Grandchildren

NEVER NEVER NEVER mention it

All families are different. Jings clearly has a family where people can speak their mind without offence being taken.

Such a personal question would never be tolerated in other families.

If in doubt say nowt.

Agree with most other here, don't say anything.If they want, or are able to have children, then they will do. otherwise assume, much as it pains you that there may not be any.

It's bad enough fending off GGM's asking me!
She's not so secretly hoping 2 unmarried DGDs might miraculously produce a GGD before she dies, bless her! GGF just rolls his eyes and their GDs just laugh.

Definitely do not ask.

I know of a comment made to a visitor from abroad.... ''so, do you think you'll have a little one next time I see you'''. It caused a lot of upset.

I think you've made the right decision, Lynker, and it'd be an idea to tell your DH and DD to mind their own beeswax also.

a

My thoughts exactly ginny. You've made the right decision Lynker and I hope that one day you'll get the announcement you're hoping for.

Ginny....you could be right. I think that Judthepud2 has summed it up...thanks Jud! I will bide my time and see what happens (if anything!!). ....I think that I already knew it was not the right thing to do, but it's reassuring to have it confirmed! Thanks again ladies for your expert advice.

Jings. I have a very good relationship with my 3 DDs and we talk freely. However I would not dream of being so blunt on this sort of topic.

Lynker I wonder why your DH and DD think you should ask . If they want to know it's up to them to ask . I expect they actually feel in would not be the right thing to do and would rather they did not get the 'flack' for being so nosy.

Oh no no no no! Don't ask! Too sensitive a subject. If they are having problems that could be very painful for them. And if they don't want any children at the moment, that is their business. If they wanted you to be involved, I'm sure they would raise it.

To be blunt, what they do or do not do in any part of their relationship is none of your business.

Thank you ladies....I think that I knew what your advice would be, which is why I haven't said anything. I sometimes wonder if they are 'trying' but their lifestyle suggests otherwise. I just don't want them to 'miss the boat' if you see what I mean....but given that they are both educated people, I can only assume that they know the score and therefore I will continue to avoid the subject until they raise it......or not. Thank you for your comments......by the way, both my husband and daughter think I should ask them.

Speaking personally jingl - I talk freely with my DH and my sisters
but for some reason I can't seem to do this with my daughter. It's not stand-offish exactly but I am very aware of not being seen as interfering so I don't say anything at all unless asked for my advice. When I have spoken up in the past when I have been unhappy about something, it hasn't gone down well so now I keep quiet and agree with more or less everything she says as I am afraid of a rift. Yes I know, it's pathetic but that's how it is.

I think my post of 19:26:37 covered the respect bit. If you bothered to read it.

I suppose I mean, not talking freely with each other.

What do you mean ... stand-off-ish !! what's wrong with respect and consideration for their privacy and feelings

DS and DDIL together 14 years and now married for 7 - now have a 20 mth old DGS but I never, never, ever asked or even hinted!

None of my business!

I wouldn't hold it against the d-i-l though, ifshe doesn't want a family. That's up to her - and him. #noblame

Are families really this stand-off-ish to each other these days?

Oh, I would ask! Just come out with something like, "So, we gonna get round to some grandkids soon? " That would be ok.

No, please do not ask. It really isn't your business, sorry. What do you hope to gain by asking, anyway? You say you fear your DiL may be stalling. If you manage to establish this to be the case (though heaven knows how you'd couch your questions to confirm that suspicion!), what would your next step be? You can't seriously imagine you could have a cosy little chat with her to chivvy her along?
If they plan on having a family, you will find out in due course! If they have been trying without success, they would not welcome your questions, no matter how gently you ask.
Keep quiet, let them come to you if there's anything they want to tell you or talk about. I know it's hard, but it's time for you to stand back now - your son is making his life with his wife and it's not your place to involve yourself in such a personal and possibly sensitive area of their lives.

A close relative used to ask me if we had 'found the recipe yet'?
It was quite upsetting although I never said so.

I agree, don't ask.

Indeed - not a word! Just don't ask.

If they are trying without success, they don't need the question. Leave them be.