What happened to parties with games and a party tea?

It isn't just more money than sense, it also spoils the excitement of doing it for the first time when it is age appropriate.
The gym party and not standing still seems ideal- will work up an appetite too.

For DGS's 7th, DiL got two PE teachers at her school to run a gym party. They organised activities using the equipment in the school gym, did team games and generally didn't let the kids stand still. DS was responsible for a good tea, after which, for good measure, DiL ran them round the school field. Sounds like a boot camp, but they all enjoyed the challenges.

Our nephew goes to a private day school in a very affluent area of the Midlands. My jaw dropped when one "party" for 12 year old involved going to a track and driving a high powered car. £80 per child (that was about 5 yrs ago). When people have more money than sense...

I think it is all such a shame- too much, too young and then nothing is new and exciting later on.

I have just spent a happy Saturday morning at soft play for dgs's 2nd birthday party. They all had a brilliant time and collapsed in the car on the way home-DGS was transferred to his bed without even blinking! DS and Ddil decided this was actually easier than trying to fit 10 excited 2 year olds, buggies, mums and baby siblings into their quite small house. They also have 10 week old baby so it was def the better option for them

Older DGS had a football party last year...the local junior club hires out its ground for £85 for the morning/afternoon and that included a couple of coaches. They all thought they were Messi or Ronaldo! We were allowed to use one of the function rooms in the stand to set out food and the cake. Fab day and very reasonable.

DGD had The Animal Man who brought a collection of animals from snakes, to Guinea pigs to 5" hissing cockroaches, ducks and geckos! All the little girls loved it! Nanna wasn't quite so sure!

My DGD was at a party on Sunday. They were in a soft play area and then moved into another room for a disco. How old was the birthday child? 2 like my DGD. I do think there is an element of having to go one better than the child before and this was almost the last birthday in their little group. What future parties will include I dread to think!

JackyB There was a lot of smoke and coughing, but not a great deal of fire (it was February and windy!). We did manage to toast marshmallows though!

Having spent a few years as a Guider in my early 20s, I always planned the kids' parties down to the last minute, knowing that any free time between activities would lead to chaos. Alternating quiet and boisterous games, and breaks for drinks and food. This always worked. My kids went on to be church youth group leaders and applied the same principle.

My eldest was apprehended at the railway station once by a girl from back then, who was at the same Uni as he was - they were both doing doctorates, so they were already in their mid-twenties. They had a good chat and reminisce, and the girl said that she would always remember the great birthday parties at our house! (And this despite the fact that all our kids had winter birthdays and it wasn't always possible to go outside).

Anyway, that was then. Nowadays I think we'd have to accept the fact that 9-year-old girls will have a beauty parlour birthday. But a cake-baking, or even more physical activity would be just as satisfying (and probably cheaper).

I misread one of the posts above and thought it said "fire-fighting in the woods". Now THAT would be a really exciting birthday party!

I don't like the new habit of children giving each other presents of money - and only folding money will do - instead of a well-chosen present, however small. Of course, I need hardly add that my GSs think it's a great idea.

DGS has been to several parties lately where the party bag contains a book. Think there must be a good offer on somewhere! Seems a much better idea than all the crap plastic toys they usually have.
My most memorable party was a trad one where there was a power cut for several hours. We had the children singing together and when we ran out of songs they started on hymns. TG for a church school education It was like a Victorian revivalist meeting; hymn singing by candlelight. They enjoyed it though.

Proper parties build memories.....well they did when I ran them. When DD was 7 she had a Princess party. Not fancy dress...they just had to come in their normal party clothes because all little girls are princesses. I made a cake in the shape of a castle with four towers and doilies used to make the tower roofs (think Cinderella castle shape). Everyone was impressed and, with the cake in the centre of the table, I proudly lit the candles. There was a whoosh as the doilies caught fire. Flames shooting up to the ceiling and screaming little girls made it a party to remember.

Even now they talk about the party when the cake caught fire

I've been to a few birthday parties, for my Gks at Play Spaces, you know the places where the children play on the equipment and the Play Space people provide everything including the birthday tea and party bags to take home. I think the parents provide the cake.

Went to one yesterday and couldn't help thinking that there was something lacking. I remember the countless parties I arranged for my kids - the home made cake, the jelly, hotdogs, etc., the clearing up afterwards - it was hard work but so much more homely.

Interesting, Greenfinch. My 13 year old grandson has ASD, and he likes trad parties. They seem easier for him to know how to behave, even though they are noisy. He does not like noise but is getting used to it. Strangely, though, his 13 year old friends like it, too. They can behave just like boys should.
Should I play pass the parcel at my party tomorrow?

GD, five, was at a party yesterday and couldn't wait to tell me that they got to pet tarantulas and rats and ..... my toes were curling up in horror. " don't worry Grandma they didn't bite me " thank goodness for that.

-Yes you do need space. We are lucky enough to have a fairly large house and garden and our twin grandchildren's birthday is the last day of May which is generally a good time. Two years ago we did a traditional party for them :DH and SiL did the games and DD and I did the food. It was a huge success : one boy saying it was the best party he had ever been to and another saying "aren't we going to play any more games?" when it was time to go home .Last year when they were 7 it was decided to have a day out at "Four Kingdoms" each taking one friend. This year they have pleaded for a traditional party so here we go again ! Several of the children will be on the autistic spectrum as they were before and there will be a good mixture of boys and girls but I am sure we will all have a good time.

Fortunately my grandchildren haven't been taken over yet. They still have tea parties and pass the parcel, along with their friends. The youngest will be 8 next month. Even did tail on the donkey last year.

I do think space and location play a part too. Not everyone has a house big enough to host a party for 15 or more boisterous 7 year olds and sometimes it's just more practical to book a venue or choose an activity that can cater for larger numbers.

DD2 decided once her girls felt traditional parties were passe they could take one friend to an 'event' plus going out for lunch or supper. Funnily enough they both still want tea parties with games etc & more friends ! (aged 6 and 9)

DD1 is planning her boys 7th birthday and it will probably be sports based plus a picnic.

Oh dear, DGD will be 7 soon, what are they going to be in for in the next few years?

It all sounds a bit grownup to me; 10 pin bowling or the cinema followed by an unhealthy burger sounds about right for 9 year olds!

Parties still seem quite traditional for smaller children but bouncey castles or soft play rather than musical chairs and Oranges and Lemons.
My daughter in London has a big problem with parents leaving siblings along with the child who was invited, sometimes much older or younger and sometimes without even telling her they've been left.
Thank God I'll never have to hold a children's party again!

aggie Isn't it awful when that happens? My DS had a friend who did that each time he came to play - and as for the friend's younger sister . . . The irony was that they had every toy you could imagine bought for them, including quadbikes when they were only five years old, but they always wanted other people's toys and treasures - which they would then abandon in their garden I did manage to retrieve a few things, but gave up in the end. Luckily, my DS got fed up and acquired some different friends!

Mini Mouse , things were a bit fraught when my youngest had a 6th birthday party , the boys had to be frisked at the exit as many of his old toys and most of his presents were being " borrowed " He was completely bewildered and it was the last party in our house

When I was young I always found traditional birthday parties a bit of a trial. I would much sooner have had the option of laser quest, building dens, making bows and arrows and and lighting fires in the woods (professionally supervised!) or having a swimming party, which is what GS has done in recent years. One of his friends even had a party in a nearby Peak District cave, where they each got the chance to polish a piece of Blue John to take home. It was, apparently, "awesome". It all makes musical chairs and pass the parcel look like a huge yawn. But all these things can cost eye watering amounts of money. Even taking half a dozen to the cinema and a burger afterwards is not cheap. I know that a lot of parents these days tend to get together, if birthdays are fairly close, and split the cost of a venue, which seems to be a sensible option.

I was invited a couple of weeks ago to a neighbours 7 year old son's party and I found it boring as I think did some of the children, the girls, because there were no party games- it all involved around playing games on the largest wall mounted TV screen that I have seen outside Currys. Only one child could play at a time. I sat and chatted to 3 girls- 2 of whom lived doors away so I knew them.

I was only invited because George has adopted me as his Scottish greandmother. His parents are Greek/Cypriot and only moved in a few houses away after Christmas.

It doesn't seem to be quite such a problem with boys. GS1 was 8 last year and he had a magician at his party who showed them some tricks and taught them how to do some. Eight boys and girls and lots of jelly and cake. All fairly painless.