It's MY garden !

Such a shame when children misbehave and damage plants. If you tell them off the parents will naturally respond badly. One way is to be actually super nice and say something along the lines of " I know it seems a nice thing to do, but it's better to leave the flowers where we can all see them"

Or something to the mother " it is tricky to help children know not to pick them isnt it?

Eloethan what you say is true, but what I actually said was that if ninathenana lives in an area where the children are pretty well behaved on the whole, then a telling off may work.Only Ninathenana knows what the children are like where she lives. However, later she says there are no children living near her as it's a coastal main road, so it probably would not happen again anyway.
Numberplease what a problem for you, but I think you are right, otherwise things may escalate.

Our local NT pile has an Easter egg hunt in the gardens every year, but are now considering whether to continue. This year more of the little darlings ran amuck through the garden beds and pulled the heads off the daffs and left a mess. My DD2 was there with DGD2 and was appalled that parents did nothing to keep their DC in check. It seems to be getting worse.

One shocked parent was heard to remark that the trouble was these events attracted people who were "just not National Trust"!

I owned a coffee shop with a couple of friends for some years and the behaviour of some children mothers was unbelievable. The children would pour milk into the sugar basin, drink milk from the jug, climb over the window seat and wipe their 'orrible sticky fingers all over the window, swing from the curtains, shout and scream while the Mums took not a blind bit of notice. I used to go into Joyce Grenville mode and roar 'now Henry/Melissa/Joseph, we don't do that here, *SIT DOWN RIGHT NOW'. They did as they were told, while their Mums continued with their chatting oblivious to what was going on.

numberplease

I would be very annoyed too and would definitely say something. I don't blame the children - they obviously haven't been told that it is wrong to pick flowers from someone's garden.

rosesarered I've seen toddlers from very obviously "middle class" families rampaging around shops, grabbing things off shelves or running around restaurants disturbing other diners- with the parents not batting an eyelid. I think the fact that a child is from as "nice neighbourhood" does not necessarily guarantee good manners.

Sorry, J52 and Ash tree, only just got back on here. I presume the wall is owned by the people who built the housing estate, it`s not feasible for us to put anything on there, and the idea of any climbing plant would not work, as soon as anything started growing, it`d be pulled up by the sweet folk around here! We`ve started to put up and shut up, we only get more aggro if we go after them.

That's a lovely anecdote merlot

When DH and I got engaged I took him to meet my grandparents. They lived in a typical suburban semi and Grandpa was quite agitated about some lads who had started sitting on their wall to eat fish and chips and chucked the empty wrappers into the front garden.

DH drew a quick sketch of a wrought iron fence he could make for the top of the wall. Grandpa was a retired marine engineer so male bonding was quickly established.

Nan and Grandpa are long gone now but my cousin informs me the fence is still on top of the wall.

When we moved to Cornwall 40 years ago we were amazed when the little boy from next door came to apologise for flattening one of our plants with his football. Where we came from in London we wouldn't have expected any plants to survive for more than a couple of days.

We fixed some trellis along the top of our back garden wall to deter intruders. It's about 18" high and we grow clematis up the wall which then climbs all over the trellis. Maybe you could do something like this, number? Though I think in your case some very thorny climbing roses might be just the ticket.

Number who owns the wall? Is there something that can be put on top, such as the spikes used to keep pigeons off buildings? x

We live in an end terraced house, there's a public path down the side, then a wall about 8` high, dividing us off from a new housing estate. We have a wall about 3 and a half feet high around our back yard, and the stones on the top are mostly broken off, because of, not just kids, but young men, standing on our wall in order to reach over and climb over the other wall onto the housing estate, it saves them a long walk round. We`ve been out and spoken to them, as well as banging on the window, but all we get is abuse. Some kids doing it ended up picking gravel up from the edge of the road on the other side, and throwing it over into our yard, plus sitting on top of the wall, picking berries off a tree that`s on the other side next to the wall, and throwing them into our yard as well. There`s not a lot we can do, if we go to the police they won`t be here when the police arrive, that`s IF they arrive.

I would be furious and would certainly say something.

Our front garden as a wall around it so don't get children coming in but we have had the occasional dog and if I have seen anything I'm out there telling the owner.

Numberplease, that's a sad little story, I would have felt very guilty too!

What sort of mothers allow their children to do that? In our previous house we had troublesome neighbours. I would regularly have to go out
to tell their children to stop pulling up my plants and throwing them on the path. When I spoke to the parents about it their reply was 'well they said it wasn't them' although I had seen them do it. These little horrors would also sit on the fence in the back garden and take their shoes off and wipe the dirty soles on the washing on my line! Obviously though, they didn't, because they told their parents they didn't.

number that's disgraceful.

Hosepipe at the ready and 'Oops! I didn't see you there when I was watering the flowers'

I deliberately planted the most viciously thorned shrubs I could find when we moved here because the local yobs would play football using the front of my house as a goal.

They didn't give a toss about kicking it at the windows or door - until the day I walked out with a carving knife, stabbed the ball and walked back in.

When an irate father turned up ( in full Major uniform) I told him why, he grabbed two of the biggest yobs and literally banged their heads together, made them apologise and I never had any more trouble.

Highly effective if totally a no no nowadays

One of my daughters, when about 6, once got into trouble with a neighbour for picking her flowers. I gave her a blooming good telling off, very loud and shouty, plus a smack for good measure (I know, but...!), then was left feeling very guilty, because I then asked her why she`d done it, and she weepily said "I wanted to give them to you".
We lived years ago in a modern terraced house, with a sloping front lawn, and a wall at the bottom which was about 18 inches high. There was one woman who walked her little dog past us, used to lift the dog up onto our lawn to do it`s business, then lift it off again and go on her way. It bothered her not one jot that we asked her not to do it, and banged on the window each time, she still did it.

nina That is so wrong in a child of that age. My son and his devoted girl friend (both two at the time) pulled the heads off many of my daffodils. But that was toddlers being toddlers. (I was righteously cross about my pretty flowers being hurt.)

Pyracantha hedges work but the trouble is they are indistructible once they are growing well.

Cheeky so-and-sos! My garden is full to bursting with bluebells and two children were hanging around by my gate last week when I came out of my house. I suspect they would have helped themselves if I'd been out, but the older one said 'we like your flowers' which I assumed was a big hint. I told them they could pick some and they got a few each and ran off to catch up with their mum, who waved her thanks. Don't mind at all if they are polite and it's not mindless damage.

If children have parents who don't garden, they can't differentiate between wild and cultivated at all easily, it means nothing to them - and often, to their parents. I had one mother tell me I should be grateful for her son having 'deadheaded' my peonies for me.

I had my own sister tell me off for shouting at my nephew. He pulled up a newly-planted hammamelis that had cost a small fortune, he wanted it to fight a sword battle with another cousin. She said he wouldn't have realised the importance of it, in a garden with so many shrubs and trees. I replied that I didn't want any branches at all being snapped off, surely he would realise that, but then she said that the only trees he saw to touch were those in the forest about ten miles from where they lived.

I think it's unlikely to happen again. But I used to keep an old supersoaker of my son's handy by the window, after the peony incident!

roses there are no children in my area. I live on the coast road which is a main route into town from the outlying village. We don't get a lot of pedestrians passing.

That was my idea anno Wicked!

Or nettles.