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AIBU

dirty old men

(134 Posts)
Indinana Fri 21-Aug-15 21:59:28

At my MiL's first care home there was an 'incident' which caused some problems for the owners with the CQC. Not long afterwards the owners sold up (not as a direct result of the incident, but because they were struggling on a number of levels). We found a new home for MiL.
We discovered some time later, from someone who had worked there, what the incident was - a male resident had crept into one of the women's bedrooms and raped her. She was in her late 80s and utterly traumatised. From what I gather it's a common hazard, but care home owners and managers have a legal responsibility to ensure all the residents' safety. It's definitely not a role for the faint-hearted shock

glassortwo Fri 21-Aug-15 21:47:55

I love hildaW approach, may be what he responds too.

Ana Fri 21-Aug-15 21:44:16

You can't expect an 88 year old to have kept up with current attitudes, ethel, plus as Hilda and Luckygirl have said, he may be somewhat confused.

Luckygirl Fri 21-Aug-15 21:40:55

Dementia can make people disinhibited in all sort of ways, including sexually. He may not always have been like it. But you do need to tell him to stop of course.

etheltbags1 Fri 21-Aug-15 21:40:07

No Ana this is not a wind up, I am really shocked at his behaviour. As I said I thought all this sort of stuff was forgotten along with the wolf whistles as I said before.

Luckygirl Fri 21-Aug-15 21:39:29

Yes - do it. Why are you asking what to do? - just tell him to desist.

HildaW Fri 21-Aug-15 21:38:25

Age has nothing to do with it. Once a nasty pervert....always a nasty pervert. He's probably always been like it. Also if he is tipping over into dementia that can make any tendencies more exaggerated.
I'd adopt a Joyce Grenvillel type voice and say....'We don't do that here William (his name), very loudly and clearly.

Ana Fri 21-Aug-15 21:36:24

If I didn't know you as a regular poster, ethel, I'd have thought this was one of those school holiday wind-ups!

You're a grown woman, tell him in no uncertain terms to get lost. Loudly.

etheltbags1 Fri 21-Aug-15 21:32:06

Am I being unreasonable to expect men aged 80+ to be polite, and reasonably behaved. I would have thought men of that age would have learned how to behave.
I joined an art and craft class where members are all over 60, one character is aged 88 and a sex pest, he only targets me the youngest and touches my leg regularly, makes innuendoes and last week he thrust his pelvis several times into my side as I sat, if I had turned my head he would have been in my face. He had an object in his trousers, I think a tea towel or suchlike to make an enormous bulk and he asked me if that was enough. I tried to ignore him but hes just a pest. I have been advised to hit him, threaten him, throw water over him or really insult him. I don't know what to do .This is a self organised group and we do not have a leader.
I really thought that in this day and age sexual harassment was over, no more disgusting wolf whistles as I pass a building site, no more remarks like 'get yer tits oot' as I walk past a group of men, no more being groped or have remarks like, 'can I feel your buns hinny' etc etc and best of all no more groping. However it seems that men just cant help themselves, so shall I hit him, insult him or say something demeaning.