dirty old men

I do feel for you Ethel and I hope you get it sorted quickly what I don't understand is the way the other members have not stepped in and put this chap straight as to his actions I certainly would if I was a member of the same class.

I'm at a loss to understand the couple of nasty comments on here, if you don't think you have anything constructive to contribute, then just read and move on.

You have all my sympathy Ethel and I think you do have to go the direct, loud voice route. In my experience, other men won't intervene until you've done this.

Just had a thought....the culprit from my story would now be in his 70s....so its how they were brought up....not the present day attitudes that tend to influence their behaviour. I'm sure he is still making inappropriate comments in retirement somewhere.

If he's so intent on suggesting to you how big his 'attributes' are, why not suggest he poses for a nude study session and then you could all laugh at his bits and pieces! Or draw them with a magnifying glass superimposed over them! Facetiousness aside, I feel for you. I had a similar situation with an older work colleague and had to threaten to report him before he would moderate his behaviour, which would have lead to his dismissal. Not an option open to you, I know. If he thrusts his hips at you again, I would be inclined to accidentally bring my knee up!

Apart from the fact this chap is very old....it all reminds me of an episode in the bank I work in .....cast your mind back to the early 80s misogyny ruled in banks and us girls had to hop about and keep out of stationary cupboards if we wanted to stay out of trouble.
One well known Lothario (all talk as it happens) had really annoyed a rather feisty and very pretty member of staff, I believe her name was Annett (the sort who could look good in a bin liner). Any road up she had had one too many rude comments from him one day when she just suddenly threw herself across his desk (an open plan office thankfully)and said, very loudly....'Oh take me now!'.......he did not know what to do with himself and was as good as gold thereafter.

A kindred spirit Absent

My niece was cabin crew for a good few years and she said the girls were often pestered by male passengers. On one occasion, as she leaned across the three seats to pour coffee from the pot for the person seated by the window, one of these ageing lotharios (aka sex-pests), ran his hand right up her leg, under her skirt. So she swung the coffee pot round and poured the hot coffee right over his crotch! She apologised profusely of course, but he got the message loud and clear.

In the absence of a handy pot of coffee, Ethel, maybe you could accidentally swing round with a jar of paint water and spill it all over his trousers?

I recall one of those of annoying and – yes – embarrassing occasions on a crowded tube train when some idiot thought it was a good opportunity to lean up against my body and press his hands against my breasts. I was so annoyed that I shouted at the top of my voice, "Will you take your fingers off my nipples and stop leaning against me?" He got off at the next stop and the whole carriage applauded. I was red-faced – I was quite young at the time – but satisfied. That is probably the best way to go. Shame him loudly – even if it massively embarrasses you. For the record, your embarrassment is really not justified because he is in the wrong, but we know it happens.

Horrid position for you Ethel, but the thing is, if he has dementia saying something may not stop him. Does he have relatives you could talk to?

I think I would have to tell him that he's a very boring, pathetic and silly old man. Laugh at him, walk away, and get on with what you enjoy doing in the class.

I really don't know why you have posted this Etheltbags. When you can deal with Ana so efficiently surely you can deal with an old man of 88! Or are you only able to be do that kind of thing on line?

I might ask him if he keeps his money down his pants or maybe just poke him with something to see if it is soft like a tee towel.

Sounds like you have made your feeling known already if the classmate calls him your tormentor , I can't understand why you are still getting grief and the rest of the group aren't helping you

I'm with Absent just say loudly 'take your crotch out of my face' so that everybody hears. This type of sex pest is used to women feeling intimidated and saying nothing. This is how they operate. Shame him.

watch this space I will tell all when I see him next. If I can survive wolf whistles I can get over this.

absent, last week the well mannered man in the group said, 'here is your tormentor', just as the nasty man (for want of a better name) came in. They know what hes like I wonder if he has tried it on with any other members. I will ask them.

Hitting this tiresome man is definitely not the answer. Apart from anything else, you could end up charged with assault. Besides, avoiding physical contact is your aim. Make a loud comment – so everyone in the group hears – about how you don't want him to touch you and don't want to hear his puerile innuendos. Also, is it possible to ask someone else in the group, preferably a well-mannered man, if you could sit/stand beside him because you are being pestered by this fool?

Have a glass of cold water handy and if he comes too close, pick it up and then accidentally spill it on him if he touches you, preferably down the front of his trousers.

Well maybe not, Ive not hit anyone since in the playground when I was 5 but I will say something in a loud voice to make him feel so small he will probably not want to come to the group again lol.

I am going to punch his nose. Ive decided.

Sounds like you just wanted somewhere to get it off your chest. Which you have now done. So next time if there is a problem tell him loudly "you are invading my space please move away!". What about asking another male in the group to tall him politely that all members treat each other with respect + his behaviour is unexceptable !

Nasty.

neither am I ana, that's why I posted. However if you don't like it then don't reply. You don't have much useful to say at the best of times anyway.

Which we have. Tell him to get lost. Or use Hilda's suggestion.

Not sure what else you wanted people to say...

ana why should I not expect an 88 yr old to have kept up with current attitudes, he has tv and can watch the news, also I have listened to his chatter to to other members of the group and he talks about his computer, his high spec camera and other modern technology.
Why should he get away with being an old stick in the mud if that is his problem which I don't believe it is, I feel that its like letting an old person be as insulting as they like and saying 'bless they are old they cant help it'.
Sorry, but I think theres no excuse, we all have to adapt to modern ways and his old b......d will have my full temper to deal with when I next see him if he so much as breathes a rude word.

luckygirl I am quite capable of making him cringe with embarrassment or terrify him with some shouted threats but I simply thought it would be supportive (that's what we do on here isn't it)if you lot gave me yur opinions.