AIBU to think this is bonkers?

BTW, that last thing, about smoking, was simply a statement of fact, not a judgement. I know some people think smokers should pay for their hospital care when they need it. I don't agree with that view even though I don't understand the motives of people who take up smoking and I think they're bonkers to do it.

My dad died of lung cancer far too young. He thought smoking was bonkers too but he couldn't overcome the addiction and there weren't all the quit smoking aids there are now.

Some people still don't accept IVF because it isn't "natural". Some people don't accept vaccinations against horrible diseases because it isn't "natural".

I don't understand/can't imagine this woman's motives either, and they do seem to me a bit "unnatural", but I don't feel my understanding of other people's motives is really necessary if they are not doing any harm. I feel confident that she is not doing this in order to cause harm and harm may not come of it even though the odds would appear to be stacked against her and the babies. So why should I object? Saying "you can't do this because I don't like it, don't understand it/you, wouldn't do it myself, think you're bonkers for wanting to do it" is really rather puritanical in my view.

jess's objections based on a possible overuse of limited medical resources are most reasonable I've read on this thread, but even they are not cast in stone. People with various medical conditions are always pushing at the limits of medical provision and knowledge. We don't usually blame them for it. The only difference here is that this woman has chosen to be in the position she's in; I guess most people don't choose to be ill but quite a lot of medical conditions are brought on by bad life choices (e.g. smoking) that people have made, against advice.

There could be any number of reasons.
She might want to feel continually needed and relied on for example.
She has had a career, which is unusual.
Perhaps she just likes being pregnant. Or likes feeling like superwoman.

If once a piece of medical technology becomes mainstream and acceptable, I am very dubious about judgement of the nature or personality (not health issues) of the person seeking it becoming an issue. Is it right for a single mother, lesbian, someone with a disability or someone with mental health issues to have IVF, for example. However, I instinctively feel that someone who has already borne a large number of children and is about 15 years past the menopause is really not a suitable candidate. As I understand – and those of you with daughters who have happily benefited from IVF will correct me if I am completely wrong – the medical profession recommends not trying to go to term with quads if all implanted embryos are currently viable. I cannot help wondering what this woman's motives are. Does she just want more and more babies? There is a recognition among psychiatrists that some women just want babies and tend to lose interest once they become children, although this seems to be more prevalent among very young mothers. Does she want to go down in the record books?

I am just approaching my sixty-fifth birthday and find it very hard even to approach understanding of this woman.

Oh and don't even think about having an opinion?

I personally could not do it, but live and let live and judge ye not.

Good, because I cant find the Italian woman Ana.

Snap!

Did you mean this woman, soon?

www.theguardian.com/world/2009/jul/15/spanish-woman-ivf-dies

www.theguardian.com/world/2009/jul/15/spanish-woman-ivf-dies

Crumbs, this search is not going well.

Well, she wasn't dead yesterday.

died not dies
I will further google

I did think that I had read that she dies, but I could be wrong on that.

While googling for it, I discovered this
www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1286492/Childless-woman-66-oldest-world-birth-triplets-IVF-treatment.html

Good

I know!

I used the word light-heartedly, mishap.

Yup we don't know whether she is paying - but even if she is paying for the fertility treatment there is still the cost the birth and of 4 babies probably occupying incubators and needing expensive specialist care. (Depending on how premature - multiple birth like this unlikely to go to term)
You would have to be pretty well off to fund that - cost of an elective private C section for one baby anyone? Several thousand for sure.

I hope that too; but it seems that the odds are stacked against them. The mother is also placing herself at risk, which with lots of other young children needing her care is, to my mind, irresponsible. Not a dictat - an opinion!

Does anyone know how that other 60+ year old (Italian?) mum and her baby are doing?

She may not be allowed, mishap, but she's doing it anyway. So much for the gransnet dictats. There seems to be a consensus that they are going to be "poor innocents". Isn't it just possible that they will be happy and healthy and have a good mum? I do hope so.

I think "self-indulgent" about sums it up.

She is allowed to be self-indulgent on her own behalf but not on behalf of innocent children.

Katek, that puts my own feelings pretty well, so thanks

I honestly feel this woman has been self indulgent. (dons tin hat). bags, many people have a higher urge to drink, take drugs or indulge in other risk taking behaviours. I sympathise with them and admire those who take steps to reign in their excesses. I feel that's what this woman would have been well advised to do.

An American psychologist friend of mine once said to me that 'people do weird sh.. all the time.' This seems to be one of those instances.

Apparently she is having the babies because her 9 year old wanted a little brother or sister! Which makes it even more bonkers. If the child changes its mind when these babies are born and doesn't want them, will she give them away? She needs to learn how to say"No".

I don't know, ana. I did say 'if'.

BTW, soon, the point about my being older than some of Minibags's peers is really about their having younger grans! Of which state of affairs I neither approve nor disapprove; I just accept it.