To wish my DD's 'friend' had just kept her mouth shut?

Women always feel the need to share their horror stories of birth with other women in the late stages of pregnancy! It's cruel! I have horror stories of my own and never share them with pregnant women!

It does seem to be a pattern though! Not sure why.

You are right in that the baby has to come out one way or the other and both have their risks, but the majority (ie the boring ones that no one talks about) happen easily and safely.

DD2 was induced. Pessary and waters broken at 9am. DD2 arrived at 2.10pm. Was much better than the messy natural starting labour I had with DD1.....all the mess was in the hospital and cleaned up by other people

DD2 didn't want to engage either but came anyway.

Tell her not to worry.

I was induced with my first. Two pesseries and waters broken all this over 24hrs. but despite being 8 days over due DD did not want to come out I had to have a c section.
I think you've been great and given DD the kind of support she needed. Good luck to her, and I look forward to proud nannie's announcement IMHO she's made the right decision.

'Twas ever thus – women who had already had babies telling horrific stories about labour to those who hadn't yet. I remember a holiday job when I worked in a factory. As the youngest woman there I was fair game for the older ones to regale me with terrifying accounts of childbirth – and I wasn't even pregnant.

Thanks Meercat. No, I don't understand why some women delight in spelling out all the horror stories to those still "in waiting". It does seem to be some sort of competition, I agree. A kind of showing off at how awful their experience was, much worse than anyone else's. I think it's the precursor to the "my baby's so advanced" stories . Loopy you must have wanted to slap them!

It's the same in many situations Meercat, a sort of perverse delight in gloom, doom and extreme scenarios I think.

As a former midwife it used to, and still does, really infuriate me. The pregnant woman's hormones and emotions are already all over the shop without the scaremongers starting.

99.99% of the time it's for sheer effect I think.

Ashtree what a lovely way of helping your DD to weigh up the pros and cons. Looking forward to hearing when the little one arrives.

As for those who seem to feel the need to share their horror stories of birth, unfortunately it is not a new thing. I can remember plenty of women who seemed to want to engage in a kind of competition to have had the worst experience and a couple who scared the living daylights out of me telling me about the life long problems for forceps delivered babies after my DD came that way. (She suffered no ill effects whatsoever) Why do some women do that to others?

AshTree. Phew! Me neither.
Be sure to let us all know when he/ she arrives!

Thanks Bellanonna. My DD too is an older mum and there are other reasons, that I won't go into on here, why the c-section was agreed. The registrar said that if she was in her 20's and likely to have several more babies then he wouldn't have agreed to it, but there will not be any more after this much wanted little one.
My DiL has two children, both exactly the same birthweight at 9lbs 11.5oz. They were both vaginal births . She had an epidural the second time (I don't think there'd have been a second time if my first had been that size!)

AshTree, both my girls had a c-sec, the younger one twice. Both recovered reasonably quickly so don't worry too much. both say they were glad they had their babies that way. Their c-secs were not emergencies, but first daughter's was a bit last minute for various reasons. Similar with DD2. She persuaded the obstetrician to let her have a c- sec for her second baby as she found the first experience a good one. He probably also agreed as she was an older mum and had got quite big. My little GC3 was born 9lbs 10oz, an eye watering weight for a vaginal,delivery i think! All the best for next week.

My DD3 had a long and v painful labour with her first baby and was v nervous with 2nd. Wanted a c-section but consultant refused saying there were more risks as it is major surgery. He only kept it for emergencies. DD was disappointed but was induced a week early and had the baby in 8 hrs beginnin to end! No stitches and was up and in action within the hour.

DD2 had emergency section and was in a lot of pain for weeks. I know which I would have advised having seen the after effects. I hope your DD is fully aware of what to expect AshTree. But I hope it all goes well for her and your little GC. I'm sure you are getting excited now. Keep in touch. My DD1 due in 2 weeks. This will be DGC6!

Thanks loopy. My DD has one of those long sausage shaped pregnancy support pillows which, when folded, doubles as a nursing pillow. I'm hoping that will do the trick with a sore tummy, but if not the V shaped one should be handy

DDIL had emergency CS and said best thing she was given afterwards was my 'V' shaped pillow to put on her lap when breastfeeding (when the two 'arms' going each side of her tummy) because getting comfortable with a sore tummy was difficult so might be worth considering?

Fingers crossed for you and DD, not long now! How exciting x

Will do - don't think it can do any harm to be truthful, but always worth checking.

Double check with the midwife, though [although DIL's midwife did agree that it was a good idea].

Thanks for the tip Tegan. I'll get some arnica tablets for her to take in the days leading up to it. I have a friend who always swears by them, but I didn't think of it! I'll look into the silicon thingy, thanks

When DIL had DGD by C section I had to go out and buy arnica tablets for her as recommended by the midwife, but they do say to take them prior to the c [hers was a last minute one so she didn't take them beforehand]. Midwives do seem to agree that they promote healing. Also there's a silicon thingy that you put on the scar that also aids the healing process.

Oh God, I'm looking forward to that too, janea, you don't know how scared I am of something going wrong, even at this late stage

And you don't know difficult it was for me to stay calm and neutral yesterday - I'm the opinionated type usually, always telling advising my DC what they should be doing . But this was such a very important decision and I knew it had to be hers.

#bitingmytongue

What a good mum you are Ashtree
Looking forward to hearing your DGC has arrived safely!

It feels good when a decision has been made - nothing worse than indecision. So good that she had you there to focus her mind. ooking forward to the birth announcement on GNet.

I was so pleased I'd accompanied her, when, because there was a chance that DH was going to take her instead. He said afterwards, "Thank God I didn't - I wouldn't have been any use at all. I would have just said, 'Look, it's your decision darling, I can't make it for you.'"

"a little bit of discomfort" .

Excellent, Ashtree. There are times when mum really does know what her daughter needs to hear and that was one of them

"No lady is going to get her baby without a little bit of discomfort" was the answer from the midwife at my antenatal class when asked how much it would hurt. She was not a woman prone to exaggeration.

Yes, when, you are so right about your thinking changing as labour began. This is what I've been telling her, that by the time labour is well under way she would not be focusing on the pain (which, yes, does f*****g hurt!) so much as getting the bloody job done
The meeting went so well yesterday - DD asked me to go in with her (two sets of ears and so on). We saw the obstetrician's registrar as she was delayed elsewhere, but he was fantastic. He laid all the facts before her, in a totally neutral and non-judgemental manner, and said he would support her whatever decision she made. Because she was still so unsure, he said, 'look, go and have a cup of tea and think through everything, then come back and see me in, say, an hour'.
So we did just that. I tried so hard not to influence her, but helped her to order her thoughts by making a list of the pros and cons for each side. At this point it looked as if a c-section was in the lead, but I kept that thought to myself! I said to her, 'Imagine you've already made your decision and we're walking out that door now, and your decision was induction. How do you feel?' The answer was immediate: 'proud of myself'. Then I put the same scenario, but with the c-section decision and asked how she felt. Her whole demeanour relaxed as she said with a smile "enormous relief". So I said, 'OK, put those two feelings in a set of scales, pride on one side, relief on the other. Which one is tipping the scales?
So her decision was made that way. She'll be booked in for a c-section at 39 weeks and is awaiting a phone call to say which day. Likely to be next Thursday or Friday (she's 39 weeks on Thursday). I will keep you all informed!