Gransnet forums



(75 Posts)
janep57 Sun 09-Aug-15 16:06:33

Genuinely in need of comments and advice on how you deal with the emotional fall-out of the chaos which is the NHS. I couldn't even begin to relate the number of crazy letters, cancelled appointments, differing pieces of advice and dubious tests that DH has suffered over the past twelve years. Recently this has all accelerated and the final straw was two cancellations of the procedure that he is due for - the second of which was not confirmed until the day of admission and only when he chased it on the phone. We have now been told that a slot cannot be found for him until 'before the end of the year'. This is an operation with a four week convalescent period which obviously involves some reorganisation of your life. AIBU in feeling very angry about this? I am fully aware that there are people out there with much more serious issues and worse stories to tell. My main question is how do you get your head round the way the NHS treats you? Am finding it very hard to live with my anger and frustration! (I have suggested we investigate paying but he won't go there.)

Jane10 Sun 09-Aug-15 16:14:04

Put in a formal complaint to your health board? Outline the various cancellations and miscommunications. Our local board seems to take complaints very seriously. They may even arrange for the op to be done privately.

durhamjen Sun 09-Aug-15 16:15:30

Have a look on here, Jane, to see if it is common in your hospital.

janep57 Sun 09-Aug-15 16:20:44

I did see on the Citizen's Advice website that if an op was cancelled on the day for other than medical reasons they had to organise for it to be done at a hospital of your choice. Bet it's a process to get there though. Difficult because we do trust the Consultant and think that he is just suffering from the system. It's a skilled op. (I guess they all are!). Mainly difficult because DH seems to take it all in his stride as men do (?) whilst I do all the worrying and feeling angry! Thanks for advice though. I might pursue it.

janep57 Sun 09-Aug-15 16:28:32

Thanks durhamjen. Reports are mixed as they always seem to be on these sites.

soontobe Sun 09-Aug-15 16:29:43

If you were me, I would be thinking of either taking your husbands laid back approach and thinking, oh well, leave until the end of the year.

Or I would be pulling out all the stops.

I dont generally do the middle route in life of fretting or venting or getting anxious etc.

If you are going to pull out all the stops, make sure that you have your husbands backing.
Then do the suggestions above, ask your consultant for what he would do, ask about getting it done in a different hospital etc.

janep57 Sun 09-Aug-15 16:43:54

That's sensible advice. I have got stuck in the middle! Find it very difficult not to feel a victim of the NHS. Guess I resent DH's ability to shrug his shoulders and get on with it. Quite resentful that this is the first year of my retirement too. Difficult to vent as the onky people who know about this are our kids and don't want to get them over concerned.

soontobe Sun 09-Aug-15 17:09:57

Gransnet can be good for venting.
Some gransnetters find it very helpful.

janep57 Sun 09-Aug-15 17:15:34

Yes it is. Thank you. 'Am I being unreasonable?' Is something we are so often left feeling! Usually I think we aren't!

soontobe Sun 09-Aug-15 18:06:00

It sounds like you are a victim of the NHS.

I dont think I would resent DH's ability though. Unless his health is at risk.

Luckygirl Sun 09-Aug-15 18:09:24

It can be so frustrating - I have several friends whose ops have been cancelled on more than one occasion, and who had had their "pre-op" appointment, which had to be repeated several times, because it became out of date.

tanith Sun 09-Aug-15 18:34:24

I understand its frustrating and a total pain in the butt and a lot of it caused by lack of communication and misunderstandings but I am still very grateful we have the NHS.
Where would we be without it?

janep57 Sun 09-Aug-15 18:46:29

Yes I agree we should be grateful for it and I am a total supporter but the stress of the build up to an op and keeping your calendar clear for recuperation etc can't be underestimated. It shouldn't be like this. The system is at fault and we should be aware of the damage it is causing. You can't blame the individuals but it is not a good health service that causes so much stress!

soontobe Sun 09-Aug-15 18:48:12

I am all for an insurance system in some form or another.

NHS is causing harm.

Alea Sun 09-Aug-15 18:52:21

It is also saving lives. But hey, never let the facts get in the way of a good Bon mot.

ginny Sun 09-Aug-15 18:56:17

Causing harm ? What a strange statement to make !

Yes, it is frustrating and upsetting when things don't go as they should but millions of people benefit every year and I for one hope we keep our NHS.

janep57 Sun 09-Aug-15 19:03:41

Of course it's fantastic in so many ways and we are lucky. However too much interference by governments and changes have made it a bit of a mess too. You only have to talk to those who work in it!

soontobe Sun 09-Aug-15 19:07:28

Scandals. Lots.
People not being cared for well in care homes.
Mental Health Services in dire need.
Social Care - where to start.

janep57 Sun 09-Aug-15 19:08:55

Fantastic at the life-death cases. Not good at the day to day ailments and ops. Very poor at looking after the mentally ill and elderly.

soontobe Sun 09-Aug-15 19:09:34

Doctors complaining. They are not complaining about nothing.

annodomini Sun 09-Aug-15 19:13:43

Bunkum, soon. There are inefficiencies in the way the NHS is being run but I wouldn't mind betting that there are more of us that have cause to be grateful for the NHS than otherwise. I have had surgery that would have cost (or my insurer) me tens - if not hundreds - of thousands under the US system. And could I afford to be insured? Probably not.

Alea Sun 09-Aug-15 19:17:30

Would you care to elaborate?And itemise some doctors' complaints? Or are you just giving us the gospel according to soontobe?

Let's face it NO SYSTEM is perfect, but at the moment the NHS is doing a bl***y good job considering its hands are tied behind its back by spending cuts and government interference.

soontobe Sun 09-Aug-15 19:23:36

That is the point. Its hands are tied by spending cuts.
I dont know about the government interference part but if you say so, then that too.

Of course we are grateful for the NHS. For what it has been. And to a certain extent what it is now.
But I would hope for a better system by insurance. That would take into account those that cant pay[not meaning health tourism] and those who would only be able to pay part.

whitewave did a whole thread on it.

People can google doctors complaints.
And scandals.

So yes. NHS is causing harm. Good of course too[didnt think that needed saying but whatever], but definitely harm.

soontobe Sun 09-Aug-15 19:26:10

soontobe Sun 09-Aug-15 19:27:47

Actually this is janep57's thread about her own problems. So back to her.