An observation behaviour online

Compared to the posters on some forums, Gransetters are pussycats. There is an occasional spat, but it is usually over by the next day, and people don't often get really nasty with each other. Occasionally we are visited by one of those beings whose name is t***l. (they are believed to have their search engines set to detect any use of their name, so that they can strike)

Here is a guide to the different types If you think a post may have been planted by one of them, DON'T FEED THEM If you feed them, they grow. If you starve them, they wither up and die.

By the time you realise that you are being lured into a fight, you have probably been stung into a reply. I know I have on more than one occasion. Don't feel you have to keep fighting - stop at once and go and do something else. It takes two to make a quarrel, and if you are not there, you won't be tempted.

Can I join your clique merlot and kitty

I agree with merlot but I feel I should stop doing that

I think anyone who replied to the OP was rising to the bait. Starting a thread that is likely to encourage bitching and backbiting lively discussion after some of the fall outs on other threads is just stirring.

If the OP then goes out - stating 'I have a life' (as though others on here do not) why start it in the first place?

This is a pointless thread. Everything on here has been said before.

pompa you could well be right re my marbles, perhaps I can mention it to my GP when I see him next.

Providing I remember, of course

"were let out of the asylum too soon" I don't understand that statement SG.
Surely the HOC's is an asylum.

It's worth remembering that afte r the election that the earth will continue to spin and the sun and the moon will still shine and that IMO anyone who wants to be a politician were let out of the asylum too soon.

Pheonix, don't get me wrong I was not being critical of your comment, was worried that you were losing your marbles not remembering
I left this thread last night -- to go to bed -- 10pm, past my bedtime.

Well phoenix - that really is a very good question. I am at a loss to understand why anyone would wish to do this. It is possible to disagree robustly without being rude.

We have lost grannyactivist (hardly a shrinking violet who could not put her point of view clearly - but always politely) and others. It does seem a shame.

The answer might be just not to rise to the bait or to reply when posters are personally rude - they might become bored with doing so, if they get no response. Respond to the argument, but not the insult.

GrannyTwice why do you keep on being rude to other members?

I don't mean challenging or disagreeing with them, I mean actually being rude and insulting?

pompa In apologise, I did use the C word, but in my defence, it was only after it was used by others. My intention was to respond to the reference to them.

I must agree with the comments others have made, in that whenever the OP type of topic comes up, you can bet your bottom dollar that cliques will come up sooner or later (usually sooner!)

Well that's us told GrannyTwice.

There are a variety of boards on here which if used properly should help to define the appropriate robustness of ones response. If you post in AIBU, don't expect automatic support and sympathy. If you want that , or more measured responses post eg in Relationships. If at the moment you post in Politics or News, expect to get as good as you give and especially if your facts are wrong or your views are strong. If you just want tea, cakes and niceness go to Soops - although recently, that's being misused by some posters

Maggie - yet again yawn, yawn, yawn

How lovely is it that we are all still little girls in the playground at heart? Some relish arguing the point, some make bullets for others to fire, some
( myself included) hate confrontation but still enjoy others points of view especially about things with which I am not too knowledgeable and chip in when I feel I can. In the end though if any of us were hurt about something in our lives or in need of support there would always be someone there to advise or just comment. I think that is what makes the site so good. Sorry on reading it back I fear this post sounds like a competition entry....... C'est la vie.

I started this post at teatime last night before going out for the evening with my husband,I do have a life, I am not glued to Gransnet 24/7.

Labour Manifesto for women - unpaid leave for grandparents

Should you vote tactically? BREAKING NEWS

Read for yourself, unless of course the usual suspects press the report button.

I am off out now for the day with my husband, shopping and lunch.

Oh how this thread resonates with me.
Yesterday I started a thread in which I said I expected to be shot down and boy how right I was.
Two years ago I would have left the site.Now? I gird up my loins, put cream on my thick skin and move on.

I agree with posts from Elegran 28April 19.22 and Eloethan today 01.28.

The thing that gets me is when people ask for opinions without giving all the details ( not saying that they must ) and then get annoyed because people don't give the answers they want.

Yesterday my opinion differed in some ways to a number of other posters. So be it. If you can't stand the heat, stay out of the fire. That said there is no call for specifically nasty personal posts and I think these are rare.

There are lots of subjects on which people can start a thread which are in no way contentious. However, if someone sets the ball rolling with a statement or observation that may be controversial, it is hardly surprising that the issue will be debated - sometimes quite heatedly.

I think I am fairly reserved and quite sensitive - but it would never occur to me to leave Gransnet because several people disagreed with what I said - even if I felt they were being rather scornful or impolite.

In fact, when I first joined Gransnet I was quite excited to contribute to the threads and start some of my own (yes, pathetic I know), one of which was "What would you like to put in Room 101". Someone responded something to the effect of "Have a guess Eloethan ". For a moment I didn't understand and then I realised she was telling me "shut up - you're getting boring." I felt very embarrassed and a little hurt for a couple of days but I got over it and soon started joining in again.

Another time I made some comments regarding vaccinations, and from the outset it was clear that my views were very unpopular with all but one person. But so what? We can't always expect people to agree with us and even if everybody disagrees with what I say, unlike some brave people I won't be imprisoned or beaten up for voicing an unpopular opinion so what's the problem?

Why start a thread then disappear again?
Your opinion magpie? Or (perish the thought) not just "stirring?

Or, failing magpie who has not been back to the thread, which ones Pompa has noticed.

I would be interested to hear which names magpie123 has noticed are missing who used to post quite frequently.

Ana

Where's magpie gone? Strange not making a single comment on a thread she started.