Forgotten birthday

My birthday is soon. I have received a package from Amazon which is books (it always is) Sent direct from Amazon and saves postage from USA. Also a card direct from Moonpig on which is printed .....happy birthday mum from xxxxxx xxxxxx and xxxxxx, but nothing handwritten.
This is certainly an efficient way of doing things and I'm happy that he remembers without prompting.
As a scientist he is methodical and efficient.

I sometimes feel this method is a little impersonal...but on reading about those who receive no acknowledgement of any sort, perhaps I will just be happy that he makes the effort.

The males in my family often forget important dates, DH even forgot out 42nd wedding anniversary, in spite of reminders. I try to send e-mails to DS and even DD and DiL has been 'programmed' to do the reminders, but even that fails. Perhaps it is the way their brains are wired?

What is it about men that they think that they have no need to remember people's birthdays, mothers day etc. They really need kicking up the ass at times.

I also like Ginny's suggestion - just send a card to the cat next time

Since my DSs got partners, I've started getting cards, and even presents. Before that, I rarely got anything. My DH is no better, yet gets the hump when people forget his birthday!

Would say it's a man thing, but at 11am today I suddenly remembered that it's DS2s birthday, and although I bought him a card a while ago, I'd totally forgotten to give it to him (or his partner) yesterday when they went away for a week's holiday.
That's bad enough, but until my 82 year-old mother mentioned it last weekend, I had somehow or other totally ovelooked other DS's birthday that was also coming up this week, and hadn't even thought about buying him a card . Thank goodness she mentioned it when she did!

I've had a very busy couple of weeks of work and DGC-minding duties. That's my excuse anyway, and I'm sticking to it!

SJP no, you are not being unreasonable - he's being an a... Ginny's idea of sending the cat a card next year is brilliant!! Don't not send him a card but make sure it's inappropriate i.e. flowers and glitter and sign it "lots of love from Mummy"!!!

Another example of "selfish" male pairing up with sweet female. At least if she becomes the DIL then you'll be lucky as will he!

DS2 lives away and each year at xmas he is given a slimline calendar with space for notes. On each month I (or recently his sister) have written in the family birthdays/wedding anniversaries/mother's day/father's day etc. No excuse for him to forget although he still manages to phone and say "card in the post" which then arrives 4 days later!!! Ah well - he tries. DS1 has similar shades to SJP's son - sometimes I get a card, sometimes not. I try not to care but I do. Fortunately DD (middle child) has (so far) never missed my birthday! Nice to know someone loves me

In your shoes, SJP, I don't think I'd worry about my husband not 'handling' it very well. Sounds as of your son needs a metaphorical kick up the backside sort of approach anyway.

I'd be pretty mad, if he can remember his siblings' birthdays etc then what on earth is he playing at! As for missing Mothers Day and Christmas too.
My DS isn't the greatest card-sender but he always phones and DDIL generally sends the cards.

I'd flippin' well ask him why?!

Not just sad but inexcusable. You just don't forget your mother's birthday. .. and possible to miss Mothers Day , but Christmas too !!
I think stern motherly words are needed, tell him i said so .

Yes there is a Mr Sjp and he does remember, no good him having a word as he is not very pleased and wouldn't handle it right. My son is so thoughtless and casually indifferent to other people's feelings that it makes me cross at times. Feel better for off loading Thanks all

Yes there is a Mr Sjp and he does remember, no good him having a word as he is not very pleased and wouldn't handle it right. My son is so thoughtless and casually indifferent to other people's feelings that it makes me cross at times. Feel better for off loading Thanks all

I'm sorry too SJP. I don't know what I'd do..but mine is easy for my son to remember it's exactly a week before his. I'd be tempted to forget his. I wouldn't dare remind him and make him feel obligated to remember.You want them to remember because they want to.I have to remind him of his grandmother's and fathers birthday.

Is there a Mr SJP, does he get a gift.
Ds needs a wee word in his ear.... i.e. do you realise hurtful it is to your mother that you can't be --arsed- bothered to even buy her a birthday/Christmas/mother's day card.

That's sad SJP

No apology, or present since and not mentioned when we spoke on in the week. This isn't the first time, he seems perfectly capable of remembering other birthdays such as his sister, his childrens. Also nothing on Mothers day or Christmas.

My ds living abroad gets a reminder email from me for family dates. Ds knows my birthday ok.

However, mother's day is on a different date in his part of the world and (the embarrassment of it ) he has me under instruction to always tell him one month beforehand.

ginny`s idea is a good one. Belated birthday greetings sjp my youngest son isn`t great with family birthdays and usually has to get a reminder to keep him up to scratch.

Yes, fair point night owl.

Not only young men. When I met my husband 42 years ago he had no idea when his family members' birthdays were. He still doesn't know. My sons are not great at it but then they've not had a very good role model

Empathy for your hurt feelings, but also for his thoughtful girlfriend. Why is that that so many men, especially young men, give themselves permission to ignore emotionally significant events. Why do so many young women assume responsibility for them? (no need to answer, I suspect we all know)

You don't say if he has apologised or sent you a present since? If so you have to forgive if not I like the idea of sending a card to the cat and maybe a present for the girlfriend. As a person who has difficulty remembering birthdays I signed up to one of the websites that remind me so maybe a subscription to one of those would be a good present for him but maybe he won't fill in the dates!

SJP - no you're not being precious in feeling hurt that your son would post birthday wishes to his cat and not to you. It seems to me it was quite a mean thing to do.

Deeda, my mother forgot my 13th birthday - and having forgotten it she gave me two shillings and told me if I was that bothered to go and get myself a card. I was 21 and had left home before I ever had a birthday cake, which was made for me by a friend who was incredulous that I'd never had one before.

I like ginny 's suggestion

Deedaa

My mother forgot my 14th birthday! She only remembered when the postman arrived with cards and presents from the rest of the family. Naturally she was never allowed to forget it for the next 36 years