Bottle feeding mothers

Referring back to the OP, I'd be interested to know more specifically what sort of negative reactions the bottle-feeding mothers are talking about.

In 1972 I found there were mixed messages about breast feeding. We were told it was good to breast feed, but very little support was offered and samples of Cow & Gate formula milk, together with promotional material, was offered to new mums. The babies were kept in a nursery until feeding time. Breast-fed babies had to be weighed before and after a feed and it was all very stressful. I think the babies were given formula milk by the nursing staff during the night. Out of a ward of approximately 18 mums, about 6 of us attempted to breast feed and 2 gave up.

In 1979 I was in a "cottage hospital" and sharing a room with one other mum. It was a totally different experience - very relaxing and supportive - and although our babies were in a nursery at night, they were brought to us when they needed a feed.

My mum had apparently tried to breast feed me but gave up, her explanation being that her milk was of poor quality - whatever that means. She was not particularly supportive of me breast feeding and I got the impression that she didn't think it was that important.

If someone asked me, I would certainly say that in my opinion, if it is possible, it is better for the baby (and the mother) to breast feed. I would not venture an opinion unless I was asked.

nightowl I don't know where ajenela is coming from either. Our generation were encouraged to breastfeed and I don't know any grandmother who would not support her daughter/DiL who wants to breastfeed - or support her in not doing so if that is her decision. If ajenela's mother didn't support her , that doesn't mean she can extrapolate to all
mothers.
Why blame grandmothers for the decisions of mothers? Looks very like another "It is all the fault of the older generation" to me. Damned if we do and damned if we don't.

It was the other way round for me, jingl. I breast fed my first two successfully because I had support from a lovely district nurse (the second one was born at home) and a good friend who could have held masterclasses in being an earth mother.

We had moved by the time I had my third baby. It was a badly handled difficult birth and I was sent home within 48 hrs to cope with two toddlers and a farm manager husband who was desperately trying to hold it all together - no paternity leave in those days.

My attempts to breast feed only lasted a week. Thank goodness for formula milk and a contented baby.

I don't think doctors had much understanding or knowledge about breastfeeding back then. With my first baby I had some kind of postnatal depression and, through that, I became very tired. My gp's answer was to give me tablets to dry up the breastmilk! Needless to say, I was still tired and anxious after that.

It wasn't until I had my third baby thirteen years after the first, that I had the confidence to breastfeed for any length of time.

There definitely was not the encouragement there is now.

Do we really have a generation of grandmothers few of whom breastfed ajanela? I am genuinely interested in the statistics supporting this, as I thought my generation were encouraged to breastfeed. I breastfed my own three children for extended periods (it felt like 10 years without a break!) and I didn't feel unusual at the time. Do the statistics not bear out my experience?

If a mother chooses to breast feed she also has the right to support in that choice. She does not need people giving her strange looks or making comments or sending her to the toilets if she needs to feed out of the home. She does not need someone turning up with a packet of baby milk as soon as she is feeling stressed or tired or the baby cries . Mothers of bottle fed babies get stressed and tired and bottle fed babies get a lot of reaction to formula cows milk causing them distress.
The UK has one of the lowest percentage of mothers breast feeding in Europe and we have a generation of grandmothers of whom few breast fed for any length do time so they don't have the experience to support their daughters who want to breast feed. A common comment is "I bottle fed you and your ok" . As grandmothers we must learn with our daughters and support them. Taking the family a cooked meal is better support than a packet of formula.

Breast milk offers some immunity to some infections. It also contains enzymes that help the digestive system to develop. The act of sucking on the breast – which is quite different and much harder work than sucking from a bottle – helps to develop the mouth and jaw. Research has also shown that breastfeeding mothers have a more acute awareness of the baby's position when co-sleeping. This why co-sleeping is not recommended for bottle-fed babies even if all other factors (e.g. non-smoking parents, not overweight parents, etc) are positive. The "recipe" of breast milk changes with the baby's needs and more milk is produced during growth spurts when the baby is hungrier.

Baby formula is a safe substitute for breast milk, but does not provide anything like the same benefits.

Yep! Sad really.

That GN paranoia you mentioned must be catching, jingl...

Certainly not you petallus. I think it might be obvious if you read a certain recent post!

Oh petallus, just read the thread...

jinglbellsfrocks out with it! Who is the odd bitch you are referring to?

Immunity is an interesting subject, re breast feeding. I BF both my children for a year.

DS 1 had chicken pox when DS2 was 3months old. A week later DS2 had chicken pox! Until he saw for himself our GP wouldn't believe it.

The same son had shingles at the age of 4. That time 4 doctors looked at him before agreeing on the diagnosis.

So, does BF offer immunity? x

Some women have issues and hang-ups about their breasts and breast feeding and no amount of support can help them over this. They may choose to bottle feed for a reason that isn't obvious or valid to other people, undermining them by devaluing their concerns doesn't help. Support- yes condemnation because they choose not to- No!

I see the odd bitch is still popping up on Gransnet.

The main thing missing from formula milk is that ability to help with immunity. I am sure most mothers would find it reassuring to have this asset on their side; and they should be given every help and encouragement to feed. I can understand when breast feeding does not work out (this happened to me with my first who refused to suck) but the idea of choosing to bottle feed for some other reason (I can't really think of a good one!) seems unsatisfactory to me. There should be lots of support available to help mums to use their breasts for the purpose for which they were intended.

It's ages since I've been on this site. I see jingle is still making idiotic remarks.

Absolutely true trisher

The pressures put on them to be the 'perfect' wife, mother, have the 'perfect' pregnancy, labour, baby, child etc are quite frankly ridiculous and unobtainable without being made to feel inadequate when breastfeeding doesn't work out.
I've known new mums who had emergency and planned Caesarean sections who've felt they've 'failed', how sad.

Of course breast is best and if possible how a baby should be fed (my 3 were) BUT if it is a choice between a reluctant, harrassed, unhappy mum breast feeding and a happy relaxed bottle feeder then bottle feeding wins out. What is important is that mum should work out what is best for her and her baby and be supported in that decision. Babies are happiest when mums are happy and content. The sort of milk they get is secondary to the feelings passed on to them as they feed.

I am hugely in favour of breast-feeding where a mother is able to do so, if for no other reason than it is enormously reassuring to know that the baby has received the colostrum and also the breast milk that is so beneficial to immunity from infection. Nature does know best over this - I am fascinated by the fact that a feeding mother can provide help to a baby to fight off an infection that the mother does not have and has never had. Apparently the baby conveys information about the infection to the mother when suckling and the mother produces antibodies, even though she does not have the infection herself - quite amazing!

I do think that mothers should be encouraged to breast feed if they are able, but not made to feel bad if it is not possible. It is part of public health information that mums should know breast is best, and that knowledge should be made available.

DS2 was in SCBU for nine days after he was born. I was sent home and there was no milk bank. I expressed milk every day and when he was ready to come home, he happily abandoned the bottle and took to breastfeeding as if he'd been starved. Nine months later... I weaned him to the cup.

It does seem amazing that the decision seems to depend on the fashion at the time.
My first was overdue and in an incubator for the first 2-3 days (anoxia). When I was at last allowed to hold him I was encouraged to breastfeed, and it worked well, he soon got the hang of it.
And thank God had no serious consequences from his early problems.

I was devastated not to be able to breast feed either of my DC. The last thing I would have needed was a negative reaction from anyone else as I felt bad enough anyway. Thankfully both have grown up to be strapping six foot plus men so the guilt and worry that I may have given them a bad start to life has long gone.

DS1 refused to take a bottle from me - he knew what he liked - but when we were househunting, my sister in law was able to bottle feed him. I was hugely engorged and feverish when I got back to her house and the feed he got then should have sunk him! Strangely enough, at 7 months he refused breastfeeding completely. Just zipped his lips and I got him on a cup straight away. A very determined infant he was!