where you can't park your car outside your house and the small green outside has a 'no ball games' notice. Their children were all under 12 when they moved there but they've never felt put out by this rule.

There's a nearby park for football games. Yes, children have to play but I can't think of anything worse than the noise of balls being kicked against your wall or fence.

goldengirl Sat 07-Feb-15 16:45:19

We used to live in a cul de sac and the children used to meet up after school and during the school holidays and play in the road - it was very safe in those days but unfortunately not any more. I did ask an elderly person in our road if she minded but she said it was lovely to hear them at play and it wasn't for long periods of time. So it sounds as if our children were very lucky. We used to have street parties too so we became quite a little community.

So, is it unreasonable to be annoyed by children playing? Yes it is. I'm afraid I think it's a bit grouchy, especially as your grandchildren come and play too! They should be welcomed - unless they are badly behaved of course - as part of our communities.

Soutra Sat 07-Feb-15 16:54:56

Get your own back. Take the tranny out into the garden, a few hours of Val Doonican should send the indoors screaming. Or buy earplugs? If they are big children perhaps they should be out on a proper pitch, but then if they were "big" they could be revving up motorbikes. hmm

janeainsworth Sat 07-Feb-15 17:10:27

Yes, YABU.
I've just spent the afternoon pottering in my front garden. My neighbours across the road came home and the air was filled with loud Bollywood-style music.
Was I bothered?
No. They are very nice neighbours.
If you choose to live somewhere with shared access, you have to accept that the neighbours are going to be more in your face than if you'd bought an isolated cottage at the end of a long track.
However, if they are actually kicking balls against your wall, it wouldn't be unreasonable to ask them to kick their balls against their parents' walls, because of the potential damage to the mortar or whatever.
Wait till they're 12 and start throwing their cigarette ends and empty coca-cola cans into your front garden - better to establish a good relationship at this stage, if you plan to stay there.

jo1book Sat 07-Feb-15 17:13:48

The one family is fine and they have told their boys not to bang up the house wall when they see the car there. They are also polite and ready with good manners. When playing out they are supervised by strict parenting . i never go out ranting as I don't want unpleasantness, especially as my daughter brings her boys to stay. The main culprit is a left alone dad who has two rather naughty girls 3 nights a week. They play him up and he falls into the modern trap of trying to make them his friends by letting them do what they like. I think he is a bit lost with them,so am trying to be charitable. He is a man-boy (hence his partner leaving); not my favourite male type. I think, on reflection, he is more to blame than his children for lack of parental authority.

You are right about them not doing it for long; what really upsets me is that my husband gets really ratty. Thank God he hasn't got a shotgun. I have to do,like many wives, a lot of placating!

janeainsworth Sat 07-Feb-15 17:18:15

In that case you'll just have to tell your DH to CTFD grin

Soutra Sat 07-Feb-15 17:23:17


janeainsworth Sat 07-Feb-15 17:29:03

soutra Calm the f**k down. (That's an explanation, not an instruction wink)
Now there's an idea for a new emoticon grin

FarNorth Sat 07-Feb-15 17:34:36

So your problem is actually the ratty husband - yes tell him to calm down smile.
Can you go out and chat to the girls a bit, rather than complain?

Soutra Sat 07-Feb-15 17:48:25

Close the *** door?

Soutra Sat 07-Feb-15 17:49:28

Ah- should have read back! No offence taken.
That would make a useful emoticon!

Deedaa Sat 07-Feb-15 19:00:48

I remember DH being driven insane by children from the local primary school doing their cycling proficiency training outside our house when he was working nights. Then we moved round the corner and found one of our neighbours was a child minder with toddlers riding tricycles up and down the path. Problem was eventually solved when he stopped working nights wink

Mishap Sat 07-Feb-15 20:29:57

I think that if you select a barn conversion home with others in the row, then it is likely that you will get noise from others, young and old.

It is a problem when such a thing gets under your skin, because once it does it tends to grow in your mind and become more of a problem than it need be - it sounds as though your OH is in this situation.

I think you may have to move!!

annodomini Sat 07-Feb-15 20:34:08

When I was a local councillor, I was frequently approached by older residents who didn't like kids playing football out in their street. As there was nothing I could do, and at that stage I could still remember being young myself, I used to have to make sympathetic noises and hope they wouldn't come back. Sometimes I would put a little paragraph in my local leaflet very tactfully reminding parents that their little darlings could sometimes be regarded as a nuisance!

jinglbellsfrocks Sat 07-Feb-15 20:49:02

Tell the girls' father you want them to stop banging balls against the walls. Be firm about it. If they want to do that, the dad should get a detached. It's one thing to hear children playing outside, but constant banging on the wall would drive anyone mad. Being a barn conversion, does that mean the walls are wooden? That would be bad.

jinglbellsfrocks Sat 07-Feb-15 20:52:03

Why shouldn't kids be taught consideration for others?

hildajenniJ Sat 07-Feb-15 21:58:53

When I was a child we lived in a semi-detached house. We were taught to be considerate to our neighbours, and play ball games either in our own gardens, or in the local park. I would expect children to respect your property and not kick or throw balls against their neighbour's walls.